#( sorry this got super long and I couldn't be stopped at four )
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
copycat | oscar piastri social media au
pairing: oscar piastri x fem reader
they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but really it's just annoying
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
note: sorry to all of the chloes of the world, i just chose a random name!
f1tea
liked by user1, user2 and 27,305 others
tagged: yourusername, chloereed
f1tea: SHE STRIKES AGAIN! y/n y/ln, oscar piastri's girlfriend, recently changed up her style with some bangs and surprise, surprise chloe reed shared her updated look just days later. then to really pour salt in the wound, reed posted yet again in mclaren merch. will she ever give up?
view all comments
user3: BRO YOU COULDN'T HAVE WAITED AT LEAST A WEEK?
user4: i think all subtlety was lost when she copied a literal TATTOO
user5: the way it's y/n's tattoo dedicated to oscar as well...
user6: at what point do we get a restraining order?
user7: the day that girl ends up in the paddock we should let y/n fight her with no consequences
user8: this has been going on for so long i feel like y/n has a lot to unleash on her
user9: at this point i think all of us y/n fans should be able to get their lick in
user10: i'm new to f1 can someone explain this lore to me? (srs)
user11: y/n and oscar have been together for nearly four years now, they got together when they were like 19. this chloe reed girl went on one date with oscar when they were 17 and now copies everything y/n does to try and get his attention? like down to haircut and tattoos ... it's kinda crazy and y/n has made some references to it but like we're nearing like the third year of this so i think she might snap soon
user12: it's even got to the point where chloe has like started talking with y/n's accent? she has a very obvious accent so like it's INSANE
user13: and to think all of this over a single date SIX YEARS AGO
user14: on a brighter note - y/n was MADE for bangs they look so fucking good
user15: obviously she should stop but if there's anyone you want to look like, it would be y/n
user16: at this point is it even over oscar anymore? or has chloe lost herself to journey to BECOME y/n
user17: the fact that she still camps out under all of oscar's posts and constantly posts in mclaren merch
user18: and don't even get me started with how she's always in the comments of oscar's sisters' comments
user19: someone needs to get nicole to put this girl on blast
user20: remember before elon took away public likes that mark went on a liking spree about chloe being a lil weirdo
yourusername
liked by danielricciardo, logansargeant and 1,209,566 others
tagged: oscarpiastri, landonorris & maxfewtrell
yourusername: summer breakin' with my boy (and his boy)
view all comments
user24: MAMA THERE'S A BITCH TRYNA BE JUST LIKE YOU 💜
user25: i unfortunately think she's very aware of it
oscarpiastri: i know you love me because you didn't get annoyed about THEM gatecrashing our couples getaway
landonorris: what if we are a couple HUH???
oscarpiastri: max literally has a girlfriend?
landonorris: ur so close-minded osc
yourusername: i love you osc even with these little stray cats you've picked up
landonorris: did we or did we not organise a super romantic dinner for you?
oscarpiastri: i organised a dinner and you two are so fussy that you left to find some chicken nuggets?
landonorris: therefore giving you a romantic evening on the water?
yourusername: you fell in the water trying to get back on board from the tender and i had to jump in and save you after a fish touched your foot and you began to have a panic attack
landonorris: god you do something nice for people and all you get is SHAMED
mclarenf1: you nearly drowned ???
user26: is chloe going to attempt to drown someone so she can claim she also saved an f1 driver
user27: @georgerussell63 alert the GDPA - NO WATER !!!
georgerussell63: understood 🫡
user28: has it not gotten to a crazy point now that we're warning drivers that this crazy girl might DROWN them ???
user29: at what point do we put oscar and y/n is witness protection
user30: the day she manages to get in the paddock me thinks
charles_leclerc: i see our invite got lost in the mail?
yourusername: please refer to whatever the fuck was going above your comment
charles_leclerc: that you're a victim of identity theft?
yourusername: we been known, but BEFORE THAT
charles_leclerc: oh. you should've let lando drown
landonorris: ???
oscarpiastri: i think that might have gotten me fired?
yourusername: no more papaya rules?
chloereed
liked by user31, user32 and 11,045 others
chloereed: summer breakin'
view all comments
user33: oh brother this guy STINKS
user34: i am feeling sufficiently creeped out on the behalf of y/n and oscar
user35: i really don't understand her game here though? does she expect oscar to see this and actually mistake her for y/n and leave y/n for her?
user36: at this point i think she's lost in the sauce
user37: also oscar is hilariously down bad for y/n like he could probably recognise her via vibrational field he would not fall for this cheap imitation
logansargeant: this ain't it btw (it's never been it)
user38: not logan tapping in
logansargeant: who gon check me boo? i ain't got a job
chloereed: i don't know what you're trying to say, but i don't appreciate you spreading misinformation and hate
logansargeant: you have literally copied everything about my best friend down to her sentimental tattoos and you've essentially stalked my other bestfriend for nearly seven years ?
chloereed: it's not stalking if i know i'm what he really wants? she's the imitation of me
logansargeant: you like need help
user39: GO LOGAN
user40: bro has been let of the leash
user41: tbf when you think about it, logan has been friends with oscar for years and by default friends with y/n for just as long so like he's probably seen how this has effected them personally
user42: i don't really see how this is such a big deal, people try and imitate celebs all the time ?
user43: i think it's because she knows at least one of them personally and is very viciously pursuing oscar
user44: also there has to be an aspect we don't know because i don't think logan would be publicly taking her on in the comments if it weren't a lot worse
user45: also ... like it probably feels like shit as a person generally to have everything you do copied and not even get a tiny bit of credit
f1
liked by danielricciardo, patooward and 1,784,039 others
tagged: charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 & oscarpiastri
f1: we're ready for you monza
view all comments
user46: OMG IS THAT?
user47: i'm being so for real y/n needs to fight her
user48: OSCAR RUNNNNNNNNN
landonorris: do i need to inform the legal department?
yourusername: you might want to give them some sort of heads up
chloereed: why you afraid i'll steal back my man?
yourusername: no i'm afraid i'll get hit with a manslaughter charge
chloereed: that's a threat - my lawyers will be hearing
yourusername: tell them bitch, oscar would still choose conjugal visits with me over ever being with you
user49: came for the fast cars, staying for whatever this drama is omg
user50: i once went on a reddit deep dive about this drama where they compiled all the evidence and holy moly this confrontation has been a long time coming
user51: the best (or maybe worse) thing abotu all of this is that her claim of being with oscar first and dating him when they were 17 is based on one 'date' where is was just a joint ball between their schools where there was a compulsory dance in which they were partners
maxverstappen1: yo this shit is insane
user52: aren't you meant to be in the car in 20 minutes?
maxverstappen1: drama waits for no one @yourusername i got ur back
charles_leclerc: at this point i will mobilise the tifosi @yourusername
yourusername: i can handle her, i might just need some money to fix my nails
oscarpiastri: please do not fight her, she's not worth it
chloereed: she won't fight for your love but i will
oscarpiastri: can you just fuck off
user53: i fear she's pushed them over the edge now lol
user54: i'm glad they're both letting her have it in the PUBLIC INSTAGRAM COMMENTS <3
f1tea
liked by user55, user56 and 34,982 others
f1tea: she's finally done it? chloe reed was spotted in the paddock at monza. will we finally see a confrontation between the two girls?
view all comments
user55: i FUCKING hope so
user56: if i were y/n you'd have to hold me back i'm being so serious
user57: i'd be in oscar's mclaren so fast and be driving down the pit lane to look for her
user58: i'd already be in an italian prison sorry not sorry
user59: y/n needs to give me lessons on being this graceful
user60: at this point we should just have an undercard for the race that's these girls tussling it out
user61: at this point i think logan, charles and max are ready to jump in
user62: charles and max being in the comments just before FP getting the scoop is so insane i love them
user63: imagine getting these f1 drivers this pressed over an aesthetic
user64: if you think this is just about an aesthetic you're just being dumb on purpose
user65: but like y/n is just a girl with bangs and a basic look, u could say like half of the female population are copying y/n
user66: but like please look at the actual evidence, it's way deeper than bangs babe
user67: also the TATTOO WHY ARE WE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE TATTOO
user68: whatever happens y/n will always be better than me
user69: she needs to bash her publicly if she won't beat her physically lol
oscarpiastri
liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 3,984,022 others
tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: please leave us alone, you'll never be her and i don't want you to be
view all comments
user71: STUNT ON THEM QUEEN
user72: a man who vocally defends you >>>
yourusername: love you bby
oscarpiastri: if anyone wants to take me away from you they'll have to defeat me in combat
yourusername: not saying i want that but you would be so sexy in full armour
oscarpiastri: for you... i would wear anything :3
user73: bro said his piece and immediately went back to simping like a pro
user74: if he doesn't offer to wear a suit of armour in the bedroom is he really in love with you?
user75: i guess we're not getting any dad!oscar content any time soon
landonorris: ???
user75: it's a joke about protected sex genius
landonorris: OH
chloereed: that's not what you said then oscar
oscarpiastri: THAT WAS SIX YEARS AGO IN A CONVERSATION I WAS OBLIGATED TO HAVE GET A GRIP WOMAN
oscarpiastri: YOU WILL NEVER FEEL SATISFACTION IN YOUR LIFE IF YOU CONTINUE TO COPY EVERYTHING SHE DOES AND REFUSE TO BE YOUR OWN PERSON
oscarpiastri: so PLEASE FOR YOUR OWN SAKE GET YOUR OWN LIFE AND LEAVE US ALONE
oscarpiastri: oh. i'm blocked
oscarpiastri: slay
user76: so ... oscar... when can we get this level of reading on the radio
yourusername: don't make him do community service :(
user77: but him being sassy is a service to the community
yourusername: you make a good point
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 2,045,677 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
yourusername: you can be a copy cat all you like, but you'll never beat the original
view all comments
user78: i am sorry i exist at the same time as you
user79: i know this a whole love post but i have a confession, i am IN LOVE WITH YOU GET RID OF THE AUSSIE
oscarpiastri: 🤨
charles_leclerc: this was a whole saga, i'm happy it's all worked out for you guys but this was hella entertaining - when can we do it again?
yourusername: never again hopefully
charles_leclerc: boring!
yourusername: it literally got to the point that you offered to leave your car keys in a 'special spot'
charles_leclerc: well obviously i don't mean to THAT extent but i just want a bit of drama, let a girl live
user80: shit stirrer charles leclerc i love you
user81: we should've known he was in the trenches with this, the inchident knows no bounds
oscarpiastri: i love you and i'm sorry this happened. but you do slay so i could see why people would want to be you
yourusername: i knew me with bangs would be too powerful 😔
oscarpiastri: you're the most beautiful girl in the world no matter what
yourusername: ugh you have me blushing pretty boy
landonorris: cringe
yourusername: maybe if you copied oscar's flirting techniques you'd actually be wifed
landonorris: i thought we just established that copying is bad
yourusername: trust me, you need the help
user82: i'm glad we've returned to peace with the lando slander
user83: they're power is insane
maxverstappen1: can i say helping you come up with this caption is my community service
yourusername: fuck yes
maxverstappen1: stunting on hoes is very much in the public interest
fin.
note: i'm back in a rhythm !! this is not so subtle so i'll expand here: please please please do not steal my work, idc if you change the driver, if you're blatantly stealing my ideas and concepts - to the point that people are messaging me to make me aware, please don't! or at least credit me rather than pretending this a completely original thought. mamma mia didn't bother me as much because it's obviously the musical's idea, but omg undercover verstappen? big reputation? and guilty as sin - down to the series name? i haven't made any posts about this but know it's very much bothering me and if i see anymore i may have to put it on blast. thank you all for reading, soz for the rant but this has been going on for months.
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#oscar piastri instagram au#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri social media au
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
lover in the foyer
(remus lupin x reader)
summary: remus lupin loves you, but his best friend 'likes' you too. so you both ended up fake dating.
contents: fluff, hurt/comfort, protective remus, r and remus are totally in love fr.
. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
it was a secret that you have a little crush on remus lupin. you kept that information to yourself 'cause you couldn't let the others know- it would be too embarrassing if they do. for years you've been hiding your feelings. burying it deep inside your heart.
well, that was until one day on the marauder's dormitory, a conversation was spoken.
"i've got something to tell," james started, sitting up right on his bed.
"what is it?" remus replied.
"promise you won't call me crazy?" he asked.
"we promise!" the other three said in unison.
"i'm starting to like a girl... and it's not lily," said the boy.
"what?" sirius asked, not believing what his mate just said. it was globally known that james potter loves lily evans. no one else. it has been six years since.
"yeah... it's y/n,"
a ringing silence filled the room.
you weren't super close with them four. although you are kind of friends with remus. you two talked occasionally when passing through the hallways or in the great hall.
during those small little encounters, remus might've caught some feelings. something different bloomed in his heart. hearing james saying this made his heart burn.
"i feel like she'd be a good distraction- i mean from lily. maybe that way i can make lily jealous and then she'll confess to me. even if lily-flower didn't, y/n would still be decent as a girlfriend i guess. no harm," james continued.
remus frowned, his skin burning. how could someone do that? having you as a second option? total bullshit. he wouldn't let you get treated like that. he wouldn't let james pick on your self esteem like that.
you're too good for anyone. he knows. being a substitute for someone because their crush doesn't like them back is not morally right. your soft heart is too precious to be crushed that way.
"prongs- i think that's a good idea! by then you can get lily to confess to you! you'd be everything!" sirius encouraged james, much to remus' dismay.
"moons?"
"moony has been real quiet-"
"i don't think that's a good idea," remus said sternly. he would be flaring laser beams from his eyes at james if he were a cartoon character.
james' mouth dropped, "why?"
"because- cause she's my girlfriend!" remus spoke abruptly, not knowing what he had actually said.
"your what?" all three of them screamed in shock. remus never said anything about a girl.
"how long?"
"how did that happen?"
"why didn't you tell us?"
"stop!" remus yelled, making them shut their mouth. he was panicking now. you are not his girlfriend. you'll never be. not now. not even tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.
"i started to date her like... two weeks ago," remus said before standing up, grabbing his bag before he headed out of the room. "i have to go, she said something about wanting to meet me in the library."
he fumbled with the hem of his sweater. it was cold, but he was sweating heavily. he has to find you.
thank god the marauder's map was on his bag or he would be caught lying. he saw your name- beautifully written- you were on the clocktower field, sitting alone.
remus ran to where you are, panting when he arrived.
"oh y/n!" he said, taking heavy breaths.
"yeah? remus?" you looked up from your book, gazing at him with the softest yet confused pretty eyes.
"i made a big mistake- i'm so so sorry!" remus said hurriedly. his sweat trickling down his forehead.
"calm down rem, i'm sure it wasn't that horrible! sit beside me, we can talk," you sent him a comforting smile, patting the empty seat beside you.
remus sat down, wiping his palms on his trousers. how does he say it? when does he start?
"you okay?" you asked.
"noyou'rereallyprettyandkindandlovelyandsweetandiknowyouwillneverlikemebackandyouwillhatemeforthisbecauseiclaimedthatyouaremygirlfriendfortwoweeksandimsososorry."
"say that again?" you laughed, pulling out a napkin to hand it to the poor nervous boy before you.
"i may or may not have said that you are my girlfriend in front of my friends."
"why would you say that?" your heart skipped a beat, taking in the words remus has spoken. you'd be lying if you said that you've never dreamed of this- being called remus lupin's girl.
"because- it's kind of stupid really. i got it out before i even know what i was talking about that moment," he scrambled with his words, finding it hard to form a sentence right now.
"basically, james told me that he likes you but i know he does not like you. he said he wanted to go out with you just so lily can realise that she is in love with him. and i would never let him do that to you. putting you second, you deserve so much better than that. and long story short, i said that you are my girlfriend... yeah."
remus lupin was doing this for you. so that you don't get played. how sweet.
"uhm," you looked down, playing with the hem of your skirt.
"uhm- would you be in for- y'know fake dating... me..?" remus said awkwardly. "it's alright if you don't want to, i'll make some excuses. but please don't agree on going out with james. i don't want you hurt," he whispered the last words. it was half self-indulgent in his part. seeing his the girl he's been pining for years dating his best friend is not a good feeling. but he also doesn't want you to be a second choice. it feels horrible to be. knowing that feeling all to well.
"okay- i guess i can date you," you said shyly. cheeks turning crimson.
"okay- great. we can stop if you don't feel comfortable. don't wanna pressure- just for a few weeks," he said once more.
"it's fine rem, or should i call you honey? or darling? or-" you laughed, seeing his flushed face. he is so adorable. how lucky you are to have him as your 'boyfriend'.
"how can i be a girlfriend?" you asked as you two walked back from the field.
holding hands.
it wasn't in his mind that you would ever hold his hand but you are now. dreams really do come true huh.
"we just keep it normal- i mean like we hold hands, and maybe i will hug you more often, those pda stuffs. remember, only if you're comfortable." such a gentleman he is. he always makes sure that you are comfortable everytime. gosh that gave you the fluttery butterflies.
"okay, i can manage," you giggled.
"y/n- darlin'', can i sit with you during breakfast tomorrow?" remus whispered. you both were sitting on the common room in the corner, the other marauders sprawled a few feet away.
"sure, you can," you smiled softly at him.
he squeezed your hands, resting his cheek on your shoulder. this small action gave you butterflies, the pretty sparks. his face was pressed against the fabric of your soft cardigan, with one of his arm around you.
it's just been three days and you have fallen more in love.
remus on the other hand is trying not to get this too much in his head or he'd go feral. being this close to you and basically cuddling on the couch felt like a fever dream. one that he doesn't want to wake up from.
your silky skin, that periwinkle smile, those wonderstruck lips, angelic face, your incandescent touch, those misty eyes. he loves them all. how could one not? he felt the luckiest in the school for having this. having you with him on a cold friday night under the same fluffy blanket of yours. the smell of you intoxicating his nose. he isn't bothered by it. he enjoyed it.
the most obvious thing in a relationship is display of affection. though it wasn't hard for any of you to do that. remus held your bag, your books, your papers, even the things you can do yourself. he insisted that he had to help you bring them.
and that goes for days. you and remus fake dating.
james was still skeptical about remus sudden relationship. remus was never the one to look for love in his life. well- at least that's what sirius observed.
he couldn't help but look more into details of remus' 'relationship'. he noticed how remus never kissed you in public. or at least when he's in the same room as you and remus are.
"if you've been dating for three weeks now, why haven't you two got in the next step yet?" james squinted his eyes at the both of you. holding hands while studying.
"whatever do you mean by that?" remus questioned.
"like- i don't know kissing..?"
"i do kiss her often," remus replied, shrugging before he squeezed your knuckles, rubbing soft circles.
"how come i've never seen it?" james asked childishly.
"well here. maybe because you don't have to see or know or hear everything about my personal life," remus replied rather coldly.
"i'm starting to think you two are f-"
james' words were cut short as remus' lips locked to yours, wrapping them in a deep kiss.
james let out an "o" sound, walking outside the common room because the tension would be awkward for the three of you.
the moment he stepped out of the room, remus pulled away. eyes brimmed with fear and embarrassment. "sweetheart, i'm so sorry," remus said.
"it's okay remus..." you still haven't processed what had just happened but you sure did kind of enjoyed it.
"um we- we should do that more often. i mean- to make it more real y'know..." he said stiffly. it's not actually about 'making it more real'. he just wanted to kiss you, feel you. he really liked kissing you.
you didn't know what you're getting yourself into. you thought whatever this thing is would only last for two days and then you'll be back in your daydreaming days. but it wasn't. remus is still there.
that goes on for months. the both of you went from holding hands, to kissing, to lean on each other, to more boyfriend and girlfriend things. if you didn't know better, you'd think he's not faking all of this.
hogsmeade trip is coming up, that's the only thing the students are talking about right now. visiting new shops and doing early holiday shoppings. you'd be lying if you said you weren't excited. not only will the village be like a winter wonderland with the snow all over the ground and the roof, but also since remus is going with you for the day.
"you excited, dove?" remus smiled when he met you halfway on the walk to the carriage. he pulls out his gloved hand from his pocket to place it around your back.
you pressed yourself against his warmth, giggling in content. you didn't really have to speak, remus knows.
he kissed the top of your forehead, then guide you to the carriage with some random students.
as the thestrals pulled, you beamed when the snow starts falling down. perfect. everything is so perfect right now. snowflakes fall down your lashes and hair, a sight remus wanted to tattoo in his mind forever.
you had worn make up today, he can visibly see the pinkish shadow in your eyelids. remus couldn't help but admire how pretty your make up looks. how you're so good at doing anything.
your lips were a pink shade close to your natural ones, he wanted to kiss them- give your lips warmth. he was staring at you for so long to the point where he didn't realise that the carriage had arrived.
"it's pretty here! i always love seeing snow on the roof," you smiled brightly at the snow-covered roofs, inhaling the smell of fresh snow falling from the sky.
"they sure are," he agreed, "do you want to go to the cafe for a bit? the ride was cold," he blew his palms.
"of course!"
smell of fresh baked goods filled your nose, contrast to the outside. you two chose a spot near the fireplace, ordering a cup of hot cocoa.
there was a comfortable silence between the both of you. neither really have to talk. you just smiled at each other occasionally, looking around the room after. times like these make your fake relationship feels real.
when you finished your cups of hot cocoa, you two went to honeydukes, buying lots of sweets for the holiday stocks.
remus paid for your chocolates. you insisted on paying them yourself but he refused. dumping his handful of sweets over yours so they were mixed, making it impossible for you to pick yours up.
"rem, you know you can't do this right?"
"why not?" he pouted, "i want to be a good boyfriend after all."
he gave butterflies to your stomach, you hide your visibly burning cheeks on his shoulder, hugging his arm.
he loved that, so much. it feels so real, like you actually love being with him.
then you walked in a bookstore, choosing your read for the month. this time you were paying for him. "you're being so kind, and i love that but let me reciprocate that too!"
remus just nodded in defeat, kissing the crown of your head.
you and remus had a wonderful trip, one that will always be remembered. just before you part your ways, you said, "i've enjoyed the trip a lot. thank you remus for spending the day with me." you yawned, rubbing your eyes. then you kissed him. it was remus who initiates the kisses first, but this time it's you.
he cant help but feel those butterflies inside him again, holding your figure securely. "i'm getting tired, i'll see you tomorrow, love." you kissed him once more before climbing up to the girl's dormitory. leaving remus in utter shock.
maybe you guys aren't fake dating after all. maybe this is real all along. the last time the two of you ever said 'fake' was so long ago. that made him realise that this is real.
oh he can't sleep that night.
the next morning remus was skipping down to the great hall for breakfast with an uncontrolled smile on his face. this morning he woke up earlier, took a warm shower, brushed his hair, and do all things that james potter does.
"you look extra happy today hm?" james questioned, quirking one of his eyebrows up.
"just had a really good date yesterday, so good," remus replied, grabbing a plate of waffles with yoghurt and a bunch of other fruits.
"i didn't know you like kiwis," sirius snorted.
remus rolled his eyes, scoffing, "it's for my girl, look she's coming!" he said shyly, waving his hand for you.
you sat beside him greeting the students around a good morning. "you look- different, did you cut your hair?"
remus laughed, shaking his head.
"oh," you giggled, scrunching your face. remus loves that sight. you look so pretty and adorable every single day, he was so lucky. "you're handsome, y'know," you opted, making his cheeks redder.
"ugh lovebirds," sirius gagged, stuffing his mouth with potatoes.
remus smiled to himself, then he grabbed your fingers, intertwining them together. "here, your breakfast, i cut the waffles so you can eat easier. not that i think you'll have a hard time cutting waffles- you are perfectly capable of doing anything by yourself."
your heart fluttered at his words.
how much of a gentleman he is being! you wished he is your actual boyfriend. the girl that ends up with him must be so lucky.
"thank you so much," you said.
christmas is coming, and there was a party thrown at the gryffindor's common room.
"it's not even christmas yet padfoot," remus stated.
"i know, that's why it's called a pre-christmas celebration party!" sirius cheered as he wrote a letter to one of the firewhiskey store at hogsmeade, ordering boxes of the drink. he also ordered some butterbeer for those who don't drink.
"well you better celebrate cause this is the day where i'm asking lily flower out!" james said happily.
"sure prongs," remus nodded unconvincingly.
"are you enjoying the party?" he came up to you right after your friend was leaving to the bathroom.
"i am! loving the option of butterbeer," you replied.
"you haven't got any drinks?" remus asked.
"nope, i just had a chocolate cake and a butterbeer," you said.
"good good, you don't want to be like sirius or james," he pointed to the both of them. they were dancing on the sofa, jumping like rockstars, holding nonexistent guitars.
you laughed at them before grabbing his hand. "hope you don't mind, getting crowded here."
remus squeezed your knuckles, "i don't mind, you can hold me whenever you'd like."
the the two of your heard a joyous yell from james potter. "lily said yes!" he said to everyone. you can already sense lily's eye roll from there.
"finally!" remus laughed.
but you didn't. what happens now? are you and remus going to stop dating because james will not pick on you anymore or will this be continued.
that night ended with you staring at the ceiling, frowning of whatever's coming.
remus was still his lovely self, he still gives you kisses, hugs you, gets your breakfast ready, and all that sweet things he does.
you on the other hand was sceptical. maybe he just forgot or maybe he didn't know how to tell you. so you did the only thing in your mind. avoiding him little by little as days passed. it's the only way to get this over with as soon as possible before you completely fall for him more and more. like people say 'you've got to leave before you get left'.
remus noticed as days passed. you don't kiss him back anymore. you don't hug his arm. you rarely touch his hand. it was frustrating.
did you really stopped liking him? or was everything just in his head. he couldn't get those thoughts out of his mind. he was feeling less joyful as he usually does.
one evening you saw him alone in front of the fire place, a book open but he was staring at the burning fire. you couldn't help but saw how his beautiful face was forming frown, forehead crinkling and sorrow eyes.
you approached the boy, placing your hand on his shoulder gently.
remus flinched, turning around, "i didn't know you're there." his voice was croaky.
"it's okay, i just got here. are you feeling alright?" you sat beside him, knees touching.
"um i- don't know..?" he replied, his eyes averted back to the fire.
your heart sunk, a part of you knew that this is maybe your fault. you were doing this to him.
"rem, talk to me. maybe i can help."
"you've been distant," he replied. he cringed at how stupid those words sounded.
"i uh-"
"did i do something? i'm sorry, i'm sorry for making you feel that way. if you don't want to be together that's fine and-"
"what are you talking about? remus you didn't do anything wrong!"
"well why are you avoiding me as if our relationship means nothing."
"remus-," you paused, trying to find the words. "we are faking all of this remember?"
"what?" remus asked. you could see the pure shock in his face also a tint of sadness . "i thought we were dating- not fake dating."
"huh? since when?"
"after our hogsmeade date... i'm so sorry for jumping on to conclusions way too fast. i just thought we were together because it felt so real. like just- you and me- we-"
your heart clenched, "what if i told you that it felt real too?" you whispered.
"what do you mean?" he avoided eye contact.
"i love spending time with you. you made that hogsmeade trip so memorable for me. no one has made me feel so- so content. it felt like you- you like me."
"i like you," he replied.
"i like you too," you replied.
he relaxed, a soft smile on his lips. "so you thought we were faking all of this while i'm over here thinking that we are mutually in love?"
you giggled, trying to ignore the part where he said love. "you never asked me to be your girlfriend, how was i supposed to know?"
"okay yes that was my fault, so would you like to be my absolutely-real-not-fake-long-time girlfriend?" remus asked with a cheeky smile.
"i accept your offer as your absolutely-real-not-fake-long-time girlfriend," you replied.
you both laughed, and remus pulled you to his chest as he rest his chin over your shoulder. "remember earlier when i said i like you? scratch that- i love you."
#remus lupin x reader fluff#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin angst#remus lupin fic#remus fluff#remus lupin fluff
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
[Daddies in December] Suna Rintarou
Sorry, I slacked off the last couple of days. The holiday got super busy and honestly, I was going to write for Kakashi but it got toooooooo long and I felt like maybe it should be a story of its own lol. With a few days left in December, I'll try my best to share a few of my other favorite characters, of course, I couldn't leave my favorite boy out. Kept this short but sweet. Happy Christmas (wherever you are depending on the time zone)
Warning: fluff & small description of smut (can you believe I was able to keep it short)
Prequel
.
Every time Rin leaves the house, he has to stop by his Christmas tree and have a moment of silence with the new customized ornament Y/n put up.
They have been married for three years and have spent three years traveling and enjoying their lives as married couples. Both their careers are demanding and it is a cherished moment when they are allowed synchronized time together.
“Can’t wait to meet you,” he murmurs, tapping the ornament frame of an ultrasound picture. “I’ll see you and mommy soon.”
Getting in his sports car, a thought suddenly comes to mind, with a baby on the way, he’ll have to get a car that will be family friendly. He never thought of getting rid of his baby, but with a real baby on the way, he had never felt so excited to go to the car dealership.
But that task would have to wait as he needed to go to the airport to pick Y/n up.
It still makes Rin chuckle about how he had discovered that they were expecting.
Four months ago, they had decided they would try for a baby, to start a family after waiting for a few years. The following month, Y/n went off her birth control and they began trying to conceive.
Rin was a sucker for cumming inside Y/n. He believes he was the most excited when it came to trying to make a baby.
“Rin, enough…” Y/n whispered tiredly. “We don’t have to get pregnant on the first try…”
“I know, but just one more time,” he pressed a kiss to her shoulder, telling her the same thing two times ago. He rolled her onto her back, pushing her thighs wide. He watched his cum ooze out as he slowly stuffs his cock back into her pussy. He was going to fill her up once more.
Sure enough, it must have been that first initial try that made her pregnant right away.
Y/n was a commercial pilot with an odd schedule. Between their careers and schedules, there would be some moments where they wouldn’t see each other for almost five days.
Nonetheless, they made it work and were able to stay in contact with one another through video calls.
Each year at the beginning of December, they would decorate the Christmas trees together. Trees.
When they began dating, Rin had his tree at his place, the same with Y/n. Rin had his tree that stood 7 feet tall while Y/n had her small 5-foot tall tree. They made it their special tradition to exchange ornaments each year.
When they married, neither could agree on which tree they should keep and decided why not keep both?
Rin would decorate his tree while Y/n decorated her tree right beside each other in the designated corner of Rin’s condo. There was one year when Y/n had been upset with Rin and set her tree up on the opposite corner from their usual spot.
And the moment Y/n was off to work, Rin carried and moved her tree next to his, where it belonged.
In their two and half years of dating, he has collected two ornaments from Y/n and added three additional for their three years of marriage. This was going to be their sixth year of the tradition.
But with their conflicting schedule, Y/n was left to decorate her tree first.
Rin had been so exhausted and busy with wrapping up the season of his career that he had not gotten the opportunity to go to the store to pick out his ornament or decorate his tree. By the time he got around to it, it was the middle of December already.
He returned home with a small bag, this year he chose a brown stuffed teddy bear with a red heart on the belly. He was drawn to it and after searching for his options, he settled for that one for no particular reason. It was just calling his name.
Y/n had set up the lights and ribbons on his tree, all he had left to do was to put up the ornaments he received from her throughout the years. He glanced inside the container of each of the ornaments from throughout the years and smiled.
Y/n had told him that she put her new one up on his tree already and had to find it.
He looked all over the tree and couldn’t find the ornament that was labeled 2023 as they always marked the year on it.
Grabbing his phone, he called her.
But his call went to voicemail. He frowned, she should be at the hotel in Austria.
He searched thoroughly until something caught his eye…
Rin’s yellow eyes glowed with the Christmas lights when he found it.
It was sort of hidden further into the tree branches that he got down on one knee, being at eye level with Y/n’s 2023 ornament.
He inhales as he swallows the lump in his throat.
It all clicked in his head that she had placed at the same level as her belly.
His phone rang and he immediately picked it up when he saw Y/n’s picture on his screen.
Neither said a word and he sighed, letting out a chuckle. “Well, that’s one hell of a way of telling me we’re expecting.”
His heart relaxed when he heard her giggle, “finally, took you long enough.”
“I’m sorry, this season was crazy and I just got around to it.” He tapped on the video icon, “let me see you.”
Her face appeared on the screen and Rin felt himself falling in love once again. Had she always had this glow to her? How did he not realize she was pregnant?
“God, you’re so beautiful, I miss you like crazy.”
“Are you only saying that because it took you… sixteen days and eighteen hours and thirty-four minutes to finally discover it?” Her tone was teasing but Rin knew she was half serious. He knew she must have been frustrated that he had not seen it yet. That was his Y/n, she always found a creative way of surprising him and he loved it.
“No. You know that’s not it.” He wiped his face with his hands, still not believing the moment. He reached to touch the ornament, taking it off the branches. “I love it. It is the best one I’ve received from you.”
“Next year, we’ll have to get a baby tree.”
He nodded, with a bright smile. “Yes, we’ll need to get a tree for them.”
. . .
E/n: Some of these daddies' stories, I might branch off and write more... for sure, I think we need to know more about Rin's story hehe
>>> @queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy
#haikyuu smut#haikyu x reader#haikyuu suna#suna smut#suna rintarou smut#suna x you#suna fluff#suna rintarou x y/n#suna rintarou x you#suna rintarou x reader#suna rintaro#suna drabble#suna scenarios#suna fic
552 notes
·
View notes
Text
You Flinch During an Argument -Amajiki Tamaki
A/n: so sorry this took so long! I had a good thing going but my power went out and it got erased </3
I do think this one's better though. Technically this is the third legitimate try <33
Edit: I'm trying out a new format for my info.. is it better or worse O.o
General info:
Wc: 1,176 words | angst to fluff/comfort | Character/s: Tamaki Amajiki
Warnings!: loneliness, snapping, flinching, a little bit of crying. Please let me know if I miss any! <3
Dabi | Hawks | Todoroki Shoto | Bakugo Katsuki | Midoriya Izuku | Shigaraki Tomura | Aizawa Shota | Amajiki Tamaki | Kirishima Eijiro | Shinso Hitoshi
The night was cold as you sleepily flipped through your journal, not wanting to write but knowing you should. The entries from the last three months have been short and filled with a dull ache of lonliness. They lacked the usual length and warmth you poured into the pages, ranting on about how sweet your timid Tamaki is and how much you adore him and his ever lasting warmth.
The rambling would go on and on, but now you wrote a paragraph or two about how your life has been 'fine' and that Tamaki has been super busy- if you wrote at all.
There was one or two that held multiple paragraphs of your frustration and not knowing who to blame- knowing that it wasn't Tamaki's fault that there weren't enough heroes to protect the innocent of your large city.
Tamaki was doing his best to protect the defenseless, and you admired that- but the dull ache that sat in the pit of your stomache couldn't go ignored much longer.
Sighing, you closed your journal, standing up from your desk to head to the living room, deciding to talk to Tamaki tonight.
~~
Four hours later Tamaki walked through the front door, tall form drained from exhaustion as he made his way inside, already stripping off his hero gear.
"Tama?" You call, poking your head out from the living room to sadly smile at your Tamaki.
"Oh. Hey y/n." Tamaki yawned, dropping both his cape and mask onto the floor as he dragged his feet towards your room, tossing his belt onto the kitchen table before moving onto taking off his gear further.
"Wait, Tamaki!" You call, stopping at the bottom of the stairs as Tamaki paused, looking back at you.
"Yes bunny?"
"Ummm.. can we talk?" You ask, smiling at the nickname Tamaki gave you the first week into your marriage- though he later admitted that he thought of it when you two were simply friends but was too shy up until that point-.
"Baby, I'm really tired.. is it important?"
"Yes.. it'll only take five to ten mintues."
"Okay baby, where do you want to talk?" Tamaki yawned.
"How about the living room? I can give you a shoulder massage while we talk if you like." You smile, causing Tamaki's eyes to shine as he smiled down at you.
"I'd like that."
~
After you were both situated you started by squirting some lotion on your hands before spreading it onto Tamaki's left shoulder, immediately noticing his many knots.
"Okay bunny, what did you want to talk about?"
"Oh.. so I know that you're working really hard and are really tired.. and I also know that we haven't had us time in a while.. so I was wondering if you could take a day or two off? Not much, just a day or two would be fine."
Tamaki was silent as you bit your lip in anticipation, hoping you didn't upset him somehow.
"Y/n.. are you serious?"
"Y-yes?"
"Do you know how many people might be dying right now? I can't just laze about spending time with you because you're feeling lonely. Why don't you go hang out with some friends?"
"T-that's not the same.."
"How so?"
"I want to spend time with you Tamaki. You know, my husband?" You scoff, starting to get annoyed.
"And I want to spend time saving people y/n, why don't you stop being sensitve and start thinking about other people?"
"But I've been holding my feelings back for months! Please! I'm just asking for a day- even a few hours is fine!"
"Y/n. No. Now if you're done I'd like to get to bed."
Jerking his shoulder away from your touch, Tamaki started standing up.
"But wait Tama-"
"No. I'm disappointed in your selfishness y/n."
"Wai-"
"Stop."
"Pl-"
"I said stop!" Tamaki hissed, turning around to face you within a second.
At the sudden movement and change of tone you flinched back, tears gathering in your eyes as you stared up at Tamaki, eyes wide.
As Tamaki glared down at you he froze as you flinched, heart immediately breaking as he saw the tears in the corners of your eyes.
"Y-y-y/n I-"
"I-it's okay Tamaki.. you don't need to say anything. I get it. I-I'll just go to bed now."
"B-but y-y/n.." Tamaki whimpered, guilt consuming him as he watched you walk away.
"Y-y/n.. I'm sorry.."
~
You quickly got in bed after hurrying up the stairs, wiping at your eyes as you clung to your pillow, staying as far away from Tamaki's side as possible.
~~
You awoke the next morning to the sun shining in your eyes.
Wincing, you turned around to feel for Tamaki, forgetting all about last night and the dreadful few months.
After feeling how cold Tamaki's side of the bed you sighed, memories coming to you in flashes as you stared at his side of the bed.
Wiping away the stray tears, you got out to get ready for a day worse than the one yesterday.
After getting dressed you made your way down stairs, deciding to get on top of your piling to-do list to help get your mind off of Tamaki.
Stepping into the kitchen, you stepped back at the sight of a lavish breakfast filled with all of your favorites spread across the newly cleaned kitchen table.
"T-Tamaki.." you whimper, looking at your beloved with tearful eyes as he guilty studied you with his indigo orbs.
"Y-y/n I-"
You interrupted Tamaki as you rushed into his arms, clutching the back of his shirt, desperate for comfort from the man you've grown to adore.
"Y/n I- I'm so so sorry." Tamaki mumbled, burying his face into your hair to mask the tears falling from his eyes.
"I forgive you Tamaki, I know you were just over worked and didn't mean to take it out on me."
"I promise you- I really didn't me an to, a-and I feel terrible about it."
"Shhh it's okay baby.. I already forgave you. We just need to reflect on what we did wrong tonight and make sure not to do it in the future. Next time, I'll wait until you're less exhausted, and you'll make sure to remind me that you're too tired, mkay?"
"O-okay.."
"Now baby.. why are you home? Don't you have work?"
"Nope, I took the next two weeks and a half off. I know that it won't make up for the months of loneliness, but I'll try to be better, I"ll take less shifts and make sure to only leave for emergencies when I'm off the clock.
"Alright, that's a good start."
"I may need today and possibly tomorrow to sleep.. but I cleaned the entire house -besides our room- and looked at your to- do list and did a few of the bigger things on there.. oh and I made us breakfast.."
"Tamaki. I love you. So, so much."
"I love you too bunny. I'm really rea-"
"Shh, I already said I forgive you. Now, let's eat!"
~~~
Series' masterlist | Tamaki's masterlist | Navigation
Tips <3
Reblogs help spread and support my work, therefore they help me immensely but any support is appreciated <33
Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way minus reblogging.
#mha#bnha#mha fanfiction#mha x reader#bnha x reader#angst#fluff#mha fluff#mha angst#angst to fluff#comfort#reverse comfort#tamaki#amajiki tamaki#tamaki amajiki#mha tamaki#tamaki x reader#tamaki angst#tamaki x reader angst#tamaki x reader angst to fluff#mha x reader angst#mha x reader you flinch during an argument#bnha x reader angst#bnha x reader you flinch during an argument#tamaki x reader you flinch during an argument#x reader#thehusbandoden
951 notes
·
View notes
Text
How the Cullens would react to you being a newborn
*Note* This is my first ever post please be nice :(
Edward:
Super supportive
Is so so patient
Will teach you everything he knows about self control and how to best curb your hunger
Will go hunting with you every day if that's what you want
He doesn't care if you're dangerous he wants a hug so he's getting a hug
Protective x100
If Jasper still has trouble trusting you after you've mostly gotten yourself under control he will be right there telling him to back off
10/10 would let him turn me into a newborn
Alice:
Again, supportive x100
She deals with Jasper on the daily, she knows how to help with cravings and sporadic behavior
Can easily stop you from things you shouldn't do because she can see them in the future
Would go hunting with you
Would lose her patience after a while if you keep tearing the clothes she buys you tho
(Not actually she'd just be a little frustrated :) )
Would also come to your defense if Jasper or anyone else doubts that you have yourself under control
"I can literally see the future it's fine-"
Jasper:
The worst of them all probably-
He's very tough to get to in the first place
He has a dark past, most of his trauma is from Newborns
He doesn't trust you for a really long time
Super skeptical, will follow your every move ready to hold you down
He's just trying to protect his family tho
You're gonna have to be on your best behavior if you ever want him to trust you again
He'll come around eventually though with the help of his family to show him that you're adjusting well
After he's certain you're no longer a threat he will feel so bad
Cuddles x100
He's just a big softie who loves his family behind those scary eyes
Rosalie:
Ok I lied she might be the worst actually-
If you did this to yourself or had another one of the Cullens turn you chances are she's never gonna talk to you again (sorry)
I mean we all know that she hated Bella's guts until she got pregnant with Renesmee
But if you got turned by accident or by a rogue vampire attack?
Supportive x200
Mama Bear mode activated fr
She remembers what it was like all too well
The pain, the confusion, the anger, the hatred
You couldn't do a single thing wrong in her eyes
You accidentally attacked a hiker? It happens to the best of us
You broke one of the super expensive cars by closing the door too hard? It's ok Carlisle can buy a new one
Can and will defend you if anyone says you're not ready yet
Emmett:
Kinda chill tbh
Obviously since he's the strongest he's with you most of the time to hold you back if need-be
But he's more interested in making bets against anyone who will bet with him
"I smell an elk up ahead, I bet I'll get to it before they can"
"I bet I'll win in an arm wrestling contest"
"I bet they'll scream at Edward for playing that piano too loud"
Mostly is just a good supporter
He's really observant though and is a good judge on if you're ready to be alone yet or not
Esme:
Supportive x100
She hates seeing anyone in pain and you are no exception
Will give you all the tips and tricks she can think of
How to control your cravings, the best animals to hunt, the best places to go to just scream and let it all out
She's got you covered
Wouldn't be that strong of an advocate towards you being ready tho-
She acknowledges that she is not very well versed in this field and will accept Carlisle's or Jasper's judgements very seriously
She will do her best to help you though
Carlisle:
The man for the job fr
He has raised four different newborns that he created mostly all by himself
He knows exactly what to do
How to best help you, how to make sure you feel the least pain possible, how to speed up your process
Literally anything
He's very open to answer any questions you have
If you were dying and he did this to save you he'd be perfectly okay with you wanting nothing to do with him
He understands
It will take a while to fully convince him that you are in control of your urges, but one he's convinced he is on your side 100%
Vampire! Bella:
Definitely the most sympathetic
She was the most recent change, she remembers it the most
Even though she did have her self-control on her side, she still remembers how difficult it was
Will stand by your side no matter what
She's not scared of you or what you could do
To her you're still you
Will do her best to help you with anything you need
Does her best to help give you distractions if there are people nearby
Once she believes you're ready, she will not take no for an answer
She's stubborn
Very good support tho 10/10
#Edward Cullen x reader#Alice Cullen x reader#Rosalie Hale x reader#Rosalie Cullen x reader#Jasper Hale x reader#Jasper Cullen x reader#Carlisle Cullen x reader#Esme Cullen x reader#Emmett Cullen x reader#edward cullen#alice cullen#jasper hale#jasper cullen#emmett cullen#Bella Swan x reader#bella swan#the cullens#the cullens x reader#esme cullen#carlisle cullen
211 notes
·
View notes
Text
is it over now? (was it over then?)
part four
part five: i was hoping you'd be there
Robin managed to keep her shit together for approximately ten minutes after she stopped watching Steve make his way through security and into the depths of the airport. In the ride back to Steve's place, her leg was shaking so much Nancy discreetly grabbed Robin's pinky and held it in the back of the car.
The rest of the trafficky route back to Steve's all Robin could think about was how to fix things. She knew Steve didn't tell her about Eddie so she could fix things and Steve didn't run off to Italy to hide from everything but the situation still bothered Robin. She hadn't known Eddie for a terribly long time but he made her dingus happy so she held him in relatively high regard. It didn't make sense for him to just cut tail and run without leaving some sort of door open for a resolution and Robin was going to her darndest to figure out how on earth she could find that crack.
When they got back to Steve's apartment, Nancy didn't let Robin go long without asking for an explanation.
"Robs, babe, what is going on?" Nancy asked.
"I need to figure out how to solve Steve and Eddie." Robin answered.
"I don't think Steve wants you too. He seemed pretty resolved to close that chapter." Nancy urged.
"I know what he said but that's not what he wants. Also Eddie is a huge dummy if he doesn't realize how good he had it with Steve and also that Steve would never cheat on anyone. Especially not after y'all's whole thing. No offense." Robin continued.
"Okay so we aren't letting this go. What's the plan?" Nancy asked.
"Thanks for your support, love. I just can't figure out why Eddie jumped to the conclusion that you and Steve were together again. I mean no offense but like that ship very publicly sailed," Robin said.
"I'm trying really hard not to take offense but the more often you say it the more I am having trouble not being offended," Nancy snarked.
"Sorry, dingus wormed his way into my little heart long before you so I still gotta give you shit over soulmate solidarity. But back to the matter at hand. Eddie only assumed you would only be visiting Steve if you were trying to get back together when really you were coming to see little old me. So what if I came out. Like what if we came out? And shared some of the pictures from like super early on and thanked Steve for being a great friend for many years when I wasn't ready to take that step," Robin knew she was rambling but, hell, she was on a roll.
"Are you ready for that? I'm happy to take your lead on all this. It's not like we haven't already told everyone who is actually important to us. I mostly write freelance nowadays anyways so there isn't really some big bag corporate overlord I need to worry about. You know Steve doesn't need you to do this? It's one thing if you're ready to come out on your own, it's a whole different thing to do it for someone else," Nancy counseled.
"I really think I'm ready. I'm sick of Steve feeling like he needs to come to everything with me and you're stateside a lot more often and I'd love to go out on dates without the next day having like a million articles speculate if you're trying to move in on Steve. I think it's time," Robin rationalized.
"All right, then. We're doing this. Should we use this as an excuse to make Jon take cute couple pictures of us?" Nancy giggled a little at her suggestion.
"Yes! Perfect. Get him over here. Operation Save Dingus from his Self Sacrifice is a go!" Robin jumped up on the couch to make her point and Nancy immediately had to come to her aid as she wobbled enough to lose her balance.
Robin was excited. She was ready for the next step with Nancy and if it helped Steve get out of his own head and/or convinced a certain metalhead with very few remaining braincells to get his head out of his ass then so be it. Robin couldn't wait to think of all the sappy shit Nancy would pretend to be annoyed at she'd be able to do now. Steve would be back in a few weeks so Robin anxiously awaited Jon's response and started several caption ideas in her notes app.
part six
@lololol-1234 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @zombiethingy @grtwdsmwhr @dreamercec @anne-bennett-cosplayer @strawberryyyenthusiast @mensch-anthropos-human @kal-ology @ttyrussss @kristmkris @starman-jpg @wonderland-girl143-blog @child-of-cthulhu @legalmenace87 (if you wanna be tagged in future parts feel free to comment! happy to add people)
it's not quite fixed yet but we are getting so close!!!
#steve x eddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie fic#steddie#don't worry robin will fix it#angst#angst with a happy ending#rockstar eddie#actor steve#was it over then ficlet
189 notes
·
View notes
Text
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ how you got together - inumaki x reader
bullet pointed scenario
genre: fluff, f2l
wc: 1.2 ish
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ an: hii this is my first jjk fic!! this might be the only thing i ever post LOLL currently ignoring my massive hiatus on my kpop blog T_T anywayss i wrote this super quickly its prob not the best ;p
i feel like toge would be the type of person to have you make a lot of the first moves
like when you guys were just stupidly pining friends, he made it pretty obvious that he liked you but wanted you to actually confess verbally
it was mostly because he didn't want such a big milestone of starting your relationship to be texted or written by him but maybe like 20% of it was because he likes to be annoying
he's a little shit so if your the type of person to wait on the other person to make a move, good luck! because he’s making you do it
like there was a point were he was certain about both of ur feelings being mutual so he’d just play it up by being really touchy, making it obvious that he wanted to be right next to you, always clinging to you, etc.. you know,, making it obvious that he really does like you
but poor you because you were spending your time overthinking eveything. maybe he was just really touchyyy!! maybe he's extra comfortable around you!!! (i wonder why.)
it was actually driving your friends insane tho
maki’s last straw was during a training session out on the field, her and panda were sparring as you and inumaki watched on the steps
inumaki, as usual, was glued to your side, hands toying with the fabric of your long sleeve uniform
as maki landed her last hit on panda, you got up with their water bottles and ran them over to your two friends
toge followed closely behind, still attached to your sleeve
you were balancing both of the bottles in one arm since the other was being occupied as toges leash of some sort, but you approached the other two like nothing was out of place
this sight wasn't anything new to panda or maki so they kept their scoffs and eye rolls internal. it was mostly just driving them crazy that neither one of you had made a move. it was obvious you both liked each other so why aren’t you guys doing anything about it??
“nice one, maki!” you cheered as the two grabbed their respective waters, toge let out an ingredient of affirmation as well
“ah, that was nothing” she proudly boasted, part of it directed as being a playful jab toward panda. she glanced down at inumakis hand attached to the end of your sleeve as he seemingly refused to be more than a few inches apart from you
“anyways,, im planning on grabbing lunch after this, yn, you coming with?” maki turned towards you
“sure!! i didnt have any plans,” you mused and you and maki set off and away from the field, toge still trailing behind as if following you was the obvious route to go
“just me and yn today, inumaki. sorry man,, go do something with panda” maki had no problem brushing off your friend, she was trying to get you alone which was something that seemed more rare as days go by (cough cough toge let maki have some time with her friend)
he laughed and backed away in compliance before giving your shoulder a quick squeeze as the four of you split off
once he was out of earshot, maki finally groaned
“you need to make a move already, its so frustrating watching you two cling to each other without doing anything about it” she complained as you felt your face heat up
you were well aware of toge’s touchiness and couldn't ignore his potential intentions behind it,, but yet there was this looming fear of actually enacting a confession that stopped you from going further
“do you think he really likes me?” you asked pathetically. anyone’s answer would’ve been a loud yes,, but you still felt like you had to ask maki for some semblance of confidence
she stared at you, an incredulous look breaching her face
“i cant believe you're asking me that question” she scoffed out a laugh, “but since you need to hear it. yes, toge inumaki is one hundred percent in love with you”
she left it at that, causing a permanent fluster to torment you for the rest of lunch
your lunch with maki had left you a little more confident about where you stood with toge, however. she had begged you to do something about it soon, claiming she couldn’t bear to witness any more pining
you had to do something about it soon or else you’d continue to sleep on her advice, overthink it, and never do anything about your problem,,,, it was now or never
you shot a text over to toge and waited on a nearby bench on school grounds
a few minutes passed with you spending them painstakingly fumbling with your phone case, picking off the stickers that were already on their last leg
there were so many times within those short seven minutes where you debated sending a ‘never mind! something came up’ to him
he finally showed up fairly quickly, joining the spot next to you on the bench
immediately discerning your nervous state, he placed a hand over yours
his action didn't do much for your nerves but it gave a little more hope that your confession would have a good outcome
(you were painfully unaware that no matter what you did, you had a 100% success rate)
he voiced his concern, squeezing your hand as you turned to face him
it felt like your heart was about to explode out of your chest but you had to rip the bandaid off
meeting his concern gaze, you finally said it
“i like you”
okay
maybe not the smoothest confession,, but given your anxiety over the situation, it was a miracle it was even said
all toge did in response was reach up to cup your cheek and smile
his single expression gave you the answer you so desperately needed
pouring all his love and admiration into one expression, you hadn’t realized this was always how he had been looking at you
wordless communication though gazes and lingering touches had always been the way he was allowed to express himself
you had been overlooking it for too long, too caught up in your own mind to see the way he gazed at you like you were the only thing he ever needed to focus on, worthy of his attention at any moment you needed it
your heart melted on sight as you leaned into to press a kiss on his lips
it was sweet, brief but not hasty. toge had always been good at placing his emotions into his actions and he made sure you felt everything he was feeling
the two of you parted before you leaned back in to place two more kisses, one on each side of his mouth where his seals were placed
he leaned in to your touch, pulling you in for a hug. as he buried his face in your neck, he breathed out a sigh that wordlessly expressed ‘you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting for this’ and you laughed into his hair
it might've been way overdue, but he’s here now in your arms, this time without the weight of wondering if your feelings were truly requited
oh an maki just got a text from panda of a blurry, zoomed in image of the two of you on the bench together from the distance
“fucking finally” -maki
#inumaki x reader#toge x reader#inumaki toge#inumaki fluff#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jujustsu kaisen x reader#inumaki x you#jjk scenarios#jjk imagines#toge x you
337 notes
·
View notes
Text
→ Chapter Twelve: All in Blue Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Werewolf!Jimin, Witch!Reader, Shifter!Reader, Shifter!Jimin, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha!Jimin Genre: Supernatural!AU, Werewolf!AU, Angst, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Smut, Word Count: 21.2k+ Synopsis: Within the four realms of Lustra lay the Bangtan forest home to the Foxglove pack of the south and known as the “land of magic.” It is also home to the Bridd, a powerful witch from a cursed bloodline who is one of the sacred guardians of the forest. Y/N is the newest Bridd, a young girl who was given her position too early. Now a woman, Y/N is revered amongst the wolves as the most powerful witch they have ever known, but hiding under the surface is a woman who has to battle between her duty and her heart. Warnings: frenemies dynamic, PTSD, nightmares, guilt, shame, Bridd isn't doing very well mentally, bickering, I loved Lily, Lily is such a stupid jerk and I love her for it, near death experience, flashbacks, minor character deaths, violence, blood, strong language, everyone at this point needs a hug, homesickness, illness, major character injured, trauma bonding, they definitely have a big-sis-little-sis dynamic going on, sarcasm, everyone in the fic has my sense of humor and I'm sorry I'm not funnier, fire magic, this is one of the more "boring" chapters depending on who you ask, mostly traveling and small arguments, until something changes, I just really like their dynamic and wanted to showcase it a lot, psychosis, learning more about Lustra's history, dumb bird jokes because why not?, I think that's it, let me know if I missed anything... A/N: I'm super ahead for TTW right now, and because of the long hiatus I thought posting an extra chapter before the year was over was a great present to those who love this story as much as I do.
prev. || masterlist || next
The days blurred together as we trudged through the forest. I couldn't tell when one ended and the next began—just this constant rhythm of exhaustion as we pushed on toward the mountains. The trees stretched high above us, thick and ancient, their branches weaving into a dark canopy that barely let in any light. Everything below was muted in mossy green, an eerie half-light that felt alive.
Every step felt heavier than the last, the path twisting in ways that kept us on edge, making every mile harder to bear. The silence between Lily and me only made it worse. It was a silence filled with tension, our brief moments of peace fragile enough to break—and sometimes they did. We’d snap at each other, sharp and heated, until there was nothing left but the hollow feeling that came after a fight. Then we’d go back to walking, simmering with everything we hadn’t said, unable to let it go.
Lily was a hurricane. Fierce, chin high, baby blue eyes blazing—she threw words like knives when she was mad enough. Never below the belt, but always enough to sting. And I was no better. I met her glare for glare, word for word, each exchange becoming a contest we both needed to win. It was like striking a flint, both of us desperate to spark something—just to feel anything besides the numbness that the blurred days brought us. But when the arguments faded, I’d catch a glimpse of something softer in her.
If I had a cough, she’d make me tea from whatever plants and herbs she could find. When I was tired, she’d insist we stop and rest. If I got stuck, eyes glazed over, flames and screams dancing across my vision like I was back home, she’d ask me what color the sky was, and we’d play I-Spy for a few hours.
It wasn’t all bad, but I could say with almost complete certainty that we were two hotheads trying our best to bite our tongues before we started another round of bickering.
The forest only made the tension worse. Shadows seemed to shift around us, almost as if they were laughing at our arguments, at our hopeless journey. I’d wondered a few times if it was the fae and their games. It wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for them, and very few were able to come out of the Hollow Below without first being summoned. The thought of them laughing at us only made me angrier, and my irritation would rise.
Unfortunately for me, Lily was far better at quick-witted insults, and I’d end up stewing alone, back to the campfire, pretending to sleep.
Each night, we’d set up camp with an invisible line drawn between us, both unwilling to cross it. The fire would flicker in the gap between us—warm, but never enough to thaw the wall we’d built. Yet, in those rare moments, when she looked at me without the bite in her eyes, it felt different. Softer. Like maybe I wasn’t as alone as I thought.
I’d never asked her how old she was, but the few strands of silver in her black hair, the smile lines, and crow's feet told me she might be around Yoona or Thelma’s age. All of us lived long lives, witches the longest of the three, but I’d heard hybrids and shapeshifters had similar lifespans. Hybrids lived slightly longer since shifting took so much energy and strength.
I hoped that made Jimin and me evenly matched. I couldn’t imagine living a single second longer than him, and I was certain if I went first, he’d follow me soon after. Wolves couldn’t live without their mates. The thought of Jimin dying made me far more upset than I already was, so I pushed that thought to the back of my mind.
Finally, after days of endless trees and winding trails, the Ozryn Mountains appeared, jagged and dark against the horizon—so close, but still so far. Progress.
I looked over at Lily and found her already smiling back at me. Her smile softened her face, making her look so much younger. Her dimples shone prettily in the light, the diamond studs a soft baby pink. Her gold teeth hit the sun, and my eyes immediately locked on the two ruby gems on the other side of her mouth. Lily said she got them done as repayment for helping a jeweler’s family get their supplies back from a couple of thieves in Whopping. Reds and pinks were her favorite colors, and I thought they looked nice. She was a beautiful woman despite her scarring and less-than-appealing attitude.
“We won’t have much cover going through the desert,” she told me, her voice raspy. “We’ll need to stay vigilant. Keld’s Landing will be the next forest before we’re in the tundra.”
I nodded. “We’ll make it.”
Lily hummed and continued walking.
One afternoon, we came to a fork in the road, the trail splitting into two narrow paths. Lily glanced down one and nodded, her voice crisp and unwavering. “We take the left,” she said, pointing toward the path that disappeared into a curve. Her tone was clipped, like it wasn’t up for debate.
“No,” I said, feeling the familiar frustration build. I pulled out the map, unfolding it with more force than necessary. “The right leads straight to the mountains.” The paper crinkled loudly as I jabbed a finger at the marked trail.
The sun was beaming down, scorching the back of my neck. The desert wasn’t like the ones I’d heard of in Idris—not blisteringly hot, but with tall rocky cliffs, massive hills we had to climb through and around, and most of the paths covered in thick layers of red dirt and sand. We’d found the current path using the map in my hands, and it made Lily’s stubbornness even more frustrating. The map was obviously useful.
She crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing as she looked at me. “I’ve been this way before,” she said, her voice cold, dismissive. “The left is safer. Trust me.”
“And I’ve got the map,” I shot back, shaking it slightly for emphasis. We stood there, a silent standoff brewing between us, neither of us willing to back down.
I took a deep breath, trying to keep my voice steady. “The right is quicker. We’ll save time.”
Her gaze didn’t waver. “Maybe, but it’s a mess of dead ends and loose rocks. Do you want to make this harder? Don’t be naive, Y/N.”
My heart pounded, and my breathing grew shallow. I was going to explode if she kept this up. I wasn’t stupid.
“You were fine with the map before,” I argued.
“Because we weren’t sure where we were. I am now. The right trail is slightly faster, but there are rock warnings posted everywhere, and we’ll end up having to cut through even more dangerous areas trying to avoid the cliffs.”
I looked down at the map, doubt gnawing at the edges of my resolve. The lines blurred, exhaustion clouding my vision, and I glanced back at her, at her determined expression, her jaw set as if daring me to challenge her. Reluctantly, I felt my resolve waver.
“Fine,” I muttered, tucking the map away with a sigh. “We’ll go left. But if we get lost, it’s on you.”
A hint of satisfaction flickered in her eyes, and her tone softened. “We won’t get lost.”
The path was steep, lined with large, dead trees that closed in tighter as we moved. The silence still hung between us, but I could tell Lily was trying to soften me. She’d offer a hand when the trail got rough, and her voice lost a bit of its bite when she passed me a piece of bread. It didn’t help soften my resolve.
Call it pride or stubbornness, but I didn’t like being talked down to.
One night, we stopped to camp under a sky full of stars, the fire casting flickering shadows across the clearing. The cavern was still, the quiet wrapping around us, but for once, it didn’t feel heavy. We sat across from each other, tired and sore, but the silence didn’t press down on us the way it usually did.
The firelight danced in Lily’s eyes, and for a brief moment, there was no hardness, no anger—just the two of us, two people stuck together on a journey neither of us could make alone. It was strange, almost surreal, like some part of me had been waiting for this moment, for the quiet to settle between us without all the tension.
Lily’s voice broke the silence, softer than I was used to. “I can’t believe I’m doing this all over again,” she muttered, her hands busy stacking more firewood. There was something weary in her tone, a softness that hadn’t been there before.
I leaned back, feeling the ache of the day’s travel settle into my bones. “You’re better at it than I am,” I said, a faint smile tugging at my lips.
She shot me a look, her eyes narrowing, but there was a glimmer of humor there. “Flattery won’t get you out of it next time,” she said, tossing a log onto the fire. The flames crackled, sending warmth into the cold night air.
I sighed, settling onto my bedroll as the warmth of the fire seeped into me. The sounds of the forest surrounded us—leaves rustling, faint calls in the distance, and bugs chirping. It felt almost peaceful.
“Can I be honest with you for a moment?”
I rolled my eyes, trying to keep the ire from my voice. That always meant she was going to say something that pissed me off. And she knew it. It was why she always tried to pretend it was in the name of honesty.
Really, it was her catch-all phrase for saying whatever she felt like and then acting all high and mighty when I got angry.
“Why ask?” I couldn’t keep the bitterness out of my voice, no matter how hard I tried. “It’s never stopped you before.”
Lily’s voice came again, hesitant, in a way that caught me off guard. “Look, I don’t like arguing with you any more than you do,” she said, her gaze fixed on the flames. “We’re stuck together, whether we like it or not. So... I’ll try to cool it. But I need you to work with me.”
I scoffed, the words coming out before I could stop them. “You act like I’m the one who always starts it,” I snapped, irritation flaring up again. “Or should I remind you about how you caused this entire attitude issue you’re so mad about?”
Lily raised an eyebrow, folding her arms as her face hardened. “Oh, really?” she said, her tone thick with disbelief. “Care to explain that one?”
I felt the sting of her words, sharper than I wanted to admit. “You called me stupid,” I threw back, the memory still fresh and bitter. “I was trying to help, and you just... dismissed me. Didn’t even bother to apologize.”
She rolled her eyes, her voice sliding into that condescending edge that always got under my skin. “I did not call you stupid. I called you naive. There’s a difference. You’re out of your depth, and you’re too stubborn to admit it. If you’d just listen to me—”
“Naive, stupid—what’s the difference?” I shot back, getting to my feet, anger bubbling up. “You act like I don’t know anything, like I haven’t seen things, lived through things. You’ve known me for what, two weeks? You don’t know anything about me.”
For a split second, something shifted in her expression. The firelight flickered across her face, and her eyes softened, the harshness slipping away. “Then tell me,” she said quietly. “I can’t know if you don’t tell me.”
Her words lingered, raw and open, hovering between us. And for a second, I almost told her. Almost let it all spill out—the fears, the doubts, the parts of me I kept locked away. But the words tangled in my throat, too heavy, too real. I looked away, feeling the anger drain out of me, leaving only a dull ache behind.
“I need some air,” I muttered, turning before she could stop me, before she could ask me anything else.
“Wait,” she called after me, but I was already slipping into the darkness beyond the firelight, letting the shadows of the cliffs close around me.
A few minutes later, I was flying.
The days that followed were rough, each one feeling heavier than the last. Every step through that desert felt harder than the one before. We barely spoke, and when we did, the words were clipped, bordering on shouting each time we opened our mouths. Silence was easier than trying to find the right words—easier than pretending we were more than just two people stuck together out of necessity. It felt like a chasm had opened between us, growing wider each day.
But even in the silence, there were still those small moments that showed we still cared, even if we refused to say it. When the path got rough and I stumbled, her hand would still reach out, steadying me before I fell. When a fallen branch blocked our way, I’d offer my hand to help her over it. These moments were rare, but they were good reminders that we were still in this together. Whether we liked it or not.
The desert slowly began to give way, sand turning to dirt and mud, dying grass making way for glimpses of the Ozryn Mountains in the distance. They loomed closer, their dark, jagged peaks stark against the sky. We were getting closer, and I could already begin to smell the pine in the distance. We’d reach Keld’s Landing first, and then we’d finally be in the danger zone.
I was just as terrified as I was relieved.
Of course, the peace couldn’t last long. As we walked through the ever-thickening forest, I was thrown by the twists and turns the paths took—paths my map couldn’t always account for. I knew they were old, but how old didn’t really hit me until I found myself relying more on Lily’s judgment than the piece of parchment in my hands.
Then, we finally found a path that did line up with my map, and I was more than happy to jump at the chance to be useful. I stopped walking, looking up from the map. The path split into two directions, winding off into thicker areas of forest. We were still just barely on the outskirts, the aspens few and far between, many of them missing their pines. Lily stopped, studying the paths, her eyes narrowed.
I had a feeling we were about to have another argument and prepared myself to be willing to back off. Lily had been the bigger person during our last real spat, and I needed to learn to calm things down, too.
“Right,” she said firmly, her voice leaving no room for debate.
I took out the map, already feeling the tension coil between us. “This says left.”
She crossed her arms, her tone challenging. “I’ve been here before. The right path is safer.”
It only took a second for the argument to erupt, our voices bouncing off the trees, sharp and heated. But as we argued, something else crept in, a realization that was harder to ignore. We were fighting over nothing. I knew this map wasn’t the most reliable, and truthfully, Lily wasn’t saying anything to warrant my bad attitude. She was just trying to guide us—the only reason we were even traveling together. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to hold back the worst of my temper, even though I wanted nothing more than to tell her how right I was and how wrong she was.
Not to mention, we’d just had this fight a week ago.
“Fine,” I said, forcing the word out, each syllable heavy. “We’ll go right.”
She looked at me, surprise flickering across her face. “Thank you,” she murmured, her voice barely more than a whisper.
We kept moving, the path winding through the ever-thickening forest. The grass was becoming greener, the trees fuller and more closely packed together. We were still a few miles out of Keld’s Landing, but I had a feeling we would get through it soon enough. If we were lucky, we could stay inside the forest long into the mountains, as it crossed throughout the southern regions of Ozryn. We’d have to cut across and start heading southeast eventually, but the trees would help protect us from the harshest winds the mountains had to offer.
That night, we made camp as stars began to prick through the deepening dusk. The silence between us wasn’t tense or uncomfortable; it was just... quiet. The fight from earlier was forgotten, and honestly, I didn’t have the energy or the desire to rehash it. We were adults—we needed to start acting like it. Liking each other was secondary to our mission. The fire cast warm light over us, softening Lily’s face. She looked more tired than I remembered, and a pang of guilt settled in my chest for the way I’d acted sometimes. Especially when it really didn’t matter who was right or wrong.
We were both going to the same place, and she was right—I was being naive and stupid if I thought I knew everything about surviving out here.
“Thank you,” I said quietly, each word carrying more weight than I intended.
“What for?”
I turned to look at her, her eyes staring into the flames. I wondered what she saw in them. I knew what they did to me. Some nights, I’d have to sleep as far away from the smoke as I could or else I couldn’t sleep. Cordelia would visit me in those moments, her eyes far away, that awful look on her face. Then I’d start to smell blood, and I’d need to get as far away from camp as I could without worrying Lily. I hoped nothing as horrible as that haunted her.
With the way she spoke about Duke, though, I wasn’t so sure.
“For putting up with me,” I sighed. “I’ve always been difficult and hard-headed. I’m just sorry you’re the one who has to deal with it.”
She glanced up at me, her eyes warm, a soft smile spreading across her face. “You don’t have to thank me. Let’s just get through this. Together.”
I nodded, and in that moment, something shifted inside me—a tiny ember of hope, barely there but undeniably real. It wasn’t much, but right now, it was enough.
“No need to apologize either,” she rasped, turning her gaze back to the fire. “I’m responsible for my own behavior, and I know I’m not the most accommodating. We’ll learn to get used to each other.”
“Don’t think we really have a choice.”
We both laughed softly.
The fire burned low, casting long shadows, and the forest around us was quiet, a peace settling over it that matched the calm between us. As Lily drifted off to sleep, I stayed by the fire, watching the embers glow in the darkness.
I thought of home, the wet grass and how it tickled my feet in the spring. The first time I met Yoongi. He was so small and tiny back then. A late bloomer, Aldara had called him. I couldn’t have been more than six at the time, and Yoongi was eight or nine. He’s only two years younger than Wendy and Jin, but at the time you’d have sworn we were the same age.
His hair was long, almost to his mid-back, puffing up in frizzy waves that floated everywhere. He was always shyer than me, but I remember the moment we locked eyes and how quickly I knew he’d be in my life forever. I chuckled to myself.
I had liked him when we were younger, but between Wendy and Nixie, I knew I didn’t want to push the boundaries of our friendship. The older I got, the more I saw him as a brother—the same way I saw Jin. Jimin’s reappearance in my life helped too. It was impossible to be in love with anyone else when those eyes locked on mine for the first time since that Yule night.
Yoongi knew, of course. Yoongi always knew everything. We talked about my crush and both came to the same conclusions. It was easy to fall in love with someone when you didn’t have any other options. That’s when he first told me about him and Delta. I never would’ve guessed Yoongi liked boys, but I also never would’ve thought he’d sneak around with Wendy’s sister behind her back.
God, the entire circle was so messed up. I hoped everyone was alright. I always kept them in check, and without that balance, I worried about how Jin would handle things.
Staring at the sky, I rolled my eyes. That boy…
He was like my little brother despite being four years older. We met when Hyolin came to the house to introduce herself to me. Jin always treated me like a pest back then, but that changed after I brought Wendy around a few years later. Things started with him using me to get closer to Wendy, but our friendship became more genuine than any other relationship he had. He had a bullying streak with Yoongi at the best of times due to his jealousy, and he was known to be selfish and immature even when he swore he wasn’t.
Wendy brought out the worst in him.
She always said it’s why she couldn’t stand being his girlfriend for more than a few weeks. He was suffocating and so hyper-fixated on the past that he couldn’t see what they had. When we were younger, in our teens, I laughed in her face and told her there wasn’t a past if she was still in love with Yoongi. Now, I felt for her more than I ever thought I could. They were both insanely selfish and put Yoongi in the middle of everything, but Wendy had always been clear and firm when it came to Seokjin. He just didn’t know when to quit, and she went out with him because it was easier than breaking his heart.
Love always had its way of complicating even the strongest of friend groups, and ours was no exception. It was a shame, really. We were always so good with one another back then...
When I left, it seemed like things were better between them this time around, but I knew things neither of them did. Things that would tear everything apart if they even heard the slightest whisper of it.
I didn’t know if Wendy could forgive Yoongi and me for keeping it from her, and I knew Jin would pick her side if it meant keeping her around. Nixie’s marriage could be at risk since many humans still held to the tradition of a woman being a virgin when wed, and Delta would be in a tight spot if word got out about him being gay. If it got back to his father, he’d risk losing his home.
Syrena was one of the least progressive parts of the magical world next to Foxglove. Even Viridi Gramine had more progress, and wolves were known for being as misogynistic and homophobic as they come. I hoped Yoongi was staying safe.
And Jimin, and Taehyung, and Callisto, and Mi-Jeong, and Hoseok, and Hyuna; and Yoona, and Enver, and Thelma; and...
I sighed, turning on my side. I needed to stretch my wings. My head was too crowded right now.
As the sky deepened into purples and golds, I got to my feet, drifting away from the fire until the shadows of the forest swallowed me up. I glanced back once, just to be sure—Lily was already asleep, her breathing steady, her shoulders rising and falling in a calm rhythm that was, oddly, comforting. A small smile tugged at my lips—part relief, part guilt. It was better this way, safer for her not to see this part of me.
It wasn’t that I thought she’d run off into the forest screaming, but I knew if she saw what I could do, she’d figure out what I was immediately. I was supposed to be dead, if the whispers from our time in those small human towns throughout Clarcton were anything to go by, and I wasn’t sure what an enemy would be able to get out of her if we were separated. I wasn’t ready to risk that. She didn’t need to know yet.
Maybe later, when things were calmer and we were closer to the mountains, I’d let her know. Out here, I was too afraid of who or what might see us together. Even if I didn’t particularly care for her, I didn’t want anything bad to happen to her either. Secrets were safer. I think she’d understand. I was sure she had a few of her own.
With the moon high in the sky, I walked further and further away from camp. My heart felt heavy, and I didn’t really feel like doing much of anything, but I hoped feeling the breeze against my feathers would help soothe my growing headache. Finally, when I looked back and found that I could no longer see Lily, I relaxed and closed my eyes.
The transformation started slowly, like a ripple through my bones, a tingling that spread over my skin, a strange sensation that felt both sharp and ticklish. My bones felt like they were hollowing out, my skin prickling as feathers began to push through, soft and light, spreading across my arms as they stretched out into wings. My senses sharpened—the night seemed to grow brighter, the scent of the forest more vivid, the air more alive around me. The world grew bigger as I felt myself shrinking.
It felt so gentle and soft compared to the torturous process it used to be. It felt freeing.
Then, in an instant, I shifted—wings stretched wide, reaching into the night, ready to lift me. With one strong push, I took flight. The wind rushed past me, cool and crisp, and I kawed loudly into the silent night sky. So far, we hadn’t seen many birds in this area, and I wasn’t in the mood for socializing.
The first few flaps were exhilarating, my wings catching the air as I ascended higher, the forest below shrinking until the trees looked like tiny clusters of dark green. I let out a long whistle of joy, the sound escaping me unbidden, a sound so colorful and filled with so many different calls and notes that I wasn’t sure any passing bird could understand what was happening. The moon hung above me, round and silver, lighting my path, and I felt weightless, the cool night air rushing over my feathers as I twisted and turned. The stars above seemed close enough to touch, like a blanket of glittering diamonds spread across the sky, and I reveled in the vastness of it all.
I swooped low, skimming the treetops, the tips of my wings brushing the highest branches, sending a few leaves fluttering to the ground below. I darted upward again, spiraling in a lazy circle, my wings catching the wind and carrying me higher, spinning until the world blurred beneath me in shades of green and silver. There was a wildness in my heart that matched the thrill of the wind beneath my wings, a giddy kind of joy that I hadn’t felt in a long time.
I raced the wind, diving down, then soaring up again. I glided over a small clearing, the grass glowing faintly under the moonlight. The air was cool, carrying with it the scent of pine and damp earth, and I breathed it in deeply, filling my lungs, feeling the cold in my hollow bones.
It didn’t bother me. This body could handle the chill better than my human one. I whistled again and dove down.
I darted between the trees, my wings folding close as I twisted through narrow gaps. There was nothing like this—nothing like the rush of the air against me, the world opening up beneath me, limitless and wide. I spun and twirled, playing with the wind, my heart soaring with every beat of my wings. For this moment, nothing else mattered. I was alive, and the world was mine.
Then, without warning, I glanced back up at the moon and thought of silver hair, and all that joy began to ebb.
My thoughts began to drift, unbidden, to Jimin. I could almost see his face in my mind—his laughter, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, that soft smile that always seemed to hold so much warmth. I thought of the way he’d hold me, his arms strong and comforting, his voice low as he whispered dreams of a future that now felt so far away.
The ache was sharp and hollow, and as the wind carried me higher, it seemed to grow, pressing into my chest until it was all I could feel. I missed him—missed him so much it hurt. I missed the quiet moments, the simple comfort of just being by his side. I let out a cry, sharp and raspy, swallowed by the wind as I banked, gliding above the treetops. I wished, with every part of me, that I could turn back to him, fly straight into his arms, tell him I loved him one more time.
But I couldn’t. Not yet. Not while there was still so much to be done. I thought of the others—of my family and friends who I had left behind without much thought on that night. They had trusted me to take this path, to do what needed to be done, and I could only hope they understood—that they didn’t see my absence as abandonment. I was sure Yoongi and Wendy would understand. The elders as well. It was Jin and Taehyung I worried most about. They were both too sensitive and took most things to heart—even when they didn’t need to.
Jin would grow angry and revert back to that childish and angry boy I knew when I was fifteen. Taehyung… it was difficult to say. I knew him well enough, but I didn’t think anyone would allow him to wallow and cry for very long. It was unbecoming for their new Chief, and I had to imagine how frustrated and alone he would feel.
His mate went behind his back. His friend left him without much of a goodbye. The only reason people wanted him to come back was to make Sol happy. There was much on his plate, and I worried no one was there to hold him up. At least, no one he would really want to be there for him right now.
I hoped, at the very least, he and Namjoon were able to make up.
My wings beat steadily, carrying me over the dark expanse of the forest, the grass stretching endlessly below. I flew on, my heart heavy, the weight of longing pressing down on me. And yet, even in the sadness, there was something else—fierce determination. I would find my way back. One day, I would fly not just for the joy of it, but to return home, to the people who meant everything to me.
That one day came closer with each step we took towards those mountains.
With a sigh, I turned, folding my wings and gliding back toward our camp. The ground rose up to meet me, and I landed softly, feeling the transformation reverse itself—feathers vanishing, bones solidifying, skin reforming. I took a deep breath, letting it settle. But as I straightened up, I froze.
Lily was standing at the edge of the clearing, staring at me, her eyes wide. For a second, neither of us moved, the forest around us holding its breath. My heart pounded in my chest, a mix of fear and something else I couldn’t name.
“You’re... a Bridd?” she whispered, her voice barely a murmur, filled with a mix of disbelief and wonder.
I swallowed, panic clawing at my throat, but I forced myself to stay calm. “Yes,” I said quietly, almost apologetic. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“It’s fine,” she whispered back, her eyes still wide. Her hair was down now, her hood tossed aside, exposing her ears. Looking at them now, it felt silly to keep this part of my life away from her. Even if she was captured—the elves would be more excited about her death than mine. I was a threat because of my magic. Lily was an abomination of nature according to their laws. Guilt ate away at me like a rabid dog. “Why didn’t you say something sooner? This is…”
She trailed off, not finishing her sentence.
“It’s... not something I share easily. Or ever. Everyone I’ve ever known was aware. It didn’t feel all that important,” Then, because I knew I was partially lying, I threw in the real reason. “And I was nervous about one of us being captured. Didn’t think it would be good for you to see me.”
There was a silence, thick and heavy. My heart was lodged somewhere in my throat as I waited, bracing for whatever reaction might come. I couldn’t help but notice the way Lily’s black fox ears twitched, peeking out from beneath her hair, her big, fluffy burnt orange tail slowly unfurling behind her as she processed what I had said. Her eyes, wide with a mix of awe and curiosity, never left mine.
Her expression softened, awe giving way to something else—something almost... respectful. She took a step closer, her tail swishing slightly, her gaze unwavering.
“That’s... incredible,” she said, her voice filled with genuine wonder. Her ears perked up, her usual guarded demeanor slipping away, replaced by something far more open and intrigued. She moved a little closer, her curiosity evident.
“How does it work?” she asked, her tone brightening with interest. “Can you just... shift whenever you want?”
I exhaled, letting go of some of the tension that had built up inside me. Her ears twitched as she waited for my answer, her tail swaying in slow, steady arcs. “Yes,” I replied. “It wasn’t always like that, but... yeah, I can shift whenever.”
Lily nodded, her ears tilting slightly as she took in my words. She seemed thoughtful, her eyes still wide with wonder. “But…How? When?” She shook her head, stepping closer to me, her tail wagging. “How?”
“It’s a long story,” I scratched the back of my neck, moving towards the fire. It was cold out here, and I no longer had feathers to insulate my body. “But the shortened version is I died and came back to life.”
“I can’t imagine…,” she murmured, her gaze softening. Her fox tail brushed against her leg, the fur catching the moonlight as she shifted her weight. “You had to be desperate. Are you alright now?”
I looked away, feeling a tightness in my chest as the words slipped out before I could stop them. “It’s been hard,” I admitted, my voice quieter. “I can admit I don’t know much about being normal, but I’m trying. I apologize for being a bad partner. It’s hard to trust someone who isn’t being honest.”
Lily was quiet for a moment, her ears flicking slightly, her gaze fixed on the ground. Then she looked up, her eyes meeting mine, steady and sincere. “I get it,” she said softly. “I don’t know if I’d have reacted well before. I-” She paused, her voice growing even softer, almost gentle. “Thanks for trusting me now.”
A smile tugged at the corners of my lips, small but genuine. “Thanks for not freaking out,” I said, my voice carrying a note of humor.
She laughed quietly, her fox ears flattening slightly with amusement, her tail giving a small flick. The sound was a soothing balm to my frayed nerves, easing the tension I hadn’t even realized I was still holding. “Freaking out’s usually my first instinct,” she admitted, a hint of laughter in her eyes. “But... I think I’m getting better at this whole ‘not panicking’ thing.”
Her honesty made me laugh too, the sound light and freeing. Just like that, the tension that had hung between us for so long seemed to ease. It wasn’t gone—not completely—but it felt like we’d crossed a line, moved a little closer to something like understanding.
“Still haven’t quite gotten the hang of the bitch part, right?” I joked back.
“No,” she chuckled. “Don’t think I ever will. Unless you fix it first.”
I laughed, stretching my legs, bending down to touch my toes. Shifting always made me so stiff. I looked at the hybrid through the space between my legs.
Lily’s ears perked up again, her blue eyes glinting in the moonlight. She took another step closer, her tail swishing behind her, and I could see the genuine fascination in her gaze. “Do you ever get tired of it?” she asked. “Being able to shift, I mean. Or is it just... always like magic?”
I considered her question for a moment, my body snapping back upright. “It’s both, I think,” I said eventually. “Sometimes it feels like the most natural thing in the world. Other times, I hate being reminded about all of the responsibilities it gives me. Who I have to be because of it. But when I’m up there, when I’m flying...” I trailed off, a small smile touching my lips. “It’s worth it. It always feels like magic then.”
Lily nodded, her gaze softening. “I think I get that,” she said quietly. Her ears twitched, and she gave me a small smile. “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to fly. I had a friend who shifted before, and she could fly. I used to envy her. Always wished she could pick me up and take me with her.”
“Well, I’m a raven,” I said with a wry grin. “So unless you want to shrink down to about a tenth of your size, I’m afraid you’re a bit too heavy for me to carry around.”
She laughed, her ears tilting back slightly as her tail swished. “Yeah, I figured. Besides, I don’t think I’d trust you to fly straight if you had me dangling from your talons.”
I laughed too, the image ridiculous enough to make the tension in my chest ease a little more. “Fair enough. But maybe one of the dragons could give you a ride one day,” I added, my tone playful. “You know, if Khione ever decides she likes us enough not to drop you halfway through the sky.”
Lily snorted, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "Oh, Khione?" she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "The ice dragon who'd probably freeze my tail just for looking at her the wrong way? Yeah, I'll pass."
"Come on," I teased, nudging her arm lightly. "She can't be that bad. She's just... selectively friendly."
Lily shook her head, her ears twitching with laughter. "Right. Selectively friendly. I'm sure she'd love to have a hybrid hitching a ride on her back. I'll stick to the ground for now, thanks."
We both laughed, the sound echoing softly in the night air, mingling with the rustle of leaves and the distant chirping of crickets. It was rare that we were so open and honest with one another since that first day together. But in that moment, it finally felt like we were in this together as friends. Her black fox ears flicked again, catching the light from the moon above us, and her gaze met mine, her eyes softening with a warmth that made my chest tighten, but in a good way this time.
"You know," she said after a moment, her voice quieter, almost as if she wasn't sure she should say it, "I'm glad you told me. It's like... I feel like I understand you a little better now."
"Yeah?" I asked, my own voice coming out softer. It wasn't easy for either of us to admit these kinds of things.
She nodded, her fox tail swishing slowly behind her, the big fluffy thing moving in gentle arcs. "Yeah. I mean, we're all carrying something, right? Secrets, fears... it's just part of who we are. And I guess it's nice to know I'm not the only one."
I smiled. "You're definitely not the only one," I said. "And I'm glad I told you too. Even if I thought you might freak out."
Lily rolled her eyes, her ears flattening in mock annoyance. "Oh please, I'm not that bad. Just because my first instinct is to act like a complete and utter diva doesn't mean I would have gone all psychobitch. I bite, but not that hard, jeez.”
I laughed, shaking my head. "Right, right. Totally calm and collected, that's you."
"Hey, I've gotten better," she shot back, a grin tugging at her lips. "Besides, you're the one who kept this big secret. Who knows, maybe I'm the one who should be freaking out that my supposed partner is actually a shapeshifting bird woman—who, by the way, is also one of the most sacred beings in the country. If not the world. Just a normal Tuesday."
"Not just any shapeshifting bird woman," I corrected, pointing a finger at her, unable to keep the smile off my face. "A Raven."
"Right, a raven," she teased, her eyes glinting mischievously. "I've seen ravens steal shiny things, you know. Might have to keep an eye on my stuff."
I snorted, shaking my head. "I can promise you, your belt buckles are safe from me."
Lily gave a mock sigh of relief, her tail swishing again. "Good to know. I'd hate to have to fend off a raven attack just to protect my piercings, crow brain."
The banter between us felt natural, easy, and the tension that had been there for so long seemed to fade into the background. There were still things we hadn't worked through, but in that moment, it felt like we were a little bit closer to being real friends.
Later, as we sat by the fire, the flames crackling and casting flickering shadows across the clearing, a more solemn mood seemed to settle between us. The warmth of the fire wrapped around us, and I could feel the chill of the night slowly being pushed back. Lily stared into the flames, her ears twitching slightly as she seemed to be lost in thought. Finally, her voice came, softer than usual, almost hesitant.
"I'm sorry," she said, her gaze fixed on the flames. "For everything I said before. I judged you without really knowing you. And I guess... I was scared, too. I didn't know if I could trust you."
I sighed, feeling affection for her growing in my chest. It wasn't easy for Lily to apologize—I knew that. She was stubborn and proud, and hearing her admit her mistakes made me feel like maybe we really were making progress. "I was being difficult too," I admitted, my eyes following the dance of the fire. "I’m sorry, and... I forgive you."
She glanced at me then, her ears perking up, and a real smile lit up her face, one that made her eyes crinkle at the corners. "Then I guess I forgive you, too," she said, her voice lighter, more like her usual self.
"Wow, forgiveness all around," I said, unable to resist the urge to tease. "Who knew we could be so mature?"
Lily snorted, her tail flicking behind her. "Don't get used to it. I'll go back to being a bitch tomorrow."
"Good to know," I said with a grin. "Wouldn't want things to get too friendly around here."
She gave me a playful shove, her smile widening. "Shut up. You're lucky I don't bite."
"Oh, I'm terrified," I replied, my voice dripping with mock fear. "Please, spare me, oh mighty fox warrior."
Lily rolled her eyes, but her laughter came easily, and it was a sound that made me feel lighter. The fire crackled between us, filling the silence that followed with warmth and a sense of peace I hadn't felt in a long time. There was a long road ahead, filled with challenges and dangers waiting for us both, but for the first time, I felt like we had a real shot. We could face it together—not as reluctant allies, but as something closer to friends.
The night stretched on, the stars twinkling above us, and the fire slowly burned down to embers. We sat there, the silence comfortable, the teasing smiles lingering on our faces. And as I looked at Lily, her fox ears twitching slightly as she listened to the sounds of the night, her tail curled around her, I felt something inside me settle. There was still so much left to do, so many obstacles to overcome, but at least now, I knew I didn't have to face it all alone.
"You know," I said after a while, my voice softer, almost thoughtful, "if we ever do find Khione and she doesn't try to freeze us, I think you should ask her for that ride. I'd love to see her face when you ask."
Lily snickered, her eyes glinting mischievously. "Oh yeah? And what makes you think she wouldn't drop me from the sky the first chance she gets?"
"She might," I admitted, unable to hide my grin. "But think of the look on her face. It'd be worth it."
"You're so bad," Lily said, shaking her head, though there was laughter in her voice. "But maybe I'll do it. Just to see if you're right."
"I'll be cheering you on from a safe distance," I replied, and she laughed again, her ears flicking with amusement.
We settled back into a comfortable silence, the warmth of the fire and the glow of the embers surrounding us. The challenges ahead seemed a little less daunting, the road a little less lonely. And for the first time in a long time, I felt like we really could make it.
After that night, something between Lily and me softened. It wasn't sudden—no big moment, no dramatic shift. But it was there, a quiet sort of peace that settled over us. An unspoken truce.
We still argued, of course—there was no miracle fix for our tempers. But the fights felt different. Less about tearing each other down, and far fewer insults being hurled on either side. We were just stubborn and headstrong about our beliefs, and had a hard time looking past that. We were both making efforts, however, to see the value in our differences, learning how to exist side by side, and shutting up when we didn’t have anything nice to say. That was probably the best improvement we made thus far.
One day, we were navigating a particularly tough stretch of the trail. It was treacherous, the rocks slick with dew, the path steep and full of traps. Lily was ahead of me, her jaw tight with focus, when her foot slipped, her boot skidding over loose stones. Instinctively, I reached out to steady her, but she jerked her arm away, a fierce look in her eyes.
"I can do it myself," she snapped, frustration evident in her voice.
I let my hand fall, but I didn't look away. I had to try very hard not to yell back, but I knew underneath her attitude and anger was something gentle and sweet. I had to get better at being understanding. I took a short, quick gasp of air and hoped I softened my voice enough to not give away how irritated I felt inside my chest.
"Lily, you don't have to do everything alone. That’s why we’re doing this thing together—convenience."
She froze, her gaze locked with mine, and for a moment, I thought she'd snap again. My stomach coiled with anticipation. A part of me wanted her to. I had more than enough steam to blow off from the stress of everything. But then she sighed, the tension in her face melting as she reached out, slipping her hand into mine. I helped her up, her fingers holding tightly onto mine.
When we reached the top, I smirked a little, trying to lighten the mood. "See? Teamwork," I said, teasing but gentle.
She rolled her eyes, but there was a hint of a real smile there. "Maybe you're not entirely useless," she replied, her tone softened, almost playful.
That was just one thing that told me we were on the same side now. When the path turned steep or the rocks were too slick, one of us would offer a hand without a word. Lily didn’t even blink an eye at the contact anymore. At night by the fire, the silence wasn't stifling anymore; it was comfortable. We had even started sharing stories, things I hadn't expected to tell her. Things I would have never thought she’d tell me. It was a strange twist of fate—the only person I had ever admitted to not liking had become my favorite person I had ever (save Jimin and Yoongi) talked to within a week’s time.
Lily’s stories were so fascinating and out of the realm of anything I had ever heard before. Most of my friends and family had never known a life outside of Bangtan, Moland, or the southernmost parts of Clarcton. Never had much interaction with humans, and if they did, they rarely had good things to say. Lily, however, had seen almost every nook and cranny of Lustra outside of Alcona Island. Dragons didn’t like non-dragons, so it wasn’t really a possibility for her to get there unless she wanted to be burnt to a crisp.
From the ports of Whopping, to the monasteries in Idris, outfoxing goblins in Bangtan, fighting with Bunyips in Moland, and all the way to the smallest farming towns from Leeside and the capital of Northorn—Lily’s feet had touched the soil there. She earned her gold teeth when she was a teenager and still living with Duke. She’d left that life behind after meeting Dina, but had a few moments since her death. Money was valuable outside of the forests, and barding only stretched the coins so far. Her normal way of money-making lately had been through bounty hunting, but with the elves back, that well had run dry. No one had any money and were too afraid of risking being seen with someone who so obviously stood out from the humans. The tattoos and piercings were a dead giveaway that she was from the east and would draw suspicion from the elves.
Lily was barely surviving when we met. She had just completed a hit on a man who had stolen away a young girl from her father’s home. She was originally meant to be sold off for money and a goat, but the man hadn’t made good on his promise. The wedding never happened, but the girl had gone missing just two days later. When I asked her why she kept calling the bride a ‘girl,’ Lily turned to me and said.
“The peasants in Northorn sell their children so they can get by. The girl was 14 and the man who wanted her was rich enough to give her a large home and a small farm with a goat.”
“But why would anyone do that?” I nearly shouted, the thought of anyone so young being married off foreign. “It would hurt her. She’s so vulnerable to death giving birth to a child. What were they thinking?”
Lily’s look had turned to pity. That moment reminded me that she was right—I was naive and clueless. Nothing about this world made sense, and no one around me was informed enough to know anything different. If they were, they never told us.
“The only people who can afford to eat in Northorn are the nobles and monarchs,” her tone had taken on a softer tone, like she was explaining this to a small child. “Been like that ever since King Edward came into power. He and his queen enjoy the finer things in life, spoiled their children rotten, and stopped taxing their court money. Those who were already struggling turned to less… savory means of staying alive. I know a few boys who were sold to the church and… castrated so they can sing higher. They don’t allow girls into the theater there.”
I never asked about the children in Northorn again.
We weren't perfect. We still stumbled, still clashed. But there was a difference now—we realized we liked each other when we were fighting all of the damn time. And as we pushed onward, the peaks of Ozryn drawing closer each day, I felt the hopelessness I carried with me when I was flying to Clarcton fading away. We had come so far, and Lily seemed confident about our odds. I allowed myself to believe her.
I can’t remember what Yoongi said—if he even said anything—but I remember his voice. Or at least, something pretending to be his voice. I couldn’t remember anymore. It was wrong. Stretched, warped, shredded into something that didn’t fit. It filled the air, filled me, with a kind of terror I couldn’t shake. It wasn’t him. It couldn’t have been him.
I tried to run, but my legs wouldn’t move. The ground seemed to grab at me, holding me back, as if it knew I wasn’t supposed to get there. And he was there, but not there. His face was empty, his eyes hollow—erased. His body jerked unnaturally, like a puppet on strings, and when I reached for him, it was like trying to grab smoke. He slipped right through my fingers, no matter how hard I tried to hold on.
There was screaming—his, mine, I don’t know—but the sound ripped through me, splintered into pieces that never made sense. I think he shouted my name, begged me for something, but all I can remember is the way it sounded: broken. His voice cracked and splintered, sharp and desperate, and I wanted to say something back. I wanted to tell him I was there, that it was okay, but my voice was gone, frozen inside me, useless.
His hands. God, his hands weren’t his anymore. They were claws, tearing at his face, his skin, his eyes. "I can’t see!" he screamed, but it wasn’t even a scream. It was… other. I tried to stop him, but I couldn’t. My hands wouldn’t move. My legs wouldn’t move. I was stuck there, paralyzed, watching him disappear into a million little, bloody pieces.
Everything spun after that. The world tilted, and I couldn’t keep up. I kept trying to reach him, to grab hold of anything, but there was nothing. Just the thick, black smoke swallowing him whole. I don’t know if I screamed, if I begged him to stay, but I felt like I did. The ache in my chest, the burn in my throat—it had to mean something came out of me, right? But I can’t remember.
Then it all shifted, blurred into something worse. Smoke burned my lungs, stung my eyes. My feet stumbled over something I couldn’t see, and my name was being called—soft, urgent, but so far away. And that’s when I saw her.
Cordelia.
Her face is the only thing I can see clearly now. Gray and lifeless, her eyes staring at nothing. Dead. She was pinned under something heavy, and I—I tried to pull her free. My hands shook, clawed at the rubble, but it was useless. My strength was gone, and the weight of her stillness crushed me. I screamed her name, but it caught in my throat, tangled with the smoke and the tears. I knew she was gone even before I stopped trying. She was cold, heavy, already slipping away.
Hands grabbed me—pulled me back—but I fought them. Kicked, thrashed, anything to stay with her. I couldn’t leave her. I couldn’t. But they were stronger, and my body was too weak. And then I was holding her, somehow. I don’t remember how, but she was in my arms, and she wasn’t there. She was just… gone.
I don’t know what happened next. The shadows swallowed everything, and I was falling, slipping, screaming inside myself because I couldn’t do anything else. And then there were arms around me, warm and steady, holding me together when I was sure I’d shatter. I didn’t know who it was. I didn’t care. I just clung to them, because they were the only thing keeping me from falling completely into the dark.
"Y/N.”
My head snapped up. Without a word, Lily moved closer, her shoulder brushing against mine.
I am Y/N. The elves are gone. Foxglove is safe. Everyone is safe.
Not Cordelia. She was dead. My best friend’s mother was dead and I wasn’t there for her. I left. I let her die. I killed Cordelia. If I had been there, I could have stopped it. If I had spoken sooner. I am a guardian. I failed. I deserve to—
"Did you know that Bangtan used to be called something else?"
I blinked, snapped from my thoughts.
"No," I replied, robotically, eyes still staring at the dancing yellow and orange flames.
It should have been me.
It should have been me.
It should have been me.
It should have been me.
It should have been me.
It should hav—
"Before humans were here and the land was filled with elementals, they all lived in harmony within their homeland. They didn’t believe in borders the way that humans do. They just used words to describe places."
I made a non-committal sound. I couldn’t manage much more. Lily continued as if I hadn’t said anything at all.
"Virdi Gramine was Lysander, and many of the water elementals lived there. Ozryn had always been home to Khione. Conláed named it. He was the only thing Khione ever respected more than Naida. He died during the war.
"Whopping is named after the human who conquered the east. Liam Whopping," Lily scoffed, her disdain for the man coloring every syllable of his name as she spoke it. "Conláed named it after his wife, Agni. She was a water nymph who lived in the northeast before the fae were sent to Hollow Below. She died of an illness, and he never left her grave. At least, not until the war. The elves enslaved him and the rest of the dragons, but Conláed was too powerful to be kept alive. They beheaded him and paraded it through the streets like some kind of trophy for the others to see. Disgusting."
Lily grew quiet. I could feel the anger rising in her, simmering just beneath the surface. She must've known that getting heated wouldn’t help when I was already feeling this way. She wasn’t exactly wrong either, so I kept my mouth shut. We sat like that for a long time—just the two of us, the fire crackling, the cool night air wrapping around us like a heavy blanket.
“Agni and Lysander,” I muttered, my voice weak, barely more than a whisper. “Is that it?”
“No,” she whispered back. “Ancola was Ryuu. That’s where the dragons originally came from. Conláed was the first and the most curious, so that’s why he ended up in so many stories. Northorn was the quietus kingdom of Betsalel. Briar Glen Beach was called something else before, but I don’t remember what. It’s a memorial site for King Omar Briar Glen. King Edward's great-great-uncle. Keld lives there.”
“Keld? Like Keld’s Landing?”
“Same guy—well, dragon. The humans enslaved the dragons to ride them, and Keld was given to King Omar. They grew close, and when Omar learned that the dragons could turn into people… he couldn’t let the torture go on. He helped start the dragon revolution with Keld and a few others. That’s the only reason Lustra won—when the dragons got out. Omar died. Keld didn’t want to leave him, so he’s estranged from the other dragons. No one goes there anymore. It’s a death sentence.”
“What about Bangtan?”
“Moland and Bangtan were fae territory, so less is known about them since the Hallow Rift, but I believe Witrial is what Hydra called it.”
“Who’s Hydra?” I asked, laying down and curling into a ball. Sitting up was taking too much effort. Lily watched me, her eyes squinted, reading my mood. She knew I was upset but chose not to call attention to it. I appreciated the effort.
“She’s Lindon’s guard. She’s the only person who can let people in and out. I’ve known her for a few years now.”
“Does she do ice magic?” I asked.
“No. Only the royal guard knows how to do that. She’s a water wielder.”
“Will she like me?”
“You’re impossible to dislike.”
I thought of Ji-Hyun and frowned. “That’s not true.”
“Well, whoever doesn’t has a few screws loose.”
Finally, I smiled.
“Thanks, Lily.”
“You’re welcome, Y/N.”
As the stars spun slowly overhead and the fire crackled down to embers, I felt a strange, tentative peace creep in. The visions were getting worse, and I knew Lily was losing sleep because of my nightmares, but we’d never really talked about them before. I could feel myself slipping away each time, and every time I’d close my eyes, I’d wait for everything to stop. When my soul felt like it was five feet away from my body, watching everything from up above—that was the only time the thoughts stopped anymore.
Flying didn’t help.
Ignoring it didn’t help.
Food didn’t help.
Jokes didn’t help.
Nothing did.
It should have been me.
I hoped the nightmares would stay away tonight. I knew they wouldn’t.
We settled down in a small clearing that night, a patch of ground just large enough for the two of us and the small fire Lily had built. The trees rose up around us like silent witnesses, their branches catching the moonlight and splaying shadows over the mossy floor. It smelled like damp earth and pine sap, and every now and then you could hear a distant owl calling out, or something small scurrying through the brush. For a moment, I tried to focus on those sounds instead of the noise in my head. I tried to notice how the flames sent tiny sparks upward, how they danced into the darkness and disappeared. I thought if I could just pay attention to these details, maybe I wouldn’t get pulled back under—pulled back to that place where I heard the screams and felt the ground crumble under my feet.
Lily was by my side, close enough that the tips of our boots almost touched. She’d been watching me quietly for a while, giving me the kind of space you give a wild animal when you’re not sure if it’s going to bolt or lash out. After what felt like forever, she finally spoke.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked, her voice soft but steady. She curled a bit closer, arms around her knees, as if to show me she was no threat. “I always wonder where you go when you get so quiet.”
My heart twisted painfully. I knew she deserved more than a brush-off. This was Lily, after all—the person who’d pulled me out of the rubble more than once, who’d kept watch on nights I couldn’t sleep, who’d patched me up and told me that I’d make it through somehow. But I didn’t know how to put words to the ugly tangle in my head. The grief and guilt felt impossible to explain, like every time I tried, I’d end up showing her something so awful that she’d never see me the same way again.
“Just… how far we’ve come,” I said. The lie tasted bitter. I knew Lily could hear it in my voice, see it in how I stared into the fire instead of at her. I tried to swallow, to force the lump in my throat back down where it belonged. The night pressed in around us, too quiet, like it was holding its breath.
Lily shifted closer, her eyes never leaving my face. “You’re lying,” she said gently. There was no anger or disappointment, just this calm certainty. “Didn’t we agree not to lie to each other anymore?”
I closed my eyes for a second, remembering when we’d made that promise. We’d been tired and sore, leaning against a fallen log under a red sunset, swearing that if we trusted no one else in this world, we’d trust each other. If I broke that promise now, after all we’d been through, what kind of person did that make me? But telling her the truth felt like cutting open a wound that hadn’t healed right in the first place.
My voice came out small and shaky. “I have a past… things I’m not proud of.” I could feel the weight of the words pressing on my chest, making it hard to breathe.
She didn’t flinch or roll her eyes or tell me to stop being dramatic. She just looked at me, those brown eyes like steady lanterns in the dark. “You don’t have to hide,” she said, her voice sure and quiet. “I’ve done terrible things, remember? I told you all about them. I’m not going to judge you.”
I pressed my hand against my thigh, grounding myself. She was making it sound simple, when I knew it wasn’t. “I—” My throat closed up again. I had to force the words out, bit by bit. “I made mistakes that got people killed. People who trusted me. People who…” I swallowed hard. “People who should still be here right now.”
The fire crackled in front of us, sparks whirling upward, and for a second I could almost see their faces in those sparks: Cordelia’s tired smile, Jimin’s kind eyes. I remembered the day I promised Thelma that I wouldn’t let anything happen, how certain I’d been. And then I remembered how it all fell apart.
Lily’s voice was steady, warm with understanding. “Keep going,” she said, touching my hand lightly. She didn’t push hard; she just let me know she was there.
I stared at my boots, because if I looked at her face I’d cry. “I… I thought I was doing the right thing. I really did,” I said. “I thought if I made this one decision, if I stood my ground at this one crucial moment, I could save everyone. I pictured this perfect outcome, where I’d come out a hero, where everyone survived, and we’d laugh about how tense it got. But that’s not what happened. Instead, I ended up watching everything crumble. They… they died, Lily. A lot of them.”
My voice cracked on the word “died.” The silence after that felt heavy, like a rock pressing against my chest. I rubbed the heel of my hand against my eye, trying to keep the tears in. It felt selfish to cry about it now, when they were the ones who’d lost their lives. What right did I have to weep when I was the one still breathing?
Lily reached out again, this time wrapping her fingers around mine, and I let her. Her hand was warm and a little rough, the hand of someone who’d wielded knives and swords, who’d known violence intimately. There was comfort in that, oddly. She wasn’t some gentle innocent who couldn’t understand darkness. She’d lived through her own nights of regret.
“I’m sorry,” she said finally. “That must weigh so heavily on you. I know what it’s like to carry that blame around. It changes the way you see yourself.”
I nodded, feeling something tighten in my chest. “Jimin and I fought a few days after everything settled,” I said quietly. “He didn’t want me to come here. He said I had lied to him and everyone else and was trying to play hero again. He never said he hated me, but I could see something different in his eyes. Like he was just… empty when he looked at me. Or disappointed. I can’t forgive myself, and I’m pretty sure he can’t either.”
The memory of Jimin’s face stung. The way his shoulders slumped, the way he turned away from me. There had been this terrible silence, broken only by the wind, as if he was afraid that if he said a single word, he would break completely. And then I left. He never followed. I’d never known if he placed the blame on me or if I simply placed it on myself. But either way, I’d never shaken off the feeling that I deserved his anger.
Lily squeezed my hand, not letting go. “Forgiveness can take a long time,” she said. “Sometimes it never comes. But you’re doing what you can now, aren’t you? You didn’t run away. Even after all of that you’re here trying to save that village. That means something.”
I swallowed hard. She was trying to give me something to hold onto—some piece of grace I couldn’t give myself. “They’re still gone,” I managed, voice barely more than a whisper. “Sometimes I think I’d give anything to go back and change what I did. But I can’t. And at night… at night I can’t sleep. I see it all happening again. I see Cordelia’s eyes, empty as the life drained out of her. I see the others, crushed under debris or struck down by those monsters, and I keep thinking, ‘If only I had listened, if only I’d moved sooner, if only I’d been stronger.’ I keep thinking it should have been me down there, not them.”
I felt my shoulders shake. Saying it out loud made it ache more, but also felt like I was lancing a wound, letting the poison out. Lily moved closer, until our knees touched. There was no pity in her eyes, just a steady sympathy that made me feel anchored. “You tried,” she said gently. “You thought you were doing what was right. No one can ask for more than that. The world threw something terrible at you. The blame doesn’t all land on your shoulders.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but I couldn’t find the words. All these months, I had run the scenario in my mind. If I’d just drawn a different line in the dirt, if I’d told them I knew something was coming, if I’d allowed the others to carry the burden with me for a little while, maybe the outcome would have changed. Maybe not. But I would never know, and that not knowing haunted me.
“It doesn’t make it hurt less,” I said finally, voice thick. “But it… I don’t know. It helps to say it out loud, I guess. To know I’m not talking to a wall. To know someone else can see me as more than just… a killer.”
At that, Lily’s mouth tightened, and her eyes glinted in the firelight. “You’re not a killer,” she said firmly. “We’ve both done things that will haunt us. But here you are, heartbroken and torn up, wishing you could have saved them. Doesn’t that tell you something about who you really are?”
I forced myself to meet her eyes—really meet them, bracing for a flicker of disgust or something worse. But there was none of that. Just Lily, looking worn and earnest and so completely herself, as if she’d never considered seeing me as anything but a human being who tried her best. She let her hands rest on my shoulders, her grip gentle but steady, like she needed me to understand this. All of it.
“You didn’t kill anyone,” she said softly, and I could feel her words more than hear them—warm little sparks in the dark. “Aladia and her troops did that. Gawen set the men on Foxglove. And one day, when it happens again, it’ll be General Khiloas carrying out her orders, and Aladia controlling her. This was always going to be awful, no matter what you did. Once those women reach the shorelines, there’ll be blood. Thousands, maybe. Even Etelin’s most loyal don’t really get what’s coming.”
The wind chose that moment to sigh through the branches, sending a scattering of sparks into the night. I watched one drift upward, glowing for just a second longer than seemed possible, before winking out. Somehow, I still felt like the same knot of nerves and regrets I’d always been—but I could also feel something else blooming underneath. Gratitude that Lily hadn’t looked away. Relief that maybe I didn’t have to wear every bad choice around my neck like a chain.
I leaned a fraction closer to her, letting the warmth of her palm ground me. “Thank you,” I whispered. It was all I could manage, but it felt real and big enough, right now.
Lily just nodded, letting the silence spread out between us. Not the tense, suffocating quiet I was used to, but something gentler. Something that said we’d both been hurt, both done things we’d carry around forever—yet here we were, still breathing, still trying. The fire’s glow brushed my face, and Lily’s presence felt like a reminder that while I might still be lost in my own guilt, I didn’t have to be alone in it.
That was enough, at least for tonight.
In the days that followed, I tried to convince myself that I could breathe again. The night Lily and I had sat by the fire, my voice raw from finally letting all my secrets out—well, I’d been certain I’d never say those things to anyone, ever. But I did. I told Lily everything, and she didn’t spit at my feet or turn away. She stayed. She told me it wasn’t all on me, that I wasn’t carrying the world’s sins alone. For the first time in forever, I didn’t feel like I was drowning in guilt.
But “lighter” was such a small thing. It was like going from a hundred-pound weight in my chest to ninety-nine. The burden was still there. Every quiet moment, every sudden rustle of wind, let the memories slip back in, dragging their claws along my spine. I’d breathe in, and the ghosts of those who died would breathe out, lingering right behind my shoulder. I could almost feel their eyes on me.
I kept hearing their voices in my head—tired, helpless whispers from the past. Over and over: Why didn’t you save us? You could’ve done something different. And I’d agree, my stomach twisting into knots, my brain screaming that I should have died instead. At night, I’d press my face into the crook of my arm and try not to shake too loudly, afraid Lily would hear and feel obligated to fix me when I knew no one could.
We went deeper into the forest anyway, step by cautious step. The trees grew taller and closer together until it felt like they were eavesdropping on us, branches stooping down to listen to my pounding heart. Everything was damp and quiet, the sort of silence that makes you feel like you’re trespassing, like nature will punish you for being there. I wanted to shrink into myself, to go unnoticed—my existence felt like an offense.
I kept my head down, watching the patches of sunlight drip through the leaves. My heart was still heavy, even if Lily’s words had loosened a few knots. I’d learned something that night: there was no off-switch for this kind of guilt. All I could do was try not to let it swallow me whole. But that was already harder than I’d imagined. My mind would catch on a memory—Cordelia’s eyes, the way they’d gone empty when I failed her—and I’d start unraveling again, feeling the panic bubble under my ribs. Was I shaking right now? Was Lily seeing it?
The forest got quieter the further we went. That was the first sign. The birds stopped fussing. The breeze barely breathed. I felt it before I saw it—some terrible tension like a string pulled too tight. Lily slowed, her hand drifting to her dagger, and I stiffened, every muscle screaming that something was wrong. My stomach flipped. Whoever was out there, they were watching us, and I was already picturing them dead at my feet, because that’s what always happened, right? Everyone who got close to me ended up twisted and broken. It was a sickening thought, hot tears threatening to blur the trees around me, but I swallowed them down, forcing myself to stay steady. Lily needed me steady.
When the five figures stepped out of the shadows, I bit down on the inside of my cheek hard enough to taste blood. They spread out, circling us, their eyes cold and hungry. One man stepped forward, scar slashed across his cheek, holding a blade that looked old and mean. He sneered at us like we were nothing more than a sack of potatoes he planned to haul away.
“Two little travelers,” he said. His voice was thick with mockery. “Far from home, I’d wager.” My heart was thumping so loudly I was sure everyone could hear it. I remembered the last time I’d faced men like this and how people who mattered had ended up dead. My fault, my fault, my fault. My knees threatened to buckle. I had to be strong, or Lily would pay the price. But what if I messed up again? What if I hesitated or said the wrong thing and the forest ended up soaked in blood?
I risked a glance at Lily. She was tense but focused, her shoulders back, her jaw set. She looked strong. I wanted to be that strong. But the roar of memory was deafening inside me—voices telling me I’d fail again. I felt sweat trickle down the back of my neck. Another death, another regret. Could I survive adding more ghosts to the legion already haunting me?
“Hand over your packs,” the leader said. “Or you can join the wolves’ dinner menu, your choice.”
Behind me, Lily’s breath caught, and I wondered: Should I just give them everything? Would that save Lily this time? I was already imagining how wrong it could go. I was remembering someone else’s blood on my hands, and my chest tightened so hard it hurt. I was seeing Cordelia again, the way her head lolled, how I’d knelt beside her and begged her not to die—but she did anyway, leaving me behind like an unwanted afterthought.
“Please,” I managed, my voice cracking. My throat felt like I’d swallowed briars. “We don’t want trouble.” I hated how pathetic I sounded, how easily I showed my fear. But maybe showing it would help? Maybe they’d see how pathetic I was and decide I wasn’t worth killing. Or maybe it would just make them laugh. My nails dug into my palms, and I pressed my lips together to keep from crying. Don’t cry. Not now. Not when Lily needs you.
They closed in, slow and deliberate. I could smell their sweat and old leather. The leader flicked his blade, and the scrape of metal turned my bones to ice. In that moment, I was sure I’d fail again. That people would die on my watch—maybe Lily, maybe me—and it would all be my fault. The realization made me dizzy. The forest spun. I couldn’t seem to catch a full breath.
Lily looked at me, and in her eyes, I saw that she still believed in me. She must’ve seen something in my face, in the way I trembled, because she shifted closer, her elbow just brushing mine. It was a tiny point of contact, but it grounded me, reminded me that not everyone was gone. Not yet.
But I could feel my grip on reality loosening, like I was holding onto the edge of a cliff with just my fingertips. My whole body wanted to fold in on itself and disappear. The leader barked something I didn’t quite catch, and the men laughed—harsh and hollow. Lily’s knuckles went white around her dagger’s hilt, and I tried to do the same with my own weapon, but my hand was shaking too much. I could almost hear Lily’s voice in my head, telling me I could do this, that I wasn’t alone, that I’d done what I could before. But I couldn’t tell which of us was lying.
The world shrank to this circle of strangers, this moment. No one coming to save us, no mercy in their eyes. I realized, with a sick kind of certainty, that this forest was about to rewrite everything I’d tried to believe since Lily and I left that last clearing. I’d thought I could carry on, thought maybe I was worth something after all. But right now, I couldn’t see how any of this ended without more blood on my hands.
“Listen,” I said, voice trembling, “can we—can we just talk about this?” My own words sounded thin and desperate. The leader smirked, as if this was exactly what he’d wanted. More prey cowering and begging. Maybe he collected pleas the way other people collected coins.
Lily tensed, and I knew it wouldn’t be words that got us out of this. It’d be action, and I’d have to take it. If I failed… if I messed up again… the thought made me nauseous.
In that breath of silence, I could feel my heartbeat throbbing in my ears. I tried to remember the warmth of Lily’s hand on mine the other night, tried to believe it still mattered. Maybe I could fight for that feeling. Maybe I could get us both out of here alive, and if I did, maybe that would mean I wasn’t a monster. Maybe.
It was all I had. And it would have to be enough.
“Now!” the leader barked, his voice slicing through the dark like a razor, and I moved.
At first, it wasn’t even me moving—it was something else, something buried deep inside my chest, something coiled and waiting. My heart slammed against my ribs, pounding so loudly I couldn’t hear anything else. Heat flared beneath my skin, and I felt sparks hiss at the ends of my fingertips, bright and wild, like they’d been waiting for this moment of pure panic.
I blinked, and suddenly they were everywhere—these men blocking our path, their eyes hungry and hollow. I knew they weren’t elves, not really, but my mind wouldn’t listen to reason. I saw pointed ears where there were none. I saw cruel, pale faces with that smug sneer I could never forget. Elves had taken everything from me—my home, my friend, my life. They’d stolen my future and left me holding the wreckage. And now, facing these strangers in the dark, my mind insisted they were the same. The same as the ones who made me watch Cordelia die. The same as the ones I failed to save anyone from.
It should’ve been me who died. It should’ve been me pinned underneath that debris, crushed and silent, not Cordelia. The weight of that thought pressed against my lungs, making it hard to breathe. I was supposed to protect everyone—and I didn’t. I couldn’t. I’d watched them fall, and I’d watched the light go out of Cordelia’s eyes, and now that memory clawed at me, shoving itself right into the present. Every scream I’d heard that night echoed in my skull. Every time I blinked, I saw her face.
I swore I’d never hesitate again. I swore I’d never let anyone hurt me or the people I cared about without burning the whole damn world down first.
So I let the fire loose.
It roared out of me, lighting up the forest, painting our attackers in harsh, flickering gold. For a second, I thought I saw Cordelia’s face reflected in the flames, and my throat tightened. Guilt and fury tangled in my chest, and I threw my hands forward, sending a bloom of fire rushing straight into the leader’s path. He screamed—a raw, ragged sound that I felt in my teeth. The smell was awful, searing my nose and making my stomach lurch, but I couldn’t stop. I didn’t know how to stop anymore. This violence felt like the only way to keep my head above water, the only way to make sure I never failed again. They would never take anyone from me again. Never.
I barely registered the blow that slammed into my side, only that suddenly the ground tilted and my vision blurred. My ribs ached, and I sucked in a jagged breath, coughing on smoke and sparks. Through the haze, I saw Lily—her dagger flashing, her hair whipping around her face as she fought. She looked like some kind of fierce angel, her eyes narrowed in determination. She was fighting for me, for us, even when I was half out of my mind.
I tried to focus on her, tried to ground myself in the curve of her shoulder, the set of her jaw—but then another attacker loomed over me, swinging a fist that landed hard against my cheek. Pain burst behind my eyes, bright spots dancing in my vision. My mind started to drift, sliding into that place where the past and present tangled up. Was this the night Cordelia died? Was I back there, helpless and screaming and begging the elves to show mercy? I’d never found a way to rewrite that story. It always ended with everyone dead but me. I always ended up alone.
My hands shook as I tried to gather the sparks again. I tasted blood in my mouth. It was metallic and hot, and it fueled the fire inside me. Another man charged, and I lashed out with flame, watching him vanish into a screaming silhouette of light and heat. This time, I didn’t flinch. I didn’t allow myself to feel sorry. They were all elves to me now—all monsters who wanted me broken, wanted Lily dead, wanted to rip apart everything I still cared about. If I stopped, if I softened, if I hesitated, I’d fail Lily the way I failed Cordelia. I’d lose someone else. And I couldn’t survive that. Not again.
I could feel myself unraveling. Every scream sounded like Cordelia’s. Every face twisted in pain reminded me of my own failure. I wanted them gone. I wanted them all gone. Better them than me. Better them than Lily. Better them than anyone I might still be able to save.
The flames danced higher, brighter, and I let them feed on my fear and rage until the men were just ashes on the forest floor. The fight ended as abruptly as it began, leaving the night stained with smoke and something darker—something I couldn’t quite name but felt staining my lungs.
My knees buckled, and I sank down, gripping the dirt with trembling fingers. My side throbbed, my chest heaved, and the smell of burnt flesh clung to my clothes. I’d done it again. I’d survived. I’d kept Lily safe. But at what cost? Was I any better than them? What was the difference between my violence and theirs?
My thoughts were spiraling, and I couldn’t catch my breath. The trees swayed overhead, the stars winking in and out, and I felt like the world was tilting on its axis, about to throw me off. I pressed a hand to my side, feeling something wet and warm. Blood. My blood. Pain shimmered behind my eyes, and I tried to focus on that sensation—at least it was real. At least it meant I was alive.
“Hey,” Lily’s voice reached me through the smoke and fear. She knelt beside me, her expression unexpectedly soft. She pressed her hands against my wound, trying to stanch the bleeding. I hissed, pain slicing through me, but I was grateful for it in a weird way. Pain was honest. Pain didn’t lie, didn’t trick me into thinking I could’ve saved Cordelia if I’d just tried harder.
Lily’s eyes met mine. Gone was the warrior who’d been dancing through blades and fire. Now she looked worried, human, her brows pinched together. She said something like, “Stay with me,” and I tried to latch onto her words, to let them anchor me here and now, and not in that horrible memory I kept reliving.
But my head felt heavy and full of static. My vision blurred at the edges, and I could hear my heartbeat echoing in my ears. You failed them, it whispered. You always fail. Cordelia’s eyes were everywhere, accusing me, asking why I survived when she did not.
“I’m sorry,” Lily said, and her voice cracked just a little. I wondered what she was sorry for. Maybe she could see that I was disappearing inside myself, slipping into the old fear and shame. Maybe she knew I was too far gone to claw my way back. She pressed harder on the wound, her touch firm but careful, and I tried to focus on that, on her voice and her hands and the fact that she was still here, that we were still here.
I closed my eyes. The world faded to the sound of Lily’s breathing and the throb of pain in my side. I was drifting, lost between past and present, guilt and survival. My mind screamed that I should’ve died back then, that I should’ve traded my life for Cordelia’s. My heart thudded, reminding me I was still alive anyway, still sucking in smoke-filled air.
I thought I felt Lily’s hand in my hair, gentle and strange. For a moment, it felt safe, like a lullaby humming at the edge of a nightmare. I tried to hold onto that feeling, tried to believe that maybe not everyone I touched was doomed. Maybe Lily would be okay. Maybe I hadn’t destroyed everything yet.
I tried to speak, but I couldn’t form words. My body was too tired, my mind too battered. I let the darkness take over, sinking into it with the taste of blood and ash on my tongue, Lily’s voice echoing in my memory. And as I drifted, I could still see Cordelia’s face, just beyond the flames, whispering something I couldn’t make out. Something that might’ve been forgiveness—or maybe just the wind in the trees.
When I opened my eyes, the night had settled into something deeper and quieter. The sky was a dark, velvety blue—so rich it almost looked soft—dotted with stars that felt hand-stitched into the fabric of the universe. The campfire flickered at my side, its glow tugging at the edges of the shadows, and I blinked, trying to coax my eyes to focus in the dim light.
Lily was pacing near the fire, arms folded across her chest, her boots scuffing at the ground. She tossed another log on, muttering under her breath, “Can’t believe I’m stuck doing this again.” She sounded annoyed, but it was a different brand of annoyance than before—less feral, more… familiar. Almost like an inside joke, if we’d ever bothered to share one.
I managed a dry cough that was supposed to be a laugh. “You’re better at it than me,” I croaked. My throat felt like it had been sanded down, but I was smiling. Actually smiling.
She turned to face me, one eyebrow arched, her mouth curving into something that didn’t quite reach the level of a grin but was way friendlier than a scowl. “Don’t get too pleased with yourself just because you survived a stabbing,” she said. There was a teasing lilt in her voice, like maybe she wanted to be mad but couldn’t quite commit to the part. “Think you’re hilarious, don’t you?”
“Hilarious is my middle name,” I said, wincing as I tried an actual laugh. It hurt—everything hurt—but it was still better than silence. Funny how pain could feel like progress after the last few days. At least now I was here, alive, making dumb jokes instead of drowning in old ghosts.
Lily moved closer, settling down next to me. She kept one eye on the tree line, but the other eye—a warm brown, crinkled a bit at the corner—lingered on me. “You’re tougher than you look,” she said, nudging my arm lightly, as if that could be considered a kind of compliment.
I looked at the fire, felt its warmth creep up my cheeks. “Maybe I had a decent teacher,” I said, and I hoped she heard the gratitude in my voice, even if I didn’t say thank you outright. Somehow, “thanks for saving my life and also maybe my sanity a little bit” felt too big to say out loud right now.
A hush settled between us, not the sharp kind of silence we used to wade through, thick with all the words we weren’t saying. This was different—easier, like we’d earned it. We just listened to the night: the pop of the fire, the gentle sway of branches, distant whispers of something wild and green.
“You know,” Lily said at last, eyes still on the flames, “you did well today. Didn’t back down. Even when it got ugly.”
I swallowed, remembering sparks, screams, and the way my chest tightened at the memory of Cordelia and all the what-ifs. My heart felt heavy, but I tried to breathe past it. “I had to,” I said softly, meaning a thousand things. I had to save Lily. I had to prove I could still stand my ground. I had to not crumble into pieces again.
She nodded like she understood—maybe not everything, but enough. “We do what we must,” she said, and her voice sounded gentler than I’d ever heard it. It made me brave enough to glance at her, to meet her gaze. For a split second, something passed between us: understanding, respect, the kind of quiet warmth that comes from surviving something horrible together.
“Are you alright?” she asked, voice low and genuinely concerned. It caught me off guard—the directness, the compassion. She tilted her head, eyes narrowing on my bandaged side. “How’s the wound?”
I tried to shift, but pain flared. My body complained about every single movement. “It hurts,” I admitted, feeling strangely proud of myself for the honesty. “But I’ll live. Today was… a mess.”
That made her snort softly. “Understatement of the year,” she said, but the corners of her mouth twitched upward. “We made it, though.”
When she looked at me like that, all the lines of her face softened, and I realized how relieved she must have been that I was awake, talking, breathing. She reached for the canteen and held it out, her touch careful as she checked the cloth bound around my torso. Her fussing felt different now—like it was allowed, like maybe we were on the same side of something intangible.
“You’re the bird everyone’s been talking about,” she said quietly, her voice dipping lower than the rustle of the leaves. “The one who… who died without an heir, right? The one the elves celebrated killing?”
I nodded, my throat too tight to add anything else. It was still strange hearing it put so plainly, my whole story condensed to a few ugly facts.
Lily studied me, her expression complicated. Then she offered a small, crooked smile. “Well,” she said, “dead or alive, you’re stuck with me.”
I let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. “I guess I can live with that,” I said, and for the first time, the words didn’t feel like another wall going up. They felt like a small door opening, letting in a bit of light.
She went quiet, staring off into the trees. The fire sent shadows dancing over her face, making her look both younger and older at the same time. I couldn’t figure her out, but maybe I didn’t have to, not tonight. Tonight, it was enough that she was here, that we were both breathing and bruised and not running away.
I eased back, my body protesting, and let the hush surround us again. The stars overhead were brighter than I remembered, scattered like crumbs of light. The forest hummed softly around us, like it approved of this fragile peace we’d built. Lily glanced up at the sky, and for a moment, she looked almost content. Almost hopeful.
And me? I felt that tiny ember of hope I’d guarded so carefully flicker warmer, brighter. Maybe we didn’t have all the answers, and maybe tomorrow would be hard and strange and violent again. But in this moment, sharing a quiet fire and the barest hints of trust, it felt like the world could be kind for a while.
I closed my eyes, letting the ache in my bones remind me I was alive and not alone. We were friends, or something close enough to count. And that, right now, was everything.
I woke up feeling worse than before, which I hadn’t thought was possible. Everything felt heavy and out of place—my body, the night air, even the quiet forest around us. The trees, usually a comfort, seemed distant and unimpressed. My skin prickled with fever, and my clothes clung uncomfortably to my sweat-dampened skin. I tried to swallow and found my throat scratchy, dry as old paper.
The fire was low, just a faint orange glow, and Lily was sitting on the other side of it, arms crossed, staring off into the trees. She must’ve heard me shift because she turned right away, her eyes narrowing in concern. She looked tired—like she’d been waiting for me to wake up and hadn’t gotten any sleep herself. Her hair was a mess, her cheeks smudged with dirt, and something about seeing her this unguarded made my chest tighten.
“Hey,” she said quietly, getting up and coming over before I even tried to speak. She crouched next to me, her hand hovering over my forehead, like she was worried she’d hurt me just by touching. “How are you feeling?”
It took me a second to find my voice, and even then, it came out cracked and too quiet. “I’m fine,” I said, because that’s what you’re supposed to say. But we both knew I wasn’t. I could see it in the way her mouth tightened. My stomach twisted with guilt for lying, even though I wasn’t fooling anyone.
“You feel like a furnace,” she said, pressing her palm to my forehead anyway. Her hand was calloused and cool against my skin. I wanted to lean into that coolness, let it chase away the fever burning behind my eyes. “You’ve been out for a while.”
“Sorry,” I managed, though I wasn’t sure what I was apologizing for. Maybe for making her worry, maybe for needing her help.
She shook her head, then grabbed the canteen from where it lay near the fire, unscrewing the cap. “Don’t be stupid,” she said, but there was no bite to it. She slipped an arm under my shoulders and helped me sit up just enough to drink. The water tasted slightly metallic, probably from the canteen, but it was cool and wet, and I almost sighed out loud with relief.
“Better?” she asked, her face close enough that I could see the lines of exhaustion around her eyes. The night smelled like damp earth and woodsmoke, and now that I was upright, I noticed my entire body ached, like I’d run ten miles or fought off a bear or something equally ridiculous.
I nodded, though my head felt floaty. “Thanks,” I said, and I meant it. She was being gentle, careful. This was Lily, who so often spoke in clipped words and sideways glances, who’d killed men without flinching. Now she was tucking a blanket around my shoulders, like I was something fragile.
She settled back on her heels, assessing me. “You’ve got a fever,” she said plainly. “You need to rest.”
“I have been resting,” I pointed out weakly. It came out sounding like an attempt at humor, and her mouth lifted at one corner. A smile, almost.
“Yeah, well, do it more,” she said. She looked over her shoulder at the forest, scanning for threats, I guess. When she turned back, there was something careful in her expression. “I’ll keep watch.”
It hit me then that she was worried about more than just my fever—she was worried about us being vulnerable, about someone stumbling upon our little camp and finding me half-dead. That protective edge in her eyes, it settled something in my chest, made me feel less alone. Less like a burden.
I tried to relax, but my muscles felt tense, my side hurt, and my mind kept drifting, half-awake, to jumbled images I couldn’t quite piece together. I kept seeing faces—people I’d lost—blinking in and out of my memory like fireflies. It made my heart ache. I pressed a hand to my chest, tried to focus on something real, something solid.
Lily noticed. She leaned in and took my hand—not in a dramatic way, just kind of scooped it up as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “Don’t go all strange on me,” she said softly, and I thought I heard a hint of teasing in her voice. “You’re allowed to be sick. You’re allowed to feel bad. No one’s judging you here.”
I exhaled, the sound shaky. “I don’t want to drag you down,” I admitted. It felt silly as soon as I said it, but it was true. I hated feeling useless. She’d done so much—fought, protected, fussed over me like some cranky nursemaid—and I was just lying here, sweating and shaking.
Her eyes softened, the fire’s light catching flecks of gold in them. “You’re not dragging me anywhere,” she said, giving my hand a squeeze. “This is what people do. They help each other. Besides, you’d do it for me.”
I thought about that. Would I? Yeah, I would. Even before we’d trusted each other, something about Lily made me want to step up, to be braver. She had that effect—pushing me toward the kind of person I wanted to be. I swallowed, tried to muster a real smile. “I would,” I said.
She nodded, like we were settling an argument I didn’t realize we’d been having. Then, as if deciding I looked stable enough not to keel over, she released my hand and reached for a piece of cloth. She dipped it in water and pressed it to my forehead. The coolness was heaven, and I closed my eyes, letting it soothe the heat pulsing beneath my skin.
In the quiet that followed, I felt the night envelop us. The distant chirps of insects, the gentle rustle of leaves, the slow crackle of dying embers—it all threaded together into something calm and steady. And Lily was right here, close enough that I could feel the warmth of her arm when she leaned forward to adjust the cloth, close enough that I could smell the faint scent of sweat and travel and fire smoke that clung to us both.
“I owe you,” I managed after a few minutes of silence, my voice a rasp against the hush of the woods.
“No, you don’t,” she said. Not snappy or sarcastic—just kind. Like maybe this was what she’d needed too, to know she could be here for someone, and they’d actually let her in.
It was quiet for a long time after that. Not tense quiet, not that uneasy hush where you’re both looking for an exit. More like a kind of gentleness neither of us wanted to ruin. The fire popped softly, and a stray ember danced up into the night. I could hear my own breathing, and Lily’s too, and it felt like we were sharing something personal without needing to say it out loud.
After a while, I swallowed and said, “Tell me more about your daughter.” My voice sounded small, but not timid—more like I was stepping carefully, out of respect.
Lily’s expression changed the moment I mentioned her daughter, like I’d just turned on a light in a dark room. Her face softened, and the set of her shoulders relaxed. “She’s seventeen now,” she said, running a hand through her tangled hair. “Seventeen and convinced she knows everything, and maybe she does. She’s... unstoppable. She was trying to climb trees before she could walk, you know?” She shook her head, a tiny smile tugging at her lips. “Stubborn as hell, thinks the world exists for her to explore. She reminds me a lot of myself, and that’s both wonderful and terrifying.”
I tried to picture it—this stubborn, fearless kid. “She sounds… intense,” I said softly, hoping that came across as admiration and not judgment.
Lily snorted softly. “Oh, she is. She never stops moving. Always pushing back if you try to hold her down.” Her voice had that warm, proud note that parents get when they talk about their kids doing something that both annoys and impresses them.
I let the silence settle for a beat before asking, “Where is she now?” I didn’t want to pry, but I also felt like we were onto something real here, something I wanted to know more about.
Lily’s gaze drifted away, and the brightness in her face dimmed. “Up north, with some friends. Good people who know how to keep her safe and grounded.” She licked her lips, as if choosing her words carefully. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t give her that stability. Not with the way I live. I wanted to, but I just…” She shrugged, her voice catching. “She deserves better than what I could offer.”
I nodded, my chest feeling heavier. I knew that kind of regret, the way it tastes bitter on your tongue. “You did what you thought was right,” I said quietly. “That’s all anyone can do.”
When she looked back at me, I saw something in her eyes—something vulnerable and honest. She gave a small nod, and though she tried to smile, it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Still, it was real. “Yeah,” she said, voice low. “I hope so.”
We let the night hold us for a while, the fire shrinking down to glowing coals. In that silence, I felt like we understood each other more than we did a few minutes ago. Not in some big, dramatic way. Just... better.
I cleared my throat softly, almost reluctant to break the quiet. “What about you?” I asked, my voice gentle. “You’ve been all over. What’s that like?”
Lily’s gaze moved up, past the trees, like she was searching the stars for her memories. “It’s been a lot of things,” she said, voice going distant. “Exciting, lonely, dangerous. I’ve seen places so beautiful they made my chest ache, and I’ve seen things I wish I could erase from my mind. I’ve met people who changed me, people I still miss, and people I’m glad I never saw again.” She let out a short laugh. “It’s not always glamorous, being rootless. It can wear you down.”
I tried to imagine that life—never staying still, never letting anyone in too close. It must’ve felt like carrying a heavy pack you could never put down. “Any fun stories?” I asked, hoping to give her a moment of pride, something that didn’t hurt.
A real smile flickered across her face. “There was this village up north. They were dealing with these bandits—nothing but bullies, really—and I decided I’d had enough of them pushing decent people around.” She shrugged, trying to play it off, but I saw the spark in her eyes. “I cornered their leaders, made them see reason.” She paused, then snorted. “They ran off so fast I’m surprised their pants didn’t catch fire.”
Despite everything, I grinned. “You’re kind of a badass, you know.”
Lily rolled her eyes, but I could tell the compliment landed somewhere good. “I just do what needs to be done,” she said. But there was a gentleness in how she said it this time.
The fire cracked softly, and I could feel something hanging between us, something heavier. I took a breath and asked the question that had been on my mind. “You mentioned someone once—your first love. What happened?”
Her whole body went a little still, and I almost regretted asking. Almost. But then she started to speak, voice quieter now, like she was talking around a lump in her throat. “We were kids, basically. We had all these plans... We thought nothing could touch us.” She looked into the coals, as if the answers were there. “But life took a turn. She died. Just like that. And I was left wondering how I was supposed to keep breathing when half of me was gone.”
My own throat tightened at that. It was such a simple, brutal truth. I reached out, placing my hand over hers. She didn’t pull away. “I’m sorry,” I said, because what else could I say?
Lily nodded, staring at the fire, her eyes wet but not spilling over. “I never really got over it,” she confessed quietly. “I told myself it was safer not to let anyone in. That maybe I wouldn’t hurt so bad if I kept everyone at a distance.” She swallowed hard. “But sometimes, especially when it’s quiet, I wonder if I made a mistake. Maybe I could have found happiness again, if I just… tried.”
The pain in her voice was so human, so recognizable. I’d carried a different kind of loneliness, but I knew the shape of it. “It’s never too late,” I said softly, hoping she could feel how much I meant it.
She turned, meeting my eyes. I could see the battle going on inside her—the old habits telling her to slam the door shut, the new hope telling her to leave it open. Then she let out a breath and her shoulders relaxed a fraction. “Maybe,” she said, and I believed her.
I asked about Tinka’s father, not to pry, but because it seemed like something else she needed to say. She shrugged, a little embarrassed. “Just a fling. I found out I was pregnant after he was gone. I raised her the best I could, alone. Told myself we didn’t need him. And we managed. But…” She sighed, looking at her boots. “Sometimes I wonder if I robbed her of something. If I should’ve tried to find him.”
My heart ached for her, for the weight of all these what-ifs. “From what you’ve said, Tinka’s strong and fearless. She’s going to be okay. And she knows you love her, right?”
Lily looked at me then, and something in her eyes eased. “Yeah,” she said, voice just above a whisper. “I think she does.”
We walked on for a while, not needing to fill the silence. The sun had started its slow descent, turning the fields and trees a softer shade of gold. A warm breeze brushed over us, carrying the smell of wildflowers and hay, as if the world was trying to tell us it wasn’t all bad. And maybe it wasn’t. Maybe there were quiet moments of kindness, even when everything else felt impossible.
I kept sneaking glances at Lily, noticing how her posture eased as we settled into the quiet, her shoulders not quite as tense. Without the fire or the night sky, without the urgent need to survive hanging right over our heads, I could see her more clearly now. She wasn’t just scars and stories or that wary look in her eye. She was a person who’d been hurt—and who’d kept going anyway. It made me feel protective and in awe, all at once.
She caught me looking once, and I half expected her to roll her eyes or make some snarky comment. But instead, her lips curved into something that might’ve been a smile, just shy of it, like she didn’t know if she was allowed to feel okay. I smiled back, just a small tilt of my mouth, letting her know I wasn’t judging, just glad to be there.
Eventually, the questions I’d been dancing around couldn’t stay quiet anymore. I took a breath and asked about the scars—softly, carefully. I didn’t want to poke at old wounds, but I wanted to understand. I wanted to know the things that shaped her, the memories that echoed when she was quiet.
Her answer came slowly, like it hurt to push the words out. A wolf shapeshifter, a fight in the woods, someone named Dina who she tried to save and couldn’t. Her voice was quieter than I’d ever heard it, and each syllable felt like it carried a weight of its own. She didn’t look at me while she talked, and I understood why. This wasn’t just a story, it was something lodged inside her, something raw and personal.
I listened, not moving, not daring to break the moment with some empty reassurance. The way her voice trembled on Dina’s name said more than I could ever fix with words. I knew what it was like to carry that kind of regret, to hold someone’s memory too close.
When she finished, I found myself speaking just as softly. “I’m sorry.” It felt like the only thing worth saying, because it was true. Hearing about Dina—and about the scars and what they stood for—made my chest tighten. I thought of Aldara, and how I’d never really healed from losing her, either. The loss just learned to sit quietly inside me, like a passenger I’d stopped trying to kick out.
Lily turned to me, her eyes meeting mine this time, and I saw something there that hadn’t been before. Maybe recognition, or understanding. Maybe just relief that she wasn’t the only one who knew what it felt like to fail someone you loved. We didn’t talk about it much, but in that look, we said everything: I know it hurts. I know you’re still carrying it. Me too.
After that, the heaviness between us changed shape. It wasn’t gone, but it was shared now. We walked a bit farther in silence, letting the quiet settle. The birds kept singing, and the sun kept dipping lower, and the world didn’t stop because of our grief. Somehow, that made it easier to keep moving forward.
At some point, I tried for a smile, something small and hopeful. “If we ever run into trouble again,” I said lightly, “I’ll do my best. I may not be the best fighter, but I’m stubborn enough to slow something down, at least.”
That coaxed a snort of amusement out of her, and I realized how much I liked the sound. “You’d better,” she said, her tone almost playful. “I’m counting on you to distract whatever’s out there while I do the hard work.”
I chuckled, shaking my head. The banter felt good, like stretching a sore muscle that was finally starting to heal. We kept walking, side by side, our shadows growing long across the dirt road. The fields swayed gently, the forest rustled softly, and somewhere in the distance, the sky was folding itself into dusk.
We didn’t have all the answers. We didn’t know what tomorrow would look like. But right now, we were here, walking together. And that felt human in all the best ways—imperfect and hopeful, painful and comforting, all at once. It made me think that maybe, against all odds, we were going to be okay.
We kept walking, the sky turning all those colors I used to love back home—pale oranges, warm pinks, the kind of colors that make you feel like everything might be okay, just for a minute. I don’t know what made me speak up then—maybe it was the quiet, or maybe it was the way Lily felt like someone who could actually hear me. But suddenly I was talking, my voice soft under that wide-open sky.
“I miss my friends back home,” I said, surprising myself with how raw it sounded. The words came out quieter than I intended, like I was testing them in the air. Lily glanced over, and I could feel her attention land on me, steady and kind. She didn’t push, didn’t rush me. Just waited, the way a good friend does.
So I told her about them—about Yoongi, who was like the world’s most reliable anchor, keeping me steady when everything else felt like it was slipping. About Jin, who could find the funny in anything, who could make us laugh even when we were scared or tired or heartbroken. And Wendy—bright, restless Wendy with her wild ideas and big plans, always dragging us off on some adventure. I could almost see them as I spoke, like they were walking beside me again, their laughter drifting on the breeze.
Lily nodded at all the right times, and when she smiled, it didn’t feel forced. “They sound like a pretty unforgettable group,” she said softly, and just hearing that was enough to loosen some knot in my chest.
I tried to paint the picture for her: the bonfires on the beach near Syrena, the nights we stayed up way too late teasing each other and making grand plans. There’d been complications, too—Wendy’s unreturned crush on Yoongi, her eventual relationship with Jin—but somehow, we always found a way through. I told Lily about how our families and covens intertwined, how the celebrations felt like home in a way words couldn’t really describe.
My voice caught a little when I admitted how much I missed them. “Do you think they remember me?” I asked, my gaze dropping to the gravel road under our boots. It was a silly question, maybe, but I couldn’t help it. The world felt so different now, and the idea that maybe I’d faded in their memories hurt more than I wanted to admit.
Lily nudged me, her shoulder against mine. “They haven’t forgotten,” she said simply. “People don’t just forget someone they love. One day you’ll see them again, and it’ll feel like you never left.”
I looked at her, and there was something about the way she said it—so matter-of-fact and sincere—that made it easier to breathe. I smiled, small but real. “You think so?”
She grinned, a soft twinkle in her eye. “I know so. Besides, you’re kind of hard to forget.” She winked, and I laughed, feeling lighter.
It was like, for a second, I could let myself imagine that future—coming home, stepping back into my old life, picking berries in my garden, laughing with Wendy, teasing Yoongi, rolling my eyes at Jin’s jokes. It didn’t feel so impossible when Lily said it out loud.
Then I told her about Taehyung, how he hid at my cottage for a summer after his pack rejected him. How he’d become like family to me, full of jokes and life, shrugging off pain like it was nothing. And Jimin—just saying his name made my throat tighten. I whispered how much I missed him, how I hoped we could be together again someday, even though I was scared I might not live long enough to see that day come.
Lily’s hand found my arm, a gentle, human touch. “You’ve made it this far,” she said quietly, “you can keep going. And I’m right here.”
That did something to me—put a crack in the walls I’d built to keep the fear in. I nodded, my eyes stinging a little. Her belief felt like a gift I didn’t know I needed.
I let myself talk about Cadoc, the air elemental who’d helped me escape when things got bad. How he was distant and weird and not really what I’d call a friend at first, but when it counted, he showed up. It made me ache in a good way, remembering all these people, all these pieces of home.
“God, I’m homesick,” I muttered, pressing a hand to my chest like I could hold the feeling in place. The fields and forests around us were beautiful, sure, but they weren’t mine. They weren’t my cottage, my garden, my friends. They weren’t the place where I felt safe and seen.
Lily understood—at least, as much as anyone could. She nodded, her expression softening. “I get it,” she said. “But you’re not alone right now. You’ve got me, and I’m sticking around.”
I smiled at her, gratitude swelling inside me. It felt strange and comforting at the same time, to find a friend here and now, on this dusty road far from home.
So I told her more. I described my cottage in the woods, the tiny garden where I grew strawberries and herbs, the little bird named Patto who sang at my window every morning, and the doe, Delinah, who sneaked in to nibble at my plants. I tried to show Lily that part of me—the quiet mornings, the light filtering through the branches, the feeling that maybe the world wasn’t such a hard place after all.
She listened like it mattered, like these details helped her understand me. “It sounds perfect,” she said softly, and I could tell she meant it.
“I just want to go back,” I admitted, my voice catching. “I want to feel that peace again, sit in my garden, and just… be home.”
Lily’s hand on my shoulder again, a small squeeze. “We’ll get you there,” she said, her voice steady. “I promise.”
I looked at her, tears threatening at the corners of my eyes. “You should come with me,” I said impulsively, imagining how she’d fit into that picture—Lily talking to Wendy, bantering with Jin, rolling her eyes at Yoongi’s calm demeanor. “You belong there, too. Or at least… I’d like you there.”
She raised an eyebrow, then smiled. “I think I’d like that. Someone’s gotta keep an eye on you, right?”
I laughed, and it came out easy. For once, I didn’t feel like I had to carry every burden alone. The sun dipped lower, its light softer now, painting the world in gentle hues. We kept walking, our pace unhurried, the road stretching ahead. And as the day gave way to twilight, I realized something: I wasn’t just hoping for home anymore—I was starting to believe I might actually find it. And when I did, I wouldn’t be alone.
We walked in a kind of hush that wasn’t uncomfortable at all—just quiet, like the world around us was catching its breath. The trees arched overhead, the sky softened into evening, and somewhere a bird was singing a last, sweet note before settling in for the night. When Lily spoke, it was almost surprising, but not unwelcome. It felt like we were in a safe place now—somewhere we could let the past peek through the cracks.
“You know,” she said, her voice low and thoughtful, “I had a place like that once. Not quite a cottage, but… it was an old cabin by a pond. More like a shack, really. Dina and I used to hide out there, away from her mother. We’d fish in the mornings, sit by the fire at night, and pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist. It wasn’t fancy, but it felt like ours.”
I glanced over at her, half expecting the usual guarded look, but what I found was something gentler. Her gaze was distant, aimed somewhere past the horizon. “That sounds amazing,” I said softly, meaning it. I could almost picture it: the quiet water reflecting the sky, the hush of two friends passing time without any hurry. “Do you ever think about going back?”
Lily’s shoulders lifted in a small shrug. “Sometimes. But it’s not the same without her.” Her voice had that quiet tremor people get when they talk about someone they lost long ago but still miss every day. “I just keep the memories now. They’re easier to carry than trying to hold onto the place itself.”
My hand reached out almost on its own, my fingers brushing her arm. The contact felt real and kind of important, but also so normal. “I’m sorry,” I said softly, not wanting to stir up old pain. “I didn’t mean—”
She shook her head, a sad but understanding smile on her lips. “It’s okay. It’s been a long time. And places like that—they never really leave you, you know? They get inside you. Like your cottage is inside you, shaping who you are.”
I nodded, something tight in my chest easing a little. “I think so, too. Those places become part of us. They give us strength when everything else is falling apart.”
She looked at me then, really looked at me, her eyes less distant now and more… present. “And maybe when this is over, we can find new places. Make new memories. Together.”
I smiled, feeling the warmth of that word—together—spread through me like a gentle flame. “I’d like that,” I whispered, almost too quietly, but I knew she heard.
We kept walking. The road stretched out and out, but it didn’t feel endless in a bad way anymore. More like a promise than a threat. I thought about my old home, and about Lily’s cabin, and about all the strange, in-between times that had led us here. Maybe somewhere ahead there was a new home waiting for both of us—one that smelled like fresh earth and summer flowers, where laughter and conversation felt effortless. Maybe Tinka would be there, too. Maybe it’d be bright and warm, the birds singing in the trees, and maybe it’d be summer so we could celebrate Litha together, the way old friends and new friends do.
The sky was sliding into night, one star after another winking into place. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something flash across the darkness, quick and bright.
“Look,” Lily said, pointing up. “A shooting star.”
I tilted my head back just in time to catch the tail end of it. I closed my eyes and made a wish—several wishes, actually. For home, for peace, for the life I longed to return to, and for a future where Lily and Tinka could settle into my old cottage while I moved into Jimin’s place nearby. Where the hybrids would live close enough to visit for dinner, and the birds would sing every morning. Where the first Litha we spent together tasted of smreka and hope. I held those wishes close, like seeds I wanted to plant in my heart.
When I opened my eyes, Lily was watching me with a half-smile. “Did you make a wish?”
I nodded, a small grin tugging at my lips. “Yeah, I did.”
“Good,” she said, turning her gaze to the sky, her voice lighter now. “I made one too. I have a feeling they’ll come true.”
And just like that, the world felt a bit kinder. We walked on, guided by starlight and the quiet certainty that we weren’t walking alone anymore. The future still felt big and uncertain, but I had hope like a steady pulse in my chest. I had Lily’s hand close enough to reach for if I stumbled. I had the memory of my old home inside me, and I had the promise that maybe we’d find something just as special in the days to come.
Taglist: @greezenini @adventures-in-bookland @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @zae007live@jimin-neverout @nikkiordonez12 @canarystwin @yamekomz @chimthicc @michiiedreamer @amorieus @mima795 @yunki-yunki-yunki
© chimcess, 2024. Do not copy or repost without permission.
#bts#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts fic#park jimin#bts x reader#bts fics#jung hoseok#min yoongi#jimin x reader#jimin x y/n#jimin x you#bts x you#bts x y/n#bts x fem!reader#bts x oc#bts supernatural au#bts fantasy au#bts au#bts werewolf au#bts witch au#jimin werewolf au#werewolf jimin#witch reader#angst#smut#fluff#bts smut#jeon jungkook#kim namjoon
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
Whole new exposure
Helloooooooooo everyone! So for this fic, I decided to combine two requests since it makes so much sense to me, and also for how opposite they are to each other. Here are the requests!
Request A: can you do Sully family or Na’vi with a goth reader? this is the same person who asked for the goth reader. I know Slipknot and korn isn’t goth but can like can the reader listen to them or just metal?
Request B: can you please do Sully family with a gyaru reader?
Now I had to do a lot of research about the Gyaru culture since I don't know SHIT about it. But hopefully this fic is enjoyable for everyone!
BTW THIS TAKES PLACE IN MODERN ERA!!!
------------------
The sully kids all huddled on their family couch, peaking out to see the house across the street. It was a nice house, a two story home recently renovated. Only a few days into the market and in a snap it was sold. Today was the day the Sully family got new neighbors. Moving trucks were starting to pull up on the drive way, movers beginning to put furniture and other stuff inside.
“You think they have kids?” Tuk asks as she shares her snack with spider. The blonde boy in question shrugs, “who knows tuktuk, but I hope they are nice” he says. Everyone nods in agreement.
“Oh, maybe they are like lawyers or some big boss to afford to live in this neighborhood” lo’ak says. True to it, they live in a nice neighborhood that is upscale, calm and quiet.
“Who knows, but remember what mom and dad said. We have to give our new neighbors the full Sully welcome, " Neteyam says. And as they all watched, a van pulled up to the driveway and four people walked out. There they were, their new neighbors.
“What in Eywa’s name are those?” Kiri asks as she stares at the new neighbors. Well, two of them to be more specific. The new neighbors consisted of a mother, a father, and two daughters that seem to be around her and lo’ak’s age.
“Maybe instead of staring at them like creeps, we should go and greet ourselves? The cookies are ready so why not do it now?” Spider suggests. A small moment of silence passed before the siblings reached a conclusion.
“Fine, but I swear if that creepy girl appears in my nightmares, I'm moving to grandma’s” Lo’ak says as he stares at one of the girls. Tuk runs happily to get her tray of cookies she baked with the help of Kiri and their mother. Already imagining how she will greet her new neighbors.
“Come on baby bro, lets go greet them” neteyam says as he pats lo’aks shoulder. Grunting out his mask, when really he was just as excited as everyone else. So everyone prepares the needed welcoming and make their way to their new neighbors home.
“Halloooo~!”
“Sup”
The sully kids were really at a loss for words. Tuk, who is even the more social butterfly among the siblings, couldn't find the words to greet them back.
Why?
Because the new neighbors were nothing like what they expected. Two girls stood in front of them. One of them had exaggerated bleach blonde hair with massive curls, decorated in prettys bows. Tan skin, save for the pale areas around the eyes. Light pink lip color, Lisa frank esk style with multiple colors and animal patterns and fuzzy shoes. Long colorful nails with various patterns and beaded gems and glitter.
The other was the complete opposite.
Super pale skin, black lipstick color, dark eyeshadow, dark goth clothing with a band shirt of the classical band “Slipknot”. Chains on her skirt and dont forget her massive 5 inch boots with belts all over it. Choker around her neck and more belt bracelets. Long but sharp black nails with a more simple tone yet so shiny.
“Um…hi, welcome to our neighborhood….” Spider said out slowly, still trying to process what he is seeing.
The hyper pink girl gladly took the tray of cookies that tuk offered. “Thank you so much Nya~!”
“Stop it”
“Make me”
“Sorry for the mess, we are still unpacking” the goth girl says as she opens the doors for the sully kids. Everyone walks inside to see the house, clearly it has been renovated and the smell of fresh pain along with stacks of boxes and unopened stuff laying around.
“What are your names?” the pink girl asks. And everyone introduces themselves just like how their parents taught them in a polite manner.
“What are your names??” Tuk asks, her nervousness went away. The goth girl pointed at herself, “you can call me ‘Zila’”.
The pink girl snickered a bit, holding in a laugh, “yeah, like godzilla”.
Zila slapped her sister on the shoulder, making the pink girl squeak in surprise. “Shut up, you know it means something else”.
Kiri looked at the pink girl and smiles, “what about you?” she asks.
With a small twirl on her hair, the pink girl happily answers “You can call me Asobi”. Zila rolled her eyes, “Junko would have been much better” she says. Asobi taps her sisters head like a kid, “nope, Asobi is leagues better than her”.
A few seconds of silence passes by.
“So…. want a tour of our place?” Zila asks.
After a couple of minutes touring their home, kiri took note that in the living area, kitchen, and guest bathrooms were all surprisingly normal. Neutral colors of greens and browns, giving a peaceful, calm vibes to the place. Something Kiri has come to like.
“So that concludes our home” Zila says as she claps her hands in a swinging manner. Asobi stands beside her, rolling her heels back and forth.
“Nu uh! What about your rooms? I wanna see” Tuk whines while stomping her feet. Neteyam was quick to shush her, even picking her up. “Sorry about my sister, she can be a bit nosey in places where she isn't supposed to be” Neteyam apologizes on tuk’s behalf.
Asobi giggled a bit, going over to playfully pinch tuk’s cheeks, making tuk laugh a bit in return. “It's ok, we dont mind showing our room. Come here sweet pea” neteyam easily hands tuk over to Asobi as she happily accepts the child. Zila shrugs, not really caring at the moment. “Come on, back to the hall” Zila guided the group.
Lo’ak sighs and walks up to asobi, “you don't have to give into her every whim. She is already spoiled by everyone in the family” he kindly warns. Tuk narrows her eyes on lo’ak as she sticks her tongue out at him. Making lo’ak doing the same in return. This little antic made Asobi giggles again. She pats tuk’s head, “its ok, Tuk is the baby of your family right? She deserves to be spoiled like a princess”. Tuk happily agreed with her statement.
Down the hall they reached two doors. One was painted black with crimson accent trims, the other door was pink with light pinkish white trims.
“Soooo…which one do you guys want to see?” Zela asks. The sully kids took a moment, having a silent conversation.
“That one” They all said in unison. Kiri and neteyam were pointing at Zila’s door, while spider and tuk were pointing at Asobi’s room. Lo’ak was pointing at both of the doors. The two sisters looked at each other then back at the five kids. Asobi puts tuk down and both do a quick rock-paper-scissors game, Asobi wins, thus opening her door first.
“Welcome to my-”
“Candy core rotten teething hell of a room-”
“Realm~!”
Asobi enters her room, expanding her arms to show the full view of her room. And the Sully kids were having mixed reactions.
“Oh wow….”
“It's sooo…..”
“Ummmm….”
“I LOVE IT!!”
Tuk, without hesitation, ran inside of Asobi’s bedroom and danced around, letting out another round of laughs and admiring every little thing. “It's like a princess room!” she shouts in excitement. Kiri inwardly hissed, “tuk! Don't go into her room like that!” she scolds, but Asobi shrugs. “It's ok, she seems to have fun anyways” Asobi says, “come on, you’re welcomed in” she encourages.
Walking over, Asobi starts to show some items to tuk, to which the child happily admires every bit. It was like a dream bedroom!
To kiri, it looked like a unicorn vomited everywhere. She can already smell the cotton candy scent emitting from the pink room. While it is cute, and definitely something Tuk would love to have, its way too much. Lo’ak and spider believed they would have pink eyes from so much pink going on. Neteyam being polite, rather than not having much opinion about the pink hell heaven room.
“So what is your room like?” Lo’ak asks to Zila. A little huff escapes her black lips and smirk forms. “Welcome to my little peace and quiet” Zila says while she opens her door.
If the outfits weren't enough to tell just how different the girls were, the rooms were a definite confirmation. Unlike Asobi’s chaotic room, Zila’s room gave away a sense of calmness but definit not a full chill, comfy place either.
“You guys are welcome to come in too, nothing here will bite you” Zila says as she lays on her bed.
“What about scaring us?” Spider says in a nervous manner. There were two creepy looking dolls near the window. Something straight out of a paranormal horror movie. Zila looks over at her dolls. “Oh them, don't worry. I checked if they were haunted when I bought them. They aren't” she answers.
Lo’ak raised an eyebrow, why does she sound so disappointed?
Kiri looks around from the doorway, peeking in. It was a bit cold in Zila’s room, but less noisy and minimal stuff going on.
“Got music to play? Its pretty quiet” lo’ak asks. Neteyam hit him on the back of the head, making lo’ak groan. “I have CD’s on that shelf, knock yourself out”.
“Slipknot, slipknot, Black Veil Brides, slipknot, Rosetta Stone, Bauhaus, the cute, Pierce the Veil, ACDC, slipknot, within temptation, leaves eyes, oh, even baby metal” spider was listing off many band names of Zila’s collection. So say she wasn't picky in what she likes. And clearly a big fan of Slipknot with how many albums she has.
“Yeah, still exploring different alternatives” Zila’s replies as she paints lo’aks nails black. Neteyam was chilling in her black velvet couch as he takes in all the stuff she has and the vibes she accomplished. However his curiosity was cut short when tuk and Asobi entered the room.
“Look look! Asobi gave me a makeover!” Tuk happily shouted. Her braids were full of cute little bows, every color you can imagine, a rainbow tutu with way too many bracelets on each arm. And light colored makeup, only a bit of eyeshadow and pink rosey dust on her cheeks. “And she gave me a manicure!” showing off tuk’s nails which were a mix of blue and pink.
Tuk skips over to her siblings to show off her new looks, kiri looks over at Asobi with a slight concern expression. “Don't worry, the makeup is vegan, and the nail polish can be easily wash away in a few hours” Asobi treasures. “Oh yeah, that's one thing you can count on. Any makeup, nail polish, other products, it's all vegan and certified animal cruelty free” Zila informs as she finishes lo’ak’s nails.
“Huh….thats actually nice” Kiri mutters. Tuk twirls around and sees Zila’s old Victorian doll house. Quietly she goes over to the girl and nervously asks “can…can I play with it?”.
Neteyam sighs and leans forward to reach out for tuk, “come on tuk, you already had enough-”
“Yeah sure go ahead” Zila happily answers.
Neteyam slightly frowned at that, only for zila to smile at him a bit smugly. “What? She is the baby, no?” zila asks in a bit of a playful mockery. Turning to tuk, zila says “if there is anything you want tuk, just ask alright? No need to be scared”. Tuk nodded happily and went on to play with the doll house.
Spider rubbed his chin as he observed Asobi and Zila chatting about something. Seeing how they behave and still wonder how the hell they are related.
“Are you two really sisters?” spider asks so suddenly. Lo’ak and kiri were quick to hit him on the head, “SPIDER/BRO!” the two shouted in unison. Spider hissed from the pain he received but was quick to defend himself, “what? C’mon! They are totally different! I get it! Kiri and I are different too but we have similar styles and shit! So it's really confusing to me!”.
Asobi lets out a fit of laughter, holding her stomach as she falls back on zila’s bed. Zila on the other hand was covering her mouth to hide her laughter. Spider couldn't help but blush a little, did he make a fool of himself?
“Oh my…!! Hahahaha! Oh boy this will never ever get old..!! Pfft….HAHAHA” Asobi let out another round of laughter.
“Indeed, it still amazes me that people are still unconvinced” Zila agrees. After a few minutes, the sisters calmed down. “Hey, how about some tea? All this talking is drying my throat” Zila suggests. Everyone agrees and heads to the kitchen to prepare some tea.
Everyone sat down in the half empty living room with foldable chairs and one plastic covered couch. Having a few sips of green tea, all the excitement slowly calming down.
“So to answer your question spider…” zila says first, dragging a bit of her sentence. Asobi sits next to zila, in a criss-cross manner. Her hands warm from her tea cup, “we are most definitely related” Asobi answers. However, doubt is still there.
“Look, we get the same reaction all the time. Yes our styles are very different, yes our manners are different, and yes our vibes are basically the opposite of each other” Zila goes on to say.
“But that is it. That is the limit. Just because our lifestyles are different, that doesn't mean our blood makes it just as different. We were born and raised in the same way, neither of us are better than the other. We just like our own styles” Asobi finishes.
“Yup. My style is alternative goth” Zila points at her clothes, Asobi does the same “and my style is gyaru. We Like to go all the way, down to our way of sleeping and living” Asobi explains.
“But why…?” Tuk asks.
“Why not?” the sisters as in unison.
“Much like how you guys have your own style, so do we. Our styles define who each of us our, and live it like that”
“We like what we do and not be swayed by the normies”.
“We live like how we want to live”
“Kids come down, they will be here any minute so get your act together” Jake shouts from the kitchen. It was evening as he and neytiri prepared the dining room, making sure that they looked their best for the arriving guests.
Upstairs in game room where the sully siblings were at, all checking each other that no a hair was out of place. Yet at the same time they were each holding a different amount of guilt.
“Were we too mean or rude…?” Lo’ak asks. Clearly asking the question everyone was thinking. “I want to say no but…we might have” Kiri answers. Neteyam scratches the back of his head, “Tomorrow we should apologize, it's the right thing to do” he suggests. Silently everyone agrees, and with that, they all head downstairs.
And right on time as well.
As the last sully reached the living room, the door bell was heard.
“Show time” Jake says as he opens the door.
New voices were heard, neytiri and jake greeting whoever came.
“Come come, meet our children” Neytiri says a bit loudly, signaling her children to stand up.
And entering the living room was a family of four. A man, a woman, and two identical daughters. Exact same hair color, same facial features, wearing wine red long sleeve summer dresses with matching black shoes.
“Hello children, I am Mr. Obeni, my wife Mrs. Obeni, and our lovely twin daughters, Zila and Asobi”
“Halloooo~!”
“Sup”
“WHAT?!”
Sorry if this took a bit, had to keep going back to make sure I got the goth and Gyaru culture down. However I like how this turned out, until next time! See ya!
-------------
Zila = Meaning “shadow” in Hebrew
Asobi = from the anime "Lords or Pastimers"
#avatar#avatar the way of water#na'vi x reader#na'vi avatar#avatar 2#na'vi x human#lo'ak#kiri#neteyam sully#jake sully#neytiri sully#neteyam x human reader#neteyam x reader#neteyam x you#neteyam x y/n#neteyam x na'vi!reader#kiri x sister!reader#kiri x reader#kiri x spider#kiri x y/n#kiri x you#lo'ak x fem!reader#lo'ak x reader#lo'ak x you#lo'ak x y/n#lo'ak x tsireya#tuk x human reader#tuk x sister!reader#tuk x reader#spider soccoro sully
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
re-ignition (II)
miguel o'hara x reader word count:1k a/n: sorry about my disappearance, things were super hectic and I lowkey had writer's block. i plan on posting, not as often as i used to, but every now and then when i get inspired (every few weeks or so, though i might post a little more now that i am on school break). make no mistake, i am still not over this man.
There was hardly any consolation you could find in the cluttered closet you were confined to. Faint voices could be heard from the outside, but speaking up would only cause trouble.
After all, you weren't supposed to be here.
Neither of you were.
"Why is Lyla offline? I didn't think you'd be the type to program her to have a vacation break." You asked, maybe with a harsher tone than you had intended.
"She's not."
One thing you had noted, other than the amount of cardboard boxes on the metal shelves you had been counting, was that in the entirety of the thirty-three minutes you had been stuck here, Miguel O'hara had not looked at you once.
He paused for a long while, seemingly as though he had no more to say about the subject, before he finally added, "Lyla's just...being a pain in the ass. She's not going to answer, at least for a while."
"Oh. Okay."
You looked around, before standing up and dusting off briefly before trying to push the door.
"What are you doing? We've already tried that. It isn't going to work." His words were on the verge of annoyance, more on your end than on his own.
"Well, I don't see you coming up with anything better."
"Jessica will probably notice we've been gone for too long."
"That will take too long." You responded, grunting as you tried to push off whatever was blocking the door.
"Please, like you've got anything else to do."
Oh, that one stung. Asshole.
Still, his words were true.
Since your return, all you had been assigned was recruit training in the mornings, a schedule he knew you disliked, and hanging around the lounge, hoping Jessica or Peter felt guilty enough to invite you on their missions.
Which, as you had expected, was not a decision up to them.
This had been your one chance to prove you were capable of coming back to your regular schedules of taking on three, even four anomalies daily. And for some reason out of your control, you screwed it up. Again.
You turned around, hoping the irritation showed on your expression.
"And who's fault is that?" You asked.
"Any lack of assignments are due to your lack of skill and commitment." He responded nonchalantly yet firmly, his gaze fixed on the floor.
"I was only gone two months. And I was still spider-woman there, so it's not like I quit entirely. You're just salty because you wanted to mix business with pleasure, and it didn't work out the way you wanted."
The words left your mouth before it dawned on you what you had just said.
And this seemed to finally grab his attention.
His gaze focused on you, his brows furrowed as he stood up and walked over to you.
(His eyes looked darker, you thought. Maybe it was the dim lighting that had softened the dark red hues, settling for an intense brown.)
By the time he stopped, only inches seemed to separate you, a deafening silence consuming the space between.
"Something like that takes two to work, doesn't it?" His husky voiced lowered, irritation in his tone.
For a moment, he didn't sound at all like the man you had left months ago. He seemed colder, meaner in a way that left a sting on your chest, his words cold sharp ice that pierced through the thick defense you had been building around him lately.
"I've seen you train. You lack the precision and strategy you once had. So, no, I haven't been assigning you on missions, and if you think it's due to other circumstances, maybe you should reevaluate who is the salty one here."
His tone emphasized the last few words.
Fuck.
You couldn't say anything back.
How could you? It was dumb to assume he was still hurt. It had been two months, and he was right: your skills had deteriorated, especially with the lack of crime in your dimension. He had seen it, or so he claimed, because you had never seen him at the training center.
(Then again, you supposed the leader of the Spider Society would be stealthy enough to pass by unnoticed.)
He clicked his tongue as he saw your lack of a response, and turned back to sit down. This time, you were the one who could not look him in the eye. You sighed, and walked over to the other corner of the small space (which did nothing, as there were still a few feet separating you), slumping down onto the floor in defeat.
You hated this.
Hated that he still somehow had this effect on you, that he could be so infuriatingly right and annoying at the same time.
He was over it, he had to be - he was over you, over whatever had taken place in similar settings months ago.
And then again, maybe the problem here wasn't him letting go over you walking away.
Maybe the problem is that you wanted there to be more, when you and him knew exactly why there couldn't be. Why there shouldn't be.
Your actions and your words, despite how indifferent you had thought them to be, had biased roots that tugged at you and made it clear this wasn't just nothing to you.
After all, the fluttering you felt in your stomach had failed to gone away, even now.
A few minutes of silence followed, serving as time for you to finally gather the courage to speak.
"Miguel, I-"
As if on cue, an interruption came in the form of a small figure with heart-shaped glasses and an oversized lab coat, an orange glow surrounding her.
"Hey boss, needed me?" she chirped, filing her nails.
"Lyla, send over someone to get us out of here. Something's blocking the door." Miguel responded, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
Lyla lifted her glasses slightly, with a teasing grin on her lips. "Alrighty, did you figure out things with--"
"Enough has been said already, and there is no need. Send someone, now."
"Okay, okay. They'll be there in a sec." She rolled her eyes and disappeared, leaving the closet dim again.
Not long after, a metal pang was heard outside, and you saw light flood into the room as the door swung open. You looked over to Miguel, who clearly looked bothered enough as he quickly stood up and headed towards the exit.
You sighed, and followed after him.
Your smooth return wasn't going to be as easy as you thought.
#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara atsv#atsv#across the spiderverse#spiderman atsv#spiderman 2099#miguel spiderman#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel x reader
42 notes
·
View notes
Note
Lord. Today has been such a day. I hope it's ok to just rant about it here, if not obviously feel free to delete!!
Got woken up at 1am because my mom needed to go to the ER for excruciating pain. So we load up and I take her. It takes an HOUR for them to even pay her any mind- and it's not because it was busy. We live in a small town, and there was literally nobody there waiting to be seen. We think they were ignoring her because she looked like she was having drug withdrawals (shaking, pale, she couldn't stop moving/fidgeting). They only came out to see her when I brought my little brother in, and they realized that she wasn't just there to try and get meds from the hospital (this is all speculation ofc, but I really can't imagine any other reason that 'nobody saw her'). I'm still so mad because she sat there for so long, crying in pain (my mom NEVER cries, so that's how I could tell it was really bad) and nobody even bothered to check on her for over an hour. It took another hour for her to get any pain relief and while the nurses were all really nice, I'm still incredibly upset that she had to endure it for so long.
Anyways. Mom's going to be fine, she's getting flown to a better hospital a couple hours away to get the problem dealt with. That's all good. I'm staying home with my brother, and my aunt is going to pick her up later today (hopefully; it might take a few more days). The only issue is that I'll need to meet with my little brothers father (not my dad) to drop him off for the weekend, and I hate the guy, but I can easily ignore him so it's fine.
I think it's the stress of coordinating 4 different people's schedules that put me so on edge (my aunt needs to know when my mom is leaving, my sister is coming 1400 miles to Nevada from Texas, my little brother needs to do his homework/get ready to go/be dropped off). Family keeps calling me because I'm the one who lives with my mom, but I don't have any updates, because I'm home looking after my brother. I feel terrible that I can't tell them anything else, but it's still frustrating when I'm trying to get the house cleaned up, take care of a worried 7-year-old, and answer calls just to repeat the same thing.
The final straw though was one of my cats. When my brother and I finally got home around 8am, we were having breakfast. I look over, and my cat is peeing on my moms lunchbox. I freaked out, because that's disgusting, and he had NO reason to do that- their box is perfectly clean, he's not a serial pee monster, he's never been in competition with the other cats. I don't understand why today, of all days, he would choose to make a mess.
I've spent the past hour and a half trying to clean it by hand because I can't just throw it in the washing machine (it has a cloth outside, but its not removable). He ALSO managed to pee on my brother's homework tower (a short, plastic 'filing cabinet' with drawers we keep his stuff in), and of course, it got inside some of the drawers. Luckily the only stuff I had to throw away was some construction paper and white printer paper, and the rest was untouched, but I still had to clean up a MASSIVE puddle of cat pee on the floor, and empty + wipe out four of the drawers.
So. Anyways. I'm not feeling solution-oriented right now, I'm just really angry that this is all happening at once and there's not really anything within my control besides making sure my brother keeps to his schedule. At least he's not too worried, but I've kind of been avoiding talking to him at the moment because I feel like I might snap at him when it's not his fault at all. I'm also avoiding the cat because, while I would never hurt an animal for doing something dumb, I'm still so mad about it. I'd much rather he'd have peed on something of mine.
Now I just feel super on edge, and I keep waiting for ANOTHER bad thing to happen, because at this point it just feels like the universe is out for blood. It's not even noon yet. It's barely 10am
I'm so sorry about all of this. Anti addict ableism is completely unacceptable and literally kills people. It's not like an addict can't ALSO be in excruciating pain/genuinely need urgent care. I'm glad your mom will be okay, but it makes me furious that she was neglected for hours because of prejudices against a potential addiction. And I completely understand that you're not in a good place right now. I'm sorry about the pee situation also, though it's important for me to note that the cat didn't CHOOSE to "make a mess" just to bother you - either he was a bit ill or it was simply an unfortunate accident.
#chat with kat#addiction tw#drugs tw#medical neglect tw#medical abuse tw#bodily fluids tw#unsanitary tw#pee tw
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
secondly, sorry for wilder hiatus #345. weirdly enough, nothing to do with my living situation for once.
recently learned that someone i've known for 2.5 years who i considered my closest online friend before coming into this community - who i followed into every fandom they asked, to write specific niche characters they wanted to ship with - dropped me because, for the first time, i joined an rpc for a fandom they have absolutely no interest in, and have made more friends for once.
should have seen it coming, honestly - i remember explicitly trying to do threads with them using characters that i was super interested in writing for once... who they very obviously couldn't have cared less about (ex. didn't ask any questions, i kept having to lead the convo because i got one-line responses, kept saying things like "i don't know" or "we'll see", would just straight-up stop replying to those threads, etc.). it happened, like, four times - including me trying to tell them about my muses in this fandom.
which is fine, obviously forcing people to write things they don't want to is bad and i definitely wouldn't want to do it to someone i consider a friend - but essentially saying "you muse characters i don't care about/don't know how to interact with, and also made more friends - which should be a good thing considering they know how lonely i was having only them to talk to - therefore we shouldn't be friends after 2.5 years of getting to know each other outside of just writing" is wild.
oh yeah, and they decided all of this without telling me.
i assumed i did something horrifically wrong - because why else would someone you've known for 2.5 years and was very close with want to just immediately cut you off rather than communicate/fix things unless there's nothing that could be fixed - so i added them back prepared to give an apology, just to see if they would add me back.
nope. they just decided that i must not want to be their friend and we had nothing in common anymore because 'you seem busy with your other friends'......... without communicating with me about the status of said friendship, not bothering to initiate any conversations of their own, and being completely disinterested in the things i tried to excitedly share with them.
-
part of me is frustrated because "what do you mean we've known each other this long and you couldn't tell me any of this so we could talk it out like adults", and part of me is just.... really upset about it, because it genuinely just feels like we were only friends so long as i was interested in the things they were interested in and writing the muses they wanted me to write - and also apparently having no online close friendships, save for my friendship with them.
i'm a little depresso expresso about it.
#‘ 001. ’ (out of character)#negative //#vent //#hopefully i can get back to doing things before my birthday on the 14th
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Writer Interview
I got tagged by @forget-me-maybe and @pouroverpaloma, thank you for the tag!!! I'm sorry that I definitely may have overshared!!
When did you start writing?
This is going to sound cliche but, since I learned how to write at all, I think? I distinctly remember that I got in trouble when I was about six years old, because I took a photo album that had nice sturdy paper pages from the laundry room and wrote a mystery story in it. I remember it was a mystery because on every other page I colored my own version of the old transitions they’d do in cartoons, with a question mark with concentric colorful circles around it lol. Strangely vivid memory of those transition pages, I think I was very proud of them.
But I’ve been writing and “illustrating” pretty much my entire life. I started writing fanfiction in middle school or highschool, and that’s what I’ve always liked writing the most.
Then I decided to get a creative writing degree, which then led me to developing both a god complex and a crippling sense of perfectionism and self doubt, and completely drained any enjoyment from writing literally anything, because I couldn’t get my professor’s voices out of my head. I loved my professors and I think I learned a lot, but I became so obsessed with my writing being perfect and impressive and something they would want and like, that I stopped writing things that I liked. So, I had a crisis and dropped out! And didn’t write anything for like four years so 🫠 but we’re slowly gettin’ back into it.
Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?
I don’t think there are any themes I enjoy reading that I couldn't really write, but genres definitely. I don’t know if I could write a contemporary romance. Unless I am doing a modern AU lol but even then I always seem to end up adding some kind of fantastical element. I love reading a good Emily Henry novel, but I try to write a lighthearted contemporary romance and inevitably some ghosts or fucked up fairies of some sort will appear. I gotta inject a little horror and fantasy into pretty much everything I write, which I think a lot of people are surprised by. I’m surprised by it, because I am such a baby I can’t handle watching horror movies. I think less horror, and more like, gothic elements maybe? IDK man it’s been a long time since I’ve been in a literature class.
Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?
I wanna be Maggie Stiefvater when I grow up. She’s a young adult novelist but she is such a talented writer, I can’t even explain other than her books make my brain go !!!!!
I cannot recommend Scorpio Races or The Raven Cycle enough. She’s got such a distinct voice, and she is really good at magical realism which I love. I don’t know if I intentionally try to emulate her though I think I’m just a sponge that just absorbs bits and pieces of anything I read, but I think I have unintentionally stolen a line or two from her before.
Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?
I have a home office that I adore and is super cute and cozy but unfortunately most of my writing is done at work on my lunch break. But that’s also a pretty nice place, a shaded courtyard at the hospital I work at that’s got really nice tall trees that blossom in the spring.
What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?
I always come up with some pivotal character detail or plot point while I’m doing dishes. Then I have to scramble for my phone with sudsy hands to immediately tell Liz I have had A Thought.
Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?
I think a lot of my stories are about grief, which I don’t usually realize until later. Grief and memory and growing out of the place you were born, and the kind of dissonance that comes from wanting so desperately to go home but not fitting when you get there. Or things are different than how you remember, for better and for worse. I love thinking about complicated parent/child relationships, and coming to the realization that more often than not your parents are neither heroes or villains, they’re just people. Coming of age stories but the protag are in their late twenties?
I looooove to write about people slowly (or not so slowly) falling in love and the little things you notice about someone when that’s happening. Like the way a slight sunburn sometimes makes blue eyes look even bluer, the way someone’s eyes widen before they start laughing, like they’re surprised at their own amusement. Getting to know someone in so many different contexts. So different kinds of intimacy I guess? It wasn’t until recently that I even considered writing smut lmao and even now when I try the characters just end up having some deep conversation and unearthing some kind of trauma. Let’s not analyze what that says about me.
But it always seems to come back to grief at some point and living with loss and growing around it. Which is strange because I’m very lucky to have not gone through that process with anyone extremely close to me. It is definitely something I think about a lot though, it’s almost like I’m trying to brace myself, or practice grieving before it actually happens.
What’s your reason for writing?
Escapism babyyy. I say escapism then talk about how all I ever write about is grief….so….but it is both escapism and kind of working through some shit emotionally lol. One of my favorite possibly cringey things to do, but something that has genuinely helped me a lot, is creating a character that has a lot of qualities that I feel self conscious about. They have ADHD, they’re tall and a little clumsy, or they’ve got the same body type as me. They also dropped out of art school. But it doesn’t bother them at all. They’re not insecure about any of those things. Or if they are, they learn not to be. And the other characters love them anyway.
One of the things I’ve really enjoyed doing with a lot of the fanfiction I write is I get a chance to write about the moments in between the big moments. Explore aspects of characters that maybe there wasn’t time for in the game. Or you know if it’s Wyll just aspects that Larian didn’t bother to do at all i’m not bitter
Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?
Literally any. I crave any form of validation. I love when people can point out themes and stuff to me because I usually miss that myself lol.
How do you want to be thought about by your readers?
Uhhhhhhhhh I have never considered this. Positively? I think more than anything I want people to care as much as I care about these characters, that we’re all being genuine and sincere and sappy together.
What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?
I don’t know if it’s my greatest strength lol but I love writing dialogue. That always comes easily to me. And descriptions of landscapes. That’s always something people in class would point out. I will wax poetic about a mountain or the sea don’t test me.
How do you feel about your own writing?
It comes and goes lol. I try not to think about it too much honestly because I’ll spiral pretty fast into extremely self critical territory and freeze up. Because I must be a genius, Professor Signor told me so, now I have this impossible standard to live up to. Also my professor never told me I was a genius but she did really like my writing and wanted me to take a bunch of honors classes and be on the school literary magazine and all of that pressure and expectation kiiinda made me freak out and run away. So now I try to just have fun, and that’s what I want to feel more than anything is that I’m having fun, and truly enjoying this part of me that has been a part of me for as long as I can remember.
tagging @hauntedliz @mars-colonyand @likesomethingblooming if you wanna!
#toad rambles#sorry this is long and rambly and hopefully not braggy???#but also writing is like the one thing I know I'm decent at so
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Siffrin goes to Day Treatment chapter 2. there's a lot of projection in this to be honest LOL
Why wasn't Mirabelle here? On the bus with him? The bus was noisy, old, and the roads were riddled with potholes. Every so often there was a hideous screech and bump that nearly took Siffrin out of his seat. Josephine grimaced.
"Sorry, the roads are bad. Just…hang in there."
Siffrin covered his ears tightly, gritting his teeth, closing his eye as shut as possible.
Please be over. Please be over. Please be over.
Next time, he'd be riding with five other people. Were they going to be loud and talkative? Siffrin's stomach screamed imagining it. Hastily, they ran their fingers over and over the inside of their plaid coat. Siffrin took some slow breaths in and out, trying not to yelp when yet another bump was hit.
Siffrin watched the buildings pass by in the bus. A shop, a laundromat, a gas station…
Another bump. They anchored themself to their seat, fingers gripping the ripped leather tightly.
"We're almost there, Seth."
"Uhm. S--Siffrin." Siffrin grimaced.
"Siffrin. Sorry. Beautiful name."
Siffrin breathed a little easier, releasing his clutch on the seat.
"Thank you."
"Your accent is so pretty, too. Where are you from?"
"…a place."
"Bet you get all sorts of ladies, don't you?"
Siffrin laughed.
"Actually, uhm, I am dating someone. He's…he's a big, buff sweetie."
"Aw, that's sweet!" Josephine giggled. "How long have you two been together?"
"Almost a year." Siffrin smiled. "I want to plan something special."
Josephine nodded.
"Tell you what. I can tell you're really nervous about seeing a bunch of new faces."
Shit. Was he THAT obvious? just now, Siffrin noticed beads of sweat trailing off his forehead.
"When you get to the center, you're just gonna sit in any spot you want. There's couches, a table with four chairs, a rocking chair, there's plenty of room. And when you get seated, the lady in charge will ask you to introduce yourself."
Introduce himself. He fidgeted more with his coat. What if his voice cracked? What if everybody asks him questions?
"And you'll just say your name, and what you like to do."
"…I like woodcarving…but…I can't really…do that there."
"You can still mention it. And a few other things. What're some other things you like?"
"P-puns." He spat out. "Theatre. Acting. I know some stuff about space, too. Uhm."
Siffrin rubbed his arm, praying that nobody would question why he's wearing a turtleneck plus a coat in the warm weather. He was a little warm, but he wasn't about to take his coat off.
"See? That's perfect. You can say that, and you'll feel better after." Josephine nodded.
"What if people ask questions?"
"I'd say answer one or two. Three questions if you're up for it."
Why did this have to be so hard? Couldn't he just put on a facade and act it out? He just wanted to be back in his bed, away from the world.
His bed.
It was so soft, and plush, with so many blankets. It was much better than sleeping up in the trees like he was used to. But he still kept his window wide open at night to feel the breeze and smell the trees. He wasn't used to having an actual home yet.
Siffrin sighed. They wanted to be back in bed SO badly. They were NOT a morning person.
rrrrrrt….screeeeeech…. the bus came to a stop in front of a large, blue building. There was a sign hanging from the door, saying "where hope begins".
The bus door opened slowly and noisily, making Siffrin clutch his head again. Just breathe, just breathe. Now get up from your seat.
They weren't moving.
"It's okay, Siffrin." Josephine said.
"I'm sorry." He spat out. "I just…I'm-- I'm scared. I don't know what to expect."
"I'll go in with you."
"….uhm…do you…know a Mirabelle, by any chance? Super pretty, fluffy cloud hair, always wears a big ribbon?"
"Oh yes, I know her! She isn't here today, she's attending a lecture at one of the Houses."
Siffrin gnawed at his lip. What he would give to just have Mirabelle by his side.
Just get up.
He stiffly got up from his seat, put one leg in front of the other, and exited the bus with great effort. Josephine reached to take his hand, but he shook his head at her.
"Please don't touch me."
"Okay. I won't."
Entering the building with Josephine right behind them, Siffrin took in one last gasp of fresh air.
Six pairs of eyes were on him. One set belonging to the lady in charge, the other five belonging to the clients.
"There's our new guy!" The lady smiled. "Everybody, this is our newest client, Siffrin."
"HiI'mSiffrin." He choked out, waving.
Siffrin was met with a chorus of "Hi Siffrin!" in return.
"Tell us about yourself."
Siffrin was silent for a minute, scanning the room. There were all kinds of activities to do, various mental health awareness posters on the walls, and there was coffee and water to drink.
"Uhm. I like theatre."
"That's pretty cool," The lady said, "Can you act out something for us?"
Siffrin laughed nervously, adjusting his hat.
"Not right now, maybe later."
"Alright, well, everybody, I hope you'll help Siffrin adjust to how we do things here!"
He wanted to vanish. To be anywhere but here. But he promised Mirabelle he'd give this program a try.
For now, he sat at the table with various coloring pages on it. He expected to see simple cartoons, but was surprised to see intricate mandalas instead. A few other pages consisted of flowery fields, a couple were of furnished rooms…
Okay. He could color for a few hours until lunch. But he was expected to socialize as well. But with who?
#i wasn't sure how to end this chapter LOL#siffrin#in stars and time#isat fanfic#isat spoilers#just in case
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Unorthodox неортодоксальный
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Barnes!Reader
Warnings: siblingxsibling relationship,brother/sister,mentions of torture, blood, violence, any russian used i got from google translate so sorry if it's not accurate 😬😬, also don't apologize for a long request, I actually really appreciate these as I have more to work off of
Words: 4541
Flashes of his previous life flicker behind Bucky's closed eyes. He was most certainly dead, right? He fell hundreds of feet to his death. Even if he was a super soldier now, there was only so much the human body could withstand falling from that height.
"Bucky!" Your small, pudgy hands are grasping for him. His sweet baby sister that he would die for. Being the eldest of four, of course Bucky would gladly defend any of his siblings but you were special to him, the closest to his heart.
Pain radiates through his body. Brief moments of consciousness blip by here and there but he just couldn't keep his eyes open long enough to figure out where he is.
You look so cute in your nurse's uniform, your hair pinned up in the latest style. Something that was actually a part of his fantasies. Whenever he caught you working at the army base, he would stop whatever he was doing to admire you. A side he'd never seen before. You were serious while at work. How could you not be when lives were on your hands. Honestly, you should have been called a surgeon with your knowledge of the human physiology and anatomy.
"Quit staring sergeant!" You'd chuckle when you inevitably caught him.
Where were you now, Bucky wondered. Were you safe? Eating well? Was Steve taking care of you like he promised he would if anything happened to Bucky?
"Bucky. . ." Soft eyes gaze lovingly at him, from the toddler you had once been you were now a young lady. Your long lashes lacquered and red stained lips. You were downright irresistible. Bucky just had to keep you all to himself. He watches as his hand reaches out to stroke the skin of your upper arm. So soft and warm. Like you were actually there with him. These small moments were what Bucky cherished the most during his time at the training camp. Sneaking out in the middle of the night so that you could make out in the woods. Always quick moments when the two of you were able to be together.
His chapped lips whisper your name over and over again.
Bucky vaguely recalls the way your fingers caressed the stubble on his jaw. Tender and making him nuzzle his face further into your palm. That goddamn giggle of your's that shoots straight through his heart leaves your lips. He was completely your's. As you were with him.
Losing comprehension of the passing of time, eventually Bucky is roused awake to find himself strapped to a metal chair. Harsh lights are shining down on him. When he attempts to even wiggle, the straps restraining him only tighten.
It takes Bucky a moment for his eyes to focus and his ears to clear. Figures move around him like shadow people, speaking in a language Bucky didn't understand.
His head lolls from shoulder to shoulder before someone forces his head up.
"Good. You're awake."
Besides the lights glaring on him, the rest of the room was too dark for him to decipher much. Men in uniforms stand erect behind the man who'd spoken to him.
"Your body seems to have accepted the prosthetic nicely." The man cocks his head and looks to the left side of Bucky's body.
Bucky's eyes trail to his left shoulder. Instead of flesh, there was shining metal. It takes a moment for his brain to register that this arm is not his original. That even though it obeys the command his brain gives it, there's something off about the way it feels. His metal arm is heavy and slow.
His mouth opens to speak, or scream, he wasn't sure anymore. But Bucky's mouth is dry and leaves him croaking.
The man in front of him takes a step closer. "I'd advise you to take things slowly. You have been unconscious for several weeks." His glasses catch the light from above.
Even with his foggy brain, Bucky knew that he was in a bad spot. The soldier in him struggles to formulate a plan, let alone remember what he'd been taught about being captured. Like he was before. His pale blue eyes try and take note of everything he was able to see.
He flinches when the man reaches out and touches the seem where his shoulder flesh was melded to metal. "It will take a while for you to get used to. But thankfully the super soldier serum in you will aid in a speedy recovery. You must realize by now, Sergeant Barnes, that you are no longer under the possession of the United States military. You're in much better hands. HYDRA will mold you into the best version of yourself. The arm was a sudden improvement."
Everything around him feels like he's swaying though he was stationary in the infernal devil's chair that forbade his movements.
"Rest assured, Sergeant Barnes, we'll turn you into something spectacular.
Nothing was going to plan. He was greatly resisting all forms of brainwashing that they had in their belt. Everyone was surprised, not sure of what to do next. Zola was perplexed.
"If we cannot physically force him into subjugation, then we shall try another route. . ." Zola glances down at the file he had on James Buchanen Barnes. There was a list of three other siblings. Only one of them piqued his interest in particular. You. You were already stationed in a military base that wasn't far from where the Allies were last spotted. If he sent out enough men, they could obtain you fairly easily.
He makes a note to his assistance to acquire you at once. Zola turns back to the spy mirror that looked out to Bucky, the psykonic helm that wrapped around his head gleamed. It was like Bucky could see through the mirror and straight into Zola the way he glared venomously at him. There are two other 'surgeons' in the room with him who await Zola's order.
Pressing the button on the intercom, Zola speaks into the microphone "We shall take a break. I believe we've found an incentive for you."
Bucky's lips curl viciously, baring his teeth as he pulls at his bindings for the upteenth time. He was tired but he wasn't prepared on giving up anytime soon. They'd have to kill him.
That was Bucky's plan until they drag you in several hours later. He let out an animalistic roar as he jerks forward. They were holding you by your hair with your arms tied behind you. Your nurse's uniform was dirtied by small specks of blood.
Your captor pulls you up higher so Bucky has a better view of your battered face.
Zola takes his place behind the spy mirror once more. The intercom crackles with his voice "Do you like the gift? You can only have it if you give in. Lev." he's instructing the guy who was holding you by the hair.
'Lev' nods and swiftly punches you in the face. Stars fly in your vision with black splotches crowding the corners. Bucky's spitting out every foul curse he could think of, gritting his teeth as he desperately tries to break free and save you.
"Again Lev. I don't think he understands."
The sound of his knuckles connecting to the side of your face assaults Bucky's ears.
You felt the splitting of the skin on the bridge of your nose. Possible bruising but if he hit you one more time, you were sure that your nose would break.
Side of your face already starts to discolor. Blood vessels broken beneath.
Tears fill up Bucky's eyes as he continues to scream for you. Violence making his muscles tremble.
You never thought your brother was capable of making such a heart wrenching noise.
Be strong, you tell yourself as you bite back the cries that bubble in your throat. You swallow back the bit of blood that was accumulating in your mouth from your torn lip. Be strong, damnit. Like Bucky has always been for you.
"Again."
"STOP!!" Bucky wails. "Please. Stop!"
Twice was too much for Bucky to handle. A third would have broken him.
You take a shaky breath through your mouth, not trusting the structure of your nose. Rust was heavy on your tongue. They reduced your strong brother to begging. Your god-like brother. The man you held up on such a high pedestal. No one else could ever compare to him. He was the ideal man.
"Is there something you'd like to say?" came Zola's voice once more.
His breathing comes out ragged, throat torn up. "I-I'll do. . . whatever you say. Let her go. That's all I ask. Let her go."
Zola's sinister smile was palpable through the com. "Wonderful news."
Zola never intended to release you though. Not when you can be another component to his Winter Soldier Program. After Bucky agreed, the took you away. They throw you in a barren cell to lick your wounds.
Hours pass but eventually the toss Bucky into the same cell as you. He's covered with sweat and feverish cheeks. His lips barely move yet you catch delirious mumbling.
"Oh god Bucky. . . what did they do to you?" You whimper at the sight of your brother but get to work. Checking his pupils and pulse points to assert that he was still alive for his breathing was near non existent.
Your lips quiver as you clean his face the best you could, not understanding what they did to him.
Faintly, Bucky says your name.
"I'm here." Pressing your lips to his forehead in a kiss and reassurance spilling from your mouth.
Neither of you were aware of the eyes that still watch you. They wanted to see how the two of you interact when you thought you were alone.
"I'm sorry." Bucky rasps out.
"Conserve your energy, Bucky." You smooth his tangled hair out of his face.
He shakes his head, repeating his apology.
Every day they take Bucky away from you to do. . . whatever they were doing. At the end of the day he was always returned worse than the previous day.
You still didn't know what your fate would be. They appeared to have forgotten about you. The food brought was the one sign that your presence was remembered.
Bucky insists on giving you the rest of his food. "You need to eat more. You're losing way too much weight."
"I'm fine. You're the one who really needs it."
"Don't argue with me. I'm still strong enough to force feed you." A ghost of a smile quirks his lips up. That same toothy grin that made dozens of girls before you fall for him. He holds up a piece of bland bread to your face. "Be a good girl for me."
You blush and roll your eyes. "I'll have half of it." You open your mouth and bite down enough that left your brother with some to eat.
His thumb brushes the crumbs off of your lips. "Still messy as ever, doll."
Playfully you nip his thumb, relishing in the brief moment of normalcy. It took you back to a time before the war. When Bucky and you would take a trip outside of Brooklyn, your version of a date since no one would know who you were let alone that you were siblings.
But you'd noticed his memories fading. He couldn't remember the name of your other siblings or of your parents. Was even starting to forget about Steve.
At least you seemed to be the exception.
Zola watches the grainy black and white monitor that looked into your's and Bucky's cell. He hears the low murmuring of his staff around him who were also watching the interaction.
Bucky leans in toward your face.
"инцест?" Someone breathes out in disbelief. Incest.
"It appears so." Zola replies. He taps his fingers against his chin. "These two just keep getting more interesting. Lev, how much of the serum do we have left to spare?"
Lev glances up from his own papers. He knows already what the small, bespectacled man was thinking. Attention turned to the monitor. Vaguely he could make out the smile that spread across your face.
You would be Zola's next experiment.
Tears stream down your voice as another wave of agonizing pain shatters your skull. A mouth guard had been settled to protect your teeth from cracking as you clench down on them for dear life.
You'd been given the serum a week ago. For an entire seven days you were throwing up your guts, shacking from cold yet sweating from a fever that also seized you. It was enough to make you beg for death. Bucky could do nothing to ease your agony, only hold you in his arms; his cold metal arm offering you coolness for your sweating face.
Zola was smiling down at you from outside of your cell. You survived and were now officially part of his Winter Soldier Program.
That's when they started your brainwashing sessions.
You, as Bucky had, were stripped of any memory of family or friends. Not even of who you were.
The only memories that remained untouched were those of you and Bucky.
Your mind fractures into a dozen pieces. Mindless.
There was blood between your dark, deep cryostasis slumber.
Other Winter Soldiers came and went. Unable to surpass You and Bucky.
Many are considered utter failures.
Zola would never be able to replicate the success.
Another assignment. So similar to the dozens you've already executed. They blend with one another until it's just endless killing. Nothing felt odd about it. All was going according to plan.
"Nik F'yuri vozglavil kompaniyu (Nick Fury has company)." Bucky informs you as he observes through the scope on his rifle.
"U tebya yest' shans (You got the shot)?" Company was of little consequence. The job was to be done whether or not there were bystander casualties. You're looking into the window as well with your own scope. You could make out the lump of a body that was Nick Fury moving around along with. . .
Your brows furrow, not hearing your brother's confirmation.
Why did that man look familiar?
Flicking your eyes over to Bucky, it appears he doesn't have the same vague recognition that you do. He continues to be all business. There's an odd twisting in your gut though. Something deep down inside of you trying to speak. Try as you may, you couldn't hear any of it's muffled words. In your chest was an unmistakable warmth of familiar fondness when you first spotted the blonde haired man. It was how you felt when you looked at your brother. On a lesser degree, of course. When you gaze at Bucky, that warmth intensified tenfold. He was radiant in your eyes. Your god.
You look again into your scope. Taking a deep breath, you give Bucky the go ahead to shoot Nick Fury.
His finger effortlessly squeezes down on the rifle's trigger. You hear the sound of a window shattering from the bullet that flies from the muzzle.
"On upal (He's down)." Bucky hastily announces and the both of you are already on your feet, fleeing the rooftop. Boots hitting against concrete. Scaling down the building though, you listen to the commotion that has disrupted the once quiet street.
You're afforded little time to get away. But your mind lingers to the blonde haired man that had been with Nick Fury.
That was how you and Bucky recovered your memories. All thanks to Steve Rogers.
Going from being Winter Soldiers to fellow Avengers was a true culture shock.
Steve was patient with the both of you. Bucky was by far more feral than you. You'd been the one to prevent Bucky from taking on Captain America. Hissing to him that you felt like you could trust Steve. You couldn't really explain it in the heat of the moment, but eventually your memories start to resurface.
The rest of the Avengers were more reluctant at your presence in the Tower. They took longer to warm up to you. Warming up to Bucky took MUCH longer. He'd never trusted people easily to begin with. One had to go through trials before Bucky deemed them someone he could let into his inner circle. He was prickly for the first five months as the both of you were recovering from trauma caused by HYDRA. You kept to the room you and Bucky shared (despite Bucky having his own room right down the hall). Bucky was sure that you weren't out of his sight for too long. His semblance of normal was corrupted. Honestly so was your's. How did one relax? You were checking over your shoulders constantly for some unseen threat that was eminent. Your sleep was haunted with nightmares of HYDRA finding you and Bucky, destroying your new home, and hauling you back to Russia.
Only the soothing warmth of Bucky's bare chest could calm you.
"Me too." He'd whisper into your hair as he cradled you against him. You bury your face into his chest, inhaling his scent. Many times it was Bucky to wake up screaming or even worse was when he woke up immediately trying to punch the closest person to him. He'd snap out of it the moment your voice hit his ears.
"Do you. . ." your throat was unbearably dry. "Do you think they'll ever go away? The nightmares and fear?"
Bucky's plush lips ghost the crown of your head, dragging his nose against your hair to take in your smell: eucalyptus and mint. The sharpness of the mint tickles his nose. "I don't think so. At least, not any time soon. It might take decades to recover."
Over time you learned to trust the other Avengers. Especially when Wanda came into the picture. She knew better than anyone else what it was like to be held prisoner by HYDRA. The two of you bond immediately. Wanda became the female best friend you never had. Both of you spoke at length about your experiences, forming a type of therapy session that involved wine and dessert. No boys allowed so Bucky was forced to hang out with Steve and Sam.
You felt like you could tell her anything without Wanda judging you. So you told her the century long secret you and Bucky have been hiding.
At first you were scared, of course you would. Anyone else would turn their nose up in disgust if they were to learn that you and your brother were involved in a secret relationship. Zola had used your love for one another against the both of you as emotional blackmail.
Wanda doesn't blink when you tell her. "I already knew that."
Shocked, you gape at her making Wanda break out into a smile. "H-How? We're always so careful."
"I think I know you well enough to decipher the little looks you give each other." Wanda giggles at your blush.
"You. . . You don't think it's gross?"
Picking up at the timidness in your voice, her expression softens and she gathers you up in a big hug. "Of course not. I'll admit it's unorthodox, but what can you do when your heart's in love? You can yell at it as much as you want but it can't change what the heart truly wants. And Bucky" Her lips turn up in a teasing grin "well I don't blame you for being attracted to him."
Your laugh is mixed with tears of relief and squeeze Wanda tightly in your embrace.
You really had found a true friend in Wanda. Someone else who you would fiercely protect.
A hail of bullets follow after you and Bucky. You curse the narrow, darkened hallway. No windows for a hasty escape. You'd have to find a stairwell if you hoped to get out before one of the bullets catches you.
Bucky's strong hand grips your wrist as he swings the both of you around a corner.
Voices crackled over your communicator situated in your ear. Tony had been instructing you on the layout and the easiest exits to get to. But you and Bucky were underground, messing up the signal required for communication.
Splintering pain smacks against your shoulder and you nearly fall face first from the impact were it not for Bucky's grip on you.
Eyes flashing over to your shoulder you see the bleeding exit wound. You curse under your breath. "I'm hit."
The both of you are still running through the labyrinth of halls. Bucky slows a bit, wanting to tend to you, but shouting could be heard at your heals.
"Fuck." Bucky spits when he see's the red of your life staining your uniform.
"I'm fine. We need to keep going." You urge him on, pulling at his arm but Bucky isn't moving.
His eyes don't leave your shoulder, heat raising to his face. Detachment leaves his expression void.
"Bucky!"
The transformation was instantaneous. He wasn't Bucky anymore.
"Those fuckers." His teeth grind out.
"Bucky it's fine. We need to-" He pushes you down to the ground and turns to the opposite end you'd been running from. "Bucky! Stop! We need to get out of here!" The pain in your shoulder was starting to really get to you. Blood seeps between your fingers as you attempt to put pressure upon it.
He lifts up his gun and heads straight into the fray. Moving with the precision of a well trained machine, he lets the Winter Soldier creep up on him until he was that same bloody assassin under HYDRA control. You marvel at the magnificence of your brother. He made killing look like an art form. Stray bullets graze him and bounce off the vibranium that made up his left arm. Bucky became water, weaving and flowing between your assailants. Swiftly taking them out two by two.
Finally there was silence and Bucky returns to your side. Blood spattered all over him. Most of it was from his enemies. Piercing blue eyes examine your shoulder. He kneels down and touches you gingerly.
"Are you okay, doll? Only one hit you, right?" So different from how he'd been a second ago, his voice his trembling as he checks you over.
"Ugh, I feel so stupid." You mutter while Bucky rips a piece of his pants to wrap around your shoulder. You wince when he has to tighten your impromptu bandage. Bucky flinches when he catches your wince of pain. Whispering out a soft apology. His hands are shaking though which is very unlike Bucky. "Hey, are you okay?"
"I can't stand seeing you bleed." He breathily replies. "It reminds me of what HYDRA did to you. And. . . I was unable to protect you."
You reach up and hold his hand. "Bucky. . ." His fingers squeeze the life out of your own but you could hardly care.
"It haunts me the most, more than anything else they did to me." Slowly he gathered you in his arms. Giving such care to not jostle your wounded shoulder. "Your screams. . . your blood. . ."
Wrapped up in him, you felt so small. So safe.
"And there was nothing I could do to protect the love of my life." That last part has him shuddering.
Your smile has the tears that'd been in your eyes spill over your lower lashes. You reach up to kiss him, digging your fingers into his mess of black hair.
When you pull away, his gaze is filled with stars and reverence.
"I'm still here." You remind him with another kiss. He chases after your lips when you break away to start speaking again "Lets get out of here. I'm pretty sure I've lost quite a bit of blood."
No other words needed, Bucky lifts you up in his arms and carries you the rest of the way out.
After getting checked out by the medic at the Tower, you and Bucky head to the common areas where you find the rest of the Avengers.
Wanda stands immediately and rushes to you. "Are you okay? We heard you get shot!" She spots the large bandage around your shoulder, finding the culprit.
"It's nothing." You reassure her with a smile and give her a side hug. When your attention returns to the others though. . . "Did something happen?"
All of them were staring at you and Bucky. Steve goes to Bucky and whispers something in his ear, his face grave.
Bucky goes rigid.
"You getting shot wasn't the only thing we heard. . ." Natasha reveals.
Your heart plummets. No. . .
"While your comms may not have been working, our's were." Tony sighs out. "I'm actually not surprised with your Flowers in the Attic reveal."
Seeing your disbelief, Wanda holds your arm. "Everyone has known the bond you and Bucky share."
Bruce whispers "Completely took me by surprise."
Sam rolls his eyes. "C'mon, it was obvious that there was a little more to their relationship."
You want to hide yourself away from the embarrassment. They were talking like you and Bucky weren't just standing there. This was not how you wanted the others to find out. Ideally they never would have if it were up to you.
"It's okay," Wanda pats your arm "They don't think any differently about the either of you. You guys are still our friends."
Bucky arches a brow, scanning all of the faces in the room in an attempt to detect any hidden disdain. He stares particularly hard at Tony who lifts his hands up defensively. "Hey, it's cool by me if you're schtupping your sister. I've seen enough of it in Game of Thrones that I'm completely unphased."
Natasha shakes her head. "Tony is putting it very crudely, but he's right. And so is Wanda. You and Bucky have saved all of our asses numerous times. We trust you with our lives. And, it's easy to see the genuine love you have."
"Definitely will take some getting used to, but it makes sense." Bruce casts you a gentle smile. "I highly doubt anyone will love Bucky as much as you do and vice versa. Hell, remember when Bucky nearly smashed a guy's face in at the bar? Just because he got a little handsy with you."
"Thankfully I didn't have to." Bucky fondly remembers and lovingly looks down at you. "You broke four of his fingers."
Sam laughs. "We had to pull her off of the poor guy."
Sheepishly smiling at everyone's laughter, you feel so warm inside. You worried about how they would react if the truth were ever revealed. Feared that they would shun you and Bucky. The Avengers had become your family after all. And they cherished both you and Bucky.
You grab Bucky's metal hand. His lips cock up in a curious grin.
HYDRA may still linger in the depths of your sleep, but you find solace in knowing that you and your brother Bucky have found refuge and a new purpose thanks to Steve and the rest of his friends. You could trust them with this huge part of your life.
Tags:
@enchantingcupcakecollectionfan
@bakugospartner
#tw dark content#dark content#dark themes#mcu reader insert#mcu x reader#mcu fandom#mcu fanfic#mcu fanfiction#mcu bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes#marvel fanfiction#marvel#marvel x reader#marvel cinematic universe#mcu#marvel mcu#avengers#request
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
When We’ll Meet One Way..
(paul lahote x oc)
She is the daughter of the moon.. some would say she was born for this
“Laura!"
Paul perked up hearing her mom call her name while she laughed. He couldn't see what was happening, even while he was phased in his wolf, could only see a bit of a half a corner of what he assumed was her bedroom.
It was nighttime, around nine thirty and most of the house lights were turned off. Then Paul quickly got up on all fours.
Paul saw Laura.
It was only for two seconds but he saw her. He didn't see her face though, but he saw her long black curly hair Her hair was beautiful. It so thick and so full, it almost looked unreal... like her eyes.
Her dark royal blue eyes.
Paul's never been one to be overwhelmed but when he first looked at her earlier today, he was. And it wasn't even her eyes or her hair that looked unreal, but it was just everything about her.
Her royal blue eyes almost took her whole baby face. He couldn't even describe it but she was like one of those cartoon Disney princesses. And she was so tiny, Paul meant he's well over six feet but Laura was probably four foot ten. He couldn't wait till he got the chance to have her in his arms.
In other words, she was an absolute angel.
Paul's angel.
It had only been four hours ago since it was the first time he saw her.
It was four hours ago that his life changed and everyone and everything else in Paul's life became secondary.
Because he imprinted.
Laura.
He didn't even realize that he was walking closer towards the window he saw her from.
"hey!" Paul yelled in his head thinking he got pushed from one of his pack brothers.
But once he looked up from it wasn't.
It was just a man.
At first, he thought he was dealing with a vampire but there wasn't the usual sickly sweet smell that he remembered them smelling like.
Before he could actually get up and charge, Paul stopped once he saw familiar eyes.
Royal blue eyes.
"Laura`s eyes?.."
Paul thought.. was this man Laura`s fath-!
"I know what happened"
How did he know about the imprint?..
"Leave. Now"
Paul took an involuntary step back, feeling like it was an alpha order.
what is this? why did i step away like that!?
"Paul!"
Sam came running towards them, looking like Jared and Quil right behind.
"Why isn't Sam phased too?"
"I don't know, he just told us that you were in trouble and told us to him meet over here fast"
"Roger!"
"Get him out of here Sam. All of them." Roger said while still glaring at Paul.
Hey! how can he talk to Sam like that?
"This is something we don't have control over. Roger I'm sorry, but Paul imprintin-!"
"No!" Roger yelled out causing even Sam to take a step back.
"I. Have. Control."
"Roger.." Sam was taking a step back from him
Is he gonna-?!
Jared's question was answered before he could even finish his question.
Roger phased.
But that didn't surprise us as much after.
He was standing. As tall as almost nine feet on hind legs.
What kind of wolf is that?!
Roger now standing in front of all us. Even with all them being wolves themselves .. they all stood there in fear.. and now noticing.. even including Paul..
He couldn't even think right when Roger was running at full speed towards him. For a split second he thought he could take whatever what was coming.. but his confidence level took a big hit when super wolf took down Jared and quil from out of his way.. and it looked like he barley used any strength.. He grabbed Paul with what felt like a metal claw around his neck, he had Paul off the ground hanging off his wolf legs. Now actually feeling helpless while Paul moving around like a fish out of water.
Roger pushed him harder against the tree making the defenseless wolf look right in his face.
Yes this was a wolf he was dealing with and he's seen Sam's alpha face.. but looking at this super wolfs face had Paul not wanting to make anymore eye contact..
He then got close to his face making Paul stand still in his death grip he had on his neck.
"She's not yours. She's mine!" he pushed Paul hard against the tree again to prove his point.
But he could slam him all he wanted to
"Not anymore!" Paul said right back to his face not caring if he killed him right then and there.
He quickly looked up and he had his claw ready to what would assume would kill him.
"You hurt him you hurt Laura!" Sam yelled out just in the knick of time.
Roger breathed hard while still having his claw around Pauls neck.
'What? Was he waiting for me to apologize? Cause I wasn't!'
Paul thought confidently even with his life literally was in this guys hands.. He looked at Paul like he heard his thoughts.. and Paul hoped that he did.
He finally decided to throw Paul.. and his confidence to the ground. He shook himself to get rid of the stress Paul didn't know had that bad from that death grip..
"Paul! you okay?!" Jared asked
"Course i'm okay" he said confidently hoping that crazy super wolf heard him
"I thought he was gonna kill you!" quill yelled out
"Enough! change back"
"Is he crazy! we're not gonna phase back now! we're dealing with super wolf here!" Jared said looking actually worried to phase back.
"Just do it! Now" Sam ordered
Jared and quil looked at each other then at Paul
"Paul, come on"
He didn't move. Paul stayed right where he was keeping the same glare that crazed wolf was giving him.
"Paul!" Sam yelled
he huffed loud before heading back to phase.
Paul wasn't even paying attention at the question Jared and quil had while they phased back.
"Why didn't he phase back? wasn't it alphas orders?" Jared asked
It was true. He didn't phase back.
Roger yelled out and phased back to normal.
"Because I don't take orders"
Roger now was on his knees back to being human, Sam walked up to him with an extra pair of shorts that they kept in the woods for backups
"Roger is different." Sam said looking back to Reality Roger then back to them.
"He is a child of the moon"
There was a brief moment of silence between us.
"I thought they were like.. extinct" Jared said while we all looked at Roger like they were starstruck.
"No"
Roger now stood up.
"But there's gonna be four less of you guys if I catch any of you here again"
Paul almost flinched at what that super wolf just said. Sam must of noticed too cause he turned to look at him for a second..
"Ja-"
"NO!"
Sam took a fast step back at his loud voice, Quil and Jared were even surprised that Sam reacted that way…he was the one with the alpha voice.
"You need to listen. All of you listen. If I catch ANY of you here again i. will. hurt. you"
No one said anything.
"You can't do that."
"Paul!"
Quil quietly yelled at Paul, but he didn't care what would've happened to him when he said that
Roger laughed still scaring the other a little..
"I can't? it was pretty easy almost breaking your neck like a twig"
Those words made Paul almost charge at if Jared hadn't held him back.
"Let me tell you something, you think you guys are so strong. Sam isn't your big bad alpha anymore. I am."
Roger noticed that Sam was taken back by what he said.. but he didn't care.
"Sorry Sam. I don't trust your control over them anymore."
"They don't need any controlling. They didn't do anything wrong, Paul didn't do anything wrong"
Roger looked at Paul for a moment.
"and you know it" Sam whispered
"What I do know is that this night is over." Roger then looked back at the younger wolfs
"Go home."
Before Paul could start walking towards him Roger growled
"GO HOME!"
"P-paul let's go" Jared said with a bit of fear in his voice.
Paul aggressively shook Jared's hand off his shoulder
"Let's head back"
"What! you can't let him do this! Sam he can-!"
Quil and Jared kept telling him to go and calm down.
"Get off me!"
Sam walks over to them "Ok ok it's fine" Sam said trying to talk over his yelling
"Hey!" Sam now right in Paul's face
"Turn around and go home."
Roger then starts to run back home.
Before Paul could go after him Sam put a hand on his chest
"Don't worry.. you'll see her"
Chapter one, took a while to finally upload this work. I have had this idea for quite some time and I'm finally putting it into words. Tell me what you think and tell me what your excited to see in the next future chapters. Laura is an original character of mine, definitely going to see a lot for her character. But anyways let me know what you guys think?
6 notes
·
View notes